Dancing to the Music of Madness
by phantombuggo
Summary: Georgie was hit hard by the Battle of the Five Armies. Harder than she expected. She also didn't expect to wake up one morning in Shire grass a month before the quest is set to start. Upon discovering the reality of her situation, she decides she will do everything in her power to protect her Company, learn all she can and (hopefully) avoid culture-shocking her dwarves too much.
1. Prologue: The Grief is Real

"_I bid you all, a very fond farewell._"

Those watching Georgiana Chavez leave theatre fourteen could clearly see the evidence of unabashed crying on her face. To them, she was yet another bookworm. The kind that always took the movie adaptation too seriously, who thought of nothing else but the characters and the many ways they could have come out differently, who, God help them, maybe even cosplayed. They took one hard look at the bags under her lovat-green eyes, the pink that was slowly fading from the whites, the redness of her cheeks, no doubt caused by vigorous scrubbing during the film, and the tightness of her mouth and brow (maybe because she was trying not to cry even more after that end credit song. Billy Boyd had outdone himself- anyone would cry after hearing that!) and scoffed at her blatant sensitivity. It was _just_ a movie, after all. It was stupid to become so undone by three little deaths and the well-acted heartbreak on an insignificant hobbit's face. Didn't that girl realize it was all _just_ fiction?

Of course, no one who watched Georgiana leave theatre fourteen would have dared to tell her any of their thoughts. Maybe because they could not see the point, maybe she didn't matter enough, maybe they simply forgot.

If they had, it is doubtful Georgiana would have cared at all. She was still reeling from the horrors of war to which she had been subjected in the last half hour of the film. To her, separation of product and formula was simply impossible. How could anyone watching the belligerent murder of Fili Durin, the awful grief of Tauriel or, that haunted face she would picture for the rest of her life whenever she experienced heartbreak, the crushed face of Bilbo Baggins, ever belittle her emotions by calling it "fine acting"? How could anyone be so callous?

In the moments following her departure from theatre fourteen, Georgiana could not distract herself from the genuine grief she felt. She raged at Peter Jackson, as she smiled kindly at the elderly woman for whom she held the door on her way to the parking lot. She felt the bone-deep hatred of Azog the Defiler as she adjusted her favorite sweater-jacket to combat the mild December chill. She saw, again and again, the broken face of Kili Durin in those seconds before battle-rage hit when she was warming her car and choosing a decent classic rock station for the car ride home.

When she finally gave up on finding a station and put on her mixed tape, she realized, with a start, that there would probably not be any more movies from Middle Earth.

She wanted to cry again.

Why the Hell did she see that movie? She just knew it would end up hurting her.

She hated it when she was right.

Finally, when she was only a few blocks away from her house, Aerosmith's Dude Looks Like a Lady came on. She allowed herself to grasp the small amounts of comfort the song offered and sang along, as she is wont to do with this tape.

She locked her car, and unlocked her house. The curtains on the windows are all drawn except one. Behind that window is a lit Christmas tree that she'll need to take down soon. The Christmas lights on her small house are also lit, in addition to a few rooms inside. She lived alone, and was usually quite happy with that arrangement, but that doesn't mean she hadn't been raised to be cautious. Her father was adamantly paranoid, er, defensive, after all. It was only natural that some of his _teachings_ bled into the heads of his three children.

After that movie, she really wished she still lived with her older sister, younger brother and dad. College will do that to you, she supposed.

Still, Georgiana decided to give herself some comfort after locking up the house and turning out lights. She deserved it after the emotional trials Peter Jackson put her through! After all, there were very few problems in this world that remain unsolvable after a mutated cup of hot chocolate.

She found her favorite Seattle coffee mug, poured the choco powder on top of the mini marshmallows she's added. Whipped cream is splattered on after the concoction had been stirred and warmed to perfection. She added some of her Christmas chocolate just to be safe. Then, in goes a candy cane, chocolate coffee cream powder lightly sprinkled on top with a dash of cinnamon. _This is the perfect Dementor remedy, _her mind whispered. She sighed as she thought,_ I wish I felt this bad over a dementor. Damn Peter Jackson may as well be._

She shook herself to clear her head. She would call Melanie for some desperately needed girl-talk.

On the fourth ring, she heard an excited, "Whaddup, Hoe?"

"Fred, my soul won't stop hurting."

A long-suffering sigh came to her ear and the conversation began.

What one probably needed to know about the two sisters, was that they had always been strangely close. Strange, because they were so vastly different. Melanie, often monikered, Hoe, Bitch, Mah Nig, Slut, Jerk, Demon Chile and Sissy interchangeably, was also called Fred, by her sister. This was in response to her sister, in her fourteen-year-old brilliance, deciding to start calling Georgiana, George, and variations thereof. ("If you get to rename me, then I get to make us the new Weasley Twins! Deal with it!")

Georgie begrudgingly loved it. Fred was quite smug.

The differences between the sisters were quite stark to those close to the family. Where George liked anything from Classic Rock to Adam Lambert, Fred tended to prefer Hip Hop and Miley Cyrus. Freddie liked tattoos and body modification, while George liked books, Tumblr, and odd, old-fashioned things. Fred used coarse language indiscriminately, while George always needed to defend her cursing, ("I only cuss when I'm emotionally compromised or using a favorite colloquialism, Fred.", she would declare pompously. "I don't throw them around like you do!") though others have argued that they were quite similar in their chosen vernacular. Their mother wasn't too concerned about her loose tongue, either, and all three children borrowed heavily from her personality. They were quite adoring of their mother, and devastated when she died during their adolescent years.

As many family friends would agree, however, the sisters were unmistakably similar at the core. Both girls enjoyed warm blankets and cozy beds more than lawn benches and over activity. They would frequently laze about and binge watch tv shows and movies with their younger brother, Max. He wasn't as close as the other two, but he was certainly no less loved, even if Georgiana sometimes had trouble telling him.

"Night, Cry Baby!"

"G'night, Slag. Thanks for talking to me. It helped."

"No problem, always love hearing from you. Oh, and I'm telling everyone back home that you cried like a pansy-bitch during The Hobbit."

She smiled.

"Wouldn't expect anything else."

Georgiana gained much comfort from the seemingly acerbic teasing of his sister that night. The trio had always loved playing the dozen, much to the entertainment of friends, but Fred and George played it best. They might as well have spoken a secret language for all they could convey to the other through a few carefully chosen insults. It was one thing Georgiana missed the most about living with her sister and she was glad to have talked to her on this night.

However, despite of the warm feeling she had when she hung up the phone, Georgiana couldn't shake her grief. She completed her nighttime rituals, prayed a bit and tried to sleep. But all she could think about was how it was totally irrational that she was upset over the Durin line ending(much less that she was about to cry _again)_ and how no matter how she tried to justify it away, her feelings were absolutely real. This inimical grief stole from the locked cells of her mind, where she had sealed the tears that should have been shed at her mother's funeral. She tried valiantly to crush this treacherous onslaught, tried to force the forbidden feelings back into confinement.

Perhaps she could steal back a few moments of protection behind a barricade of logic. Truly, it was _just _a movie! A book! An idea!

Her defenses faltered to the barbed arguments of the opposition. _Yes, of course it was all an idea! An idea that was _born_ from the brilliant mind of a real, living person. A person who crafted his characters with the same deliberate intention and love as many argued God had when creating mankind. These characters came from someone's soul. They are real._

Her barricade fell in bitter defeat, sighing one last, _They're not real!_

The enemy army of emotions swept through her like a tidal wave, laying siege to her well-used emotional barriers.

She felt everything and she wept.

She wailed as she mourned the loss of the Line of Durin. Sobbed that she had, yet again, succumb to the scalding anguish that scraped and bounced through her chest. She wretchedly clutched at her pillows as she vowed to rebury this evil emotion come morning, so she could function as unaffectedly as possible. She couldn't let her hurt affect her life, she resolved, even as she cried herself to sleep, still lamenting that she could never know the dwarves that she had grown to love as fiercely, and as ruinously, as she loved her mother.

Unconsciously, and as one last resistance to the ache that resounded in her heart, she began imagining all of the ways she would save the Durins in her dreams, however fitfully she ended up sleeping.

What Georgiana never noticed, not that she was particularly observant anyway, was the ethereally beautiful woman that remained in the corner of her eye throughout the night. She may have seen the gorgeous glowing dress, or the tell-tale blonde locks, but she quickly forgot in favor of her imaginings of a delightful Shire burglar.


	2. It's Not a Dream

The first thing she noticed upon waking was grass. It was the first delightful observation she made that morning. Not only was the grass comfortable, but it was _different_. Not ordinary grass for December, but fluffy and soft and beautifully green. She absolutely adored green. Lovely.

The second thing she thought about that delightful morning was, _wrong._ And she was right. There shouldn't be fluffy perfect grass in her bedroom! She hadn't lived with Fred or Zane in months! She smelt dirt. Maybe she should make that thought more poetic somehow, maybe it would comfort her. She inhaled a bit of soft mushy earth. And, she thinks, a bug of some kind. Decidedly not lovely. At all.

She began extracting herself from the _soft, mushy earth_. She peeled her face off the ground first, sure she would see grass marks on her pale cheeks if she looked. Maybe even a rock indention. Well, nothing she could do about that. Next, she stood up, wobbly, because she had gotten up too fast and almost fell back down. Was she drunk? No, wait. That was impossible. She hated drugs. She did that whole thing in high school about drug prevention, remember? She was quite good at it! So...Not inebriated, then. That's good. Supports the Vivid Dream idea really nicely. She decided to test that theory.

She looked at her hands.

Blink.

She flipped them over. Twice.

Nope, she could still see them plain as day. She wiggled her fingers about one at a time. She tapped them against her maroon, silk pajama bottomed thigh. She really did need to thank Fred for the pjs. They were really comfy, and made her feel pretty.

Come on, George! Back to task.

Okay, the first test said this was real. NEXT!

She grabbed her long, mane of curly (haystack) hair, bringing it up to her face to look at. She could see every strand as plainly as if it were all real. She noted that she'd need a haircut soon, her split ends were getting a bit noticeable, especially since it tapered into red-blonde at the ends. In her opinion, lighter hair always let people see your splits easier. Damn. It.

Seriously, this couldn't be real. It wasn't like she had the funds to go to the tropics in the middle of December! It looked like April, for Christ's sake!

It was actually really charming around here, when she thought about it. The rolling hills, the pristine lawns, that addictive smell of thriving trees. Huh. Thriving trees. Thriving Ivory. Great band. Did ivory come from trees? Of course not! It came from elephants, catch up, Georgie! This place kinda reminded her of The Shire… But that was impossible. It had to have been her Durin-grieving brain messing with her dreams. Was that a round door over in that hill? Maybe it was the Shire. She should definitely explore. For research's sake, of course. She was too old to be thinking in terms of explorations and adventures. Did she just scoff in her thoughts? Strange. In any case, research never hurt.

She began walking along, having spotted a nice little dirt path leading up to the smials. She got a few strange glances from the hobbits that were beginning to come out, dressed in casual ruffled skirts and bonnets and loose pants with waistcoats with brass buttons. Must be market day.

This was a wonderful dream. Even if the believability of it scared her a bit. But she would ignore her unease for now. She had just endured The Battle of the Five Armies. Peter Jackson could kiss her happy ass for all she cared. She needed a pick-me-up. She would enjoy this dream to the fullest, damn it!

Those hobbits were quite small, weren't they? A bit adorable, if she said- or thought- so. She bet she would probably fit right in here, she had large feet for her height, size eleven was nothing to frown at. She had the suggested curly hair (though, it would be prettier if she had showered before bed and brushed it wet. It always ended up looking like Bellatrix Lestrange hair then, and Georgie loved the wildness of Bellatrix curls. Her own tending to favor bushy, book-Hermione hair.) and she had the right amount of cheer and love of food needed to inhabit the Shire. She did feel a bit out of place with her height, though. She was of average height, maybe an inch or so short, but it was nothing on these little guys. She thought that maybe the tops of their heads could reach where the bottom of her bra met her ribs. Maybe.

That reminded her, she was still wearing that crappy thing, wasn't she? Oh well, it was certainly less awkward than walking around with her bits flapping around! Plus, it made her breasts look nicer, a bit more like something she could be proud of. Not that anyone would notice the shape of her boobs underneath her large Hogwarts Crest t-shirt. Which probably looked quite strange to them. She crossed her arms over her chest to cover up the Hogwarts crest and decided to talk to a hobbit as her third test. Even if she had convinced herself a few moments ago that it didn't matter, she still wanted to confirm it as a dream. If she could remember, clearly, and understand their conversation as it happened and after with no changes, she could say this was real. That wouldn't happen, but she could hope.

She strode over to the first hobbit she saw, a young man in a red waistcoat with curly brown hair, a stout stomach and a clear look of apprehension. She sauntered over with her (she thought) trademark "Nice to meet you!" smile.

"Excuse me, sir? Hi, my name is Georgiana. I had a quick question if I could steal a moment of your time?", she politely introduced. She was a stickler for propriety some days and an almost rebel others. She figured he would appreciate her manners this morning. She'd save her insanity for her friends.

He seemed a bit more at ease with her words. She sympathised, it must be uncomfortable talking to a big person, not only early in the morning but in their jammies!

He smiled kindly to her before answering, "Of course! I'm Hamfast Gamgee, what can I do for you?"

She almost lost her shit right there.

She'd never dreamed of Hamfast before, though he was one of her favorite hobbits from the books. Must keep it cool, "I, uh, was actually wondering where I am? I think I'm in Hobbiton, but I'm unfamiliar with the Shire and my mom wanted me to visit her friend". Here she stuttered for convincing effect, "A, uh, Mister...Baggins. Yes! I'm almost positive his name is Baggins. I can't remember which, though. Apologies."

At this, he grinned brightly, almost bursting with his proud response, "I know Master Baggins! There's just the one, I'm afraid. Mr. Bilbo Baggins. I'm his gardener."

She almost laughed aloud at seeing him puff his chest with pride. "That's fantastic! Oh, I hate to ask this of you" She really didn't. If she was going to talk to a Gamgee, she would. She forced herself to act as confused and young as she could as she asked, "But if you aren't busy already, would you mind leading me to Mr. Baggins' house, er, hobbit hole? It's called Bag End, right? I'm not getting that wrong?" Of course it was correct. This was her favorite character from her favorite book by her favorite author. She wouldn't get that detail wrong if someone paid her.

Hamfast looked like he was containing his own laughter as he assured, "That's right. I'm not very busy yet, I was just heading up to start working for the day when you caught me. I'd be happy to walk you there."

She beamed back at him and began asking him questions about which plants were his favorite and best for which activity or product. She enjoyed his company and so wanted to give him something to smile about. People tended to enjoy talking about their field of practice, so she politely steered the conversation to his likes and interests. The longer he spoke, the more ground they could cover and the less she would be expected to tell him any more details than the ones she had already lied about. She hated lying to him, but it was necessary.

Georgiana was really beginning to enjoy this dream, when she noticed that it stopped feeling like a dream sometime right before she began her conversation with Mr. Gamgee, and it'd been feeling more and more realistic since then. She tried to reign in her growing panic by focusing on Hamfast's words of plant wisdom. Maybe, something he said would come in handy later. She crossed her fingers. Oh, now it seemed he was talking about fertilizers. That might not be as useful as learning which plants went into which medicines.

While Hamfast was droning about the merits of cow crap versus sheep, Georgiana began thinking about her situation. What would she say when she met THE Bilbo Baggins of Bag End for the first time? Would it be post or pre-Erebor? She recrossed her fingers for post-adventure Bilbo, he might be more willing to help her, a total stranger, if he had already experienced the strangeness of the Company of Dwarves which made him infamous in the Shire. But if, according to Sod's Law, she was going to meet pre-adventure Bilbo, as she was beginning to expect, she might be able to beg a room off of him if she could get him to like her. The Baggins were a wealthy family, and very kind. Maybe she could ask for employment as his maid or something? It was worth a shot. If not, she could offer her labor services to him for free if he would allow her a room for rent while she worked somewhere else in Hobbiton.

Finally, the odd couple came within sights of the gate. She turned to Hamfast, smiled her most grateful smile and asked, "Is this Bag End?". He nodded and happily called his employer to the door, "Good morning, Mr. Bilbo! You have a visitor waiting for you in the front, she tells me her mother was a friend of your family."

Her heart beat quickened.

Georgiana heard him call through the door, "I'll be there in a moment!"

Her breath hitched at his voice. _He isn't REAL! _Her head screamed, rationally.

He was getting closer. "I'm sorry for waking so late, Hamfast. I suppose I ate too much for dinner last night! Was still sleeping it off, I expect!", he chuckled a bit.

She worked to prevent the hyperventilation that her fangirlish body threatened.

Hamfast turned to her and grinned supportively as he called back, "Not to worry, Mr. BIlbo! As I tell my wife, you can never have too much for Dinner."

Her pulse was quite rapid now and she had to shallow out her breathing to uncomfortable levels to hide her anticipation. This was it.

"Too right you are, Hamfast.", said Bilbo chortling as the door _finally_ inched open.

Georgiana wanted to weep, she was so nervous.

He looked first to Hamfast, not yet noticing Georgiana, "You said something about a visitor?"

Did her heart just skip?! She was sure that wasn't a good sign. She felt a bit pale now, too...

Hamfast, the cheerful and ever helpful hobbit that he was simply smiled and nodded his assurance before adding, "Here she is. This is Ms. Georgiana…" He stopped for a moment, before turning to her and inquiring, "I'm sorry, Ms. Georgiana. I don't think I ever asked for your surname."

Shit. _For the love of _God, _can't I get _anything_ right?_

"OH! You're absolutely right, Mr. Gamgee, I must have forgotten to tell you. Chavez. Georgiana Chavez.", she apologetically introduced. She didn't need to act like a green young woman now, that was certain! She was mortified! All the same, she grinned and turned to Bilbo, "And you must be the Mr. Baggins I've heard such wonderful things about!"

She tried to be as casual and interesting as she could, she needed him to want to speak to her. But she also needed to speak to him privately and before he could question the origin of her very strange surname in front of Hamfast, so she turned to Hamfast and steamrolled through, saying, "Thank you so much, Mr. Gamgee for leading me here. I fear I would have lost my way a few times without your help." She couldn't withhold her grin at that, unintentionally deepening her voice to mimic Thorin's at _lost my way,_ remembering Thorin's stellar directional skills.

"I hope I haven't taken up too much of your time! I really appreciate your help-", she began sincerely. "-but even I know that the best time for watering is right before the sun hits the plant and I'm sure I must have taken a lot of your watering time with my chatter! I'm afraid you might have to rush a bit to get it all done before they fry in the sunlight. I hope you'll forgive me." She also hoped he would catch her second apology. She hated dismissing him like this.

She wasn't sure anymore if she were still trying to get him to leave or if she was genuinely sorry for disrupting his work schedule. She supposed it must have been a combination of the two, as she was beginning to feel the guilt when Hamfast, being a sharp hobbit and having caught her apology, assured her, "Oh, it's no trouble at all. Makes the job more entertaining, and I love helping folk. Really, I didn't mind the company. But she is right, Mr. Bilbo. I should get started on today's _watering_." He winked to drive the point home to her, though if Bilbo caught it, he made no mention. "I hope you both have a lovely visit."

With that, Hamfast Gamgee gently lumbered away, as only a Gamgee could, and left his employer and guest to their business, wondering when he would next chat with the silly human girl.

As Hamfast walked away, Georgiana turned back to examine Bilbo Baggins of Bag End. He was exactly as she had hoped. Average height for a hobbit, with a kindly smiling face, intelligent blue eyes, curly blonde hair and two hands resting in the green pockets of his waistcoat. She was ecstatic to be introduced to the gentle warmth this hobbit gifted to her.

Bilbo smiled at Georgiana, one that birthed such a profound relief from Georgiana (both for his being happy enough to smile after the Battle of Five Armies and because it reminded her of one of her mother's smiles. One she had forgotten about, that welcomed her home. She wondered how he could do this. Hobbits must be magical folk, indeed) that she had to check her water-swelling eyes, lest they distress Bilbo. _I really am being too emotional. _Then, he bid her welcome into his home, saying, "Well then, I believe it should be about tea time now. I'll put a kettle on and you can tell me about how you came to know the Baggins family."

She returned a small smile gratefully, "Tea sounds wonderful right now. I've had quite the day already and I'm sure you'll be eager to hear about it."

"Of course. Come in, come in!", Bilbo said courteously, then pointing to a chair in the study,"Have a seat over there and I'll make us both some tea. How do you take your tea?"

"Three sugars and a dash of milk, please, Mr. Baggins.", Georgiana honestly couldn't wait to sample a Hobbit-made beverage. This was all surreal. Bilbo nodded at her and was off, humming the Green Dragon pub song from the Fellowship of the Ring. She was floored by the simple joy she found through being in Bag End. She just spoke to THE Bilbo Baggins! But what was she doing just standing around like a piece of furniture? She should explore while she had the chance!

She started with smell, closing her eyes and inhaling deeply, she noticed first the scent of parchment and ink, quickly followed by the comforting scent of slightly dusty chairs, the smoky remnants of last night's fire and, though she would argue her nose was too weak, she thought she could smell some of the flowers from the garden. Opening her eyes, she walked closer to the kitchen, she could smell, and hear, the tea brewing in the kettle. She heard and then saw Bilbo puttering about his kitchen, muttering about finding snacks. Georgiana hadn't allowed herself to acknowledge how lonely she had gotten in the past year, but was greatly enjoying the sounds of an inhabited home now. She wondered if he would really bring snacks or the beginnings of another meal. Turning back around, she spotted a few shelves and decided to snoop a bit. She was not disappointed by the knickknacks and books she found, many of them relating to gardening or housekeeping, but a few were what she believed may be elvish storybooks. Gently taking a nice, leather bound book with a green cover and gold writing, she wandered back to the chair Bilbo pointed at earlier.

Her curiosity got the better of her and soon she was on the floor beside her chair nosing through the book. It smelled nice, not like it had been left on the shelf for too long and forgotten, but not brand new either. It was very enjoyable. What she found more enjoyable was a picture she drawn in the tome. She hadn't even bothered to look at the text before she lightly flipped through the pages to find pictures, figuring she could read about it once she returned home, while this might be her only chance to see depictions of Middle Earth.

The first she saw, towards the back, was of what she could only guess was Rivendell. It looked like it was lightly painted in, but could anyone really paint such rich colors and not bleed through the page? The main structure that was the focus, was exemplar of the wonders of Elvish architecture, with details she only dreamed of one day seeing. Behind the buildings, were trees and waterfalls of the richest greens and blues she had ever seen. She didn't want to touch it for fear that the oils from her fingers would damage its beauty. She read the inscription on the bottom and found that the book named the portrait, The Last Homely House. She guessed that answered her question of language. If she could read it as English, then it was probably the common tongue. What was it called here? Westron, her brain supplied.

She was interrupted from exploring the book further from the light throat clearing she hear from the doorway. Quite embarrassed that she was caught routing through her hosts belongings, even if he probably would have let her if she asked, she stuck to her deserved guilt. She _didn't_ ask first and her host was now standing there holding a tea tray with what smelled like paradise and a raised eyebrow.

As is common in the thought processes of the mortified, her thoughts skipped over rational apology in favor of Worst-Case scenarios.

_What have I done? He could kick me out for this! He'd have every right, I was raised better than this! He won't help me now that I'm a proven heathen. I'll be out of her faster than I can blink! I'll have to survive in the wild, then I won't find Gandalf and I'll never get home and they'll write ghost stories about the crazed human running amok in Farmer Maggot's fields. Then, Merry and Pippin will be too scared to sneak mushrooms! They'll end up perfect rule-followers who'll never help with the War of the Ring! I just destroyed the timeline with my_ curiosity...Her self-reprimanding thoughts sped through her head like an irrational fire, burning through her head to alight her face from hairline to neck. She didn't think she could get more chagrinned. Then she remembered she was still only in her pajamas.

As per her usual upon guilt-tripping, her first instinct was to apologize. Profusely.

"Mr. Baggins! I'm so sorry, I should have asked first- it was awfully rude of me to just- and I know you probably don't want to hear excuses for rude behavior, but your home is just so different than mine! (Not bad different! In any way!) But curious and wonderful and so completely new to me and I know I shouldn't have, but I couldn't seem to..._stop_ myself from finding a book to look at while you were in the kitchen! Now that I think about it, I really should have offered to help- which is also rude of me! And I'm really sorry, Mr. Baggins. I didn't mean to go through your things, I just wanted to go through your books. Er, I meant that I, well, actually that's pretty much exactly what I meant, but I'm still really sorry for being so nosy! Is there anything I can do to make it up to you? I mean…"

Quite without meaning to(though, had she bothered to notice, also quite normal for her), Georgiana made Bilbo Baggins feel so sorry for startling her into a ramble, that he cut her off with a sharp hand through the air and a few coughs.

"It's alright! It's fine! Nothing happened, you were just looking at a book about", here he ducked his head to peak at the title, "Historical Locations of Middle Earth." He cocked his head, considering, "Actually, that was my mother's favorite book, mine too, really. She would ask me to turn to a page and we would study the location and the people who lived there for days. I'm glad it was pulled off the shelf today."

Oh, well thank you for being so kind about it, but I really am sorry. Is there anything I can do while we get settled in for tea?", she asked gratefully. Bilbo helped, but she still felt very humbled by her rudeness.

"It's really no trouble. Let's just sit and talk now. I have a feeling I'm in for a very good story.", he gestured for her to take her seat and then handed her tea. She sipped and almost moaned at the taste. She had never been one to moan and groan at the tastes of things, but she may just start with Bilbo's tea! As he got comfortable in his seat, she began her explanation.

She cleared her throat a bit and began, "First, let me just thank you for welcoming me into your home. It really is spectacular to be here." At this Bilbo moved to speak, but was stopped by Georgiana's hand. "Really, it is spectacular and I think you should know why I think so. I don't want to lie to you, Mr. Baggins", here he interjected, "Bilbo, please."

Her head bobbed in acceptance. "Alright, then you should call me Georgie.", she requested. He nodded back and she continued, "As I was saying, Bilbo, I don't want to lie to you. Not only do I think anything I could say to cover up the strange circumstances of my visit would be absolutely ridiculous, I respect you enough to not want to lie to your face. I woke up in a field in the Shire today and I have no idea how I came to be there. I was really lucky when I ran into Mr. Gamgee, but to be honest, I still thought I was dreaming! I'm in my pajamas and everything!"

"I was wondering why you were in silk trousers.", Bilbo added sheepishly.

Georgie smiled warmly at that and replied, "I was a bit shocked this morning, but I have to say, Shire grass is very comfortable!" They chuckled at her statement and she went on, "I thought I was dreaming and to test it, I tried talking to the first hobbit I saw, Mr. Gamgee. It was a huge relief to hear his name, let me tell you! I knew already that he worked for you, so I asked him to take me to see you. I feel bad about it, but I did lie to him a bit when I told him why I wanted to meet you. I said my mother wanted me to visit you, but I highly doubt you've ever even heard of my mom, much less known her well enough to accept visits from her family!" She smiled at her private joke and continued, "I panicked though, and thought you'd be just the right person to help me, if you wouldn't mind?" She stopped talking to hear his response, but he only gestured for her to continue.

"I have no idea what year it is, how I got to be in the Shire, who can help me or any other important thing I should know before traveling to an unfamiliar place. You were the first person I thought of who could help me. Bilbo, it's awful of me to even ask this, especially since we only just met half an hour ago, but do you have any suggestions for where I could stay until I figure something out? I'm not from around here and I don't know how long I'll be forced to stay, but I'd like to get a job and work while I figure things out. I was wondering if you would ever consider hiring me as a temporary live-in maid?", she gulped for air upon finishing her request. Bilbo noticed she talked faster and faster the farther she went.

Bilbo thought for a few ticks of a nearby clock. It felt like an eternity to Georgie. He did have a spare room that he could lend her, but did he really want a stranger in the house? She seemed friendly enough, and she had slightly better than passable manners, so she must have been raised well. But she was so young! What would she do with her time, even if he did hire her as a maid?

Bilbo realized with pink cheeks that he must have voiced his last thought, as she replied readily, "I can't cook very well without recipes and even then my kitchen skills are barely passable, but I can clean like nobody's business! I can clean, straighten up and organize little places that you may not have the time to, or I could run errands for you!" Bilbo wondered how he didn't notice her get up when she began pacing in front of him.

"I could do odd jobs for you around the house, I'm no slouch with hands-on chores. You wouldn't even need to pay me if you didn't want to! Just let me stay in your spare room and work to earn my keep.", she turned to him pleading.

"No, no. If I hired you I'd need to pay you, that's honest after all. And besides, you'd need money for suitable clothes.", he stopped and glanced at her attire, "You can't just go running about in your nightclothes. It's indecent!"

Before he could go on, Georgie interrupted, "Well, maybe I could rent your spare room and find a job in Hobbiton! I'm not a good cook, but I could work for the local apothecary, or maybe seamstress or grocers?"

Her words were rapid with excitement and nerves at this point. As her words flew, so, too, did her hands. The way she flapped about startled Bilbo a bit.

"Oooh! Does Hobbiton have a blacksmith? I could work for them, it would be fun! And I could pay you for allowing me room and board. Please, Mr. Bilbo, I don't know where else I could stay.", she finished soberly.

Bilbo sighed long-sufferingly and finally nodded his acceptance, "Alright, you can stay at Bag End for a few days, or however long you think you'll need. You don't need to pay rent. But you should get a job in town." He looked at her sternly, "It would give you some money to buy your, erm", his cheeks colored lightly, " essentials and help you get back on your feet. We can still say you're a visiting family friend, I don't like the idea of giving hobbits like the Sackville-Baggins fuel for their gossip. And I really wouldn't mind a bit of help with the housework." By the end of his terms, he found himself standing in front of the young woman like the proper master of the house he was.

She grinned and grabbed his hand in a firm handshake gladly replying, "Thank you so much, Mr. Bilbo! You won't regret it!"

She stood there beaming like an idiot and debating hugging him just to be thorough for a few moments while he collected himself after her surprise handshake. He wasn't quite sure what to do, but then it occurred to him that she was still in her nightclothes, and that wouldn't do at all!

"Let's get you into some proper clothes and then we'll try to find you a job in Hobbiton. I think I still have some of my mother's old clothes for today. We can always get you some of your own while we're out.", he puttered along with her to the spare room as he spoke. Occasionally stopping and pointing useful things out, like washrooms, linen closets and the cellar. Upon reaching the spare room, he pointed her to the adjacent washroom and bid her wait while he gathered her some clothes.

Left to her thoughts, she wandered around the room, noticing a large bed and adjacent nightstand, a round window, a trunk, a desk and a small wardrobe with drawers on the inside. The room was cozy and made her feel warm. She could see herself falling in love with this room and its simple charms.

She could not, however, see herself enjoying the inescapable silence. She tried thinking of a good humming song and finally decided on a song she learned through a movie she watched with her mom and sister when she was younger. She felt it would be soft enough that she needn't worry about being overheard and the lyrics wouldn't startle anyone if she were.

She began to move a bit, fretting only once that she may be getting too comfortable too quickly. She dismissed the errant thought swiftly, she wouldn't be humming if she were comfortable, "Let me teach you how to dance. Let me lead you to the floor."Here she mimed the action of the lyrics. "Simply, place your hand in mine. And then think of nothing more." She curtsied and placed her hand in that of her gallant imaginary partner before dancing lightly across the floor of the bedroom. "Let the music cast its spell, give the atmosphere a chance. Simply, follow where I lead, Let me teach you how to dance." As she didn't want the music to end, but had no more lyrics to offer, she hummed the notes to I Know You from Sleeping Beauty as she made her way over to the washroom.

She was still humming as she looked at her face in the mirror. She was a bit dirty, with dirt spots on her nose and left side of her face, shaggy looking, unbrushed hair and green smudges left over from the Shire grass.

She had just finished washing her face with some delightful flower soap she found when she heard Bilbo returning with the replacement clothes.

She had to grin at the sight of the small man with arms full of women's clothes. He had all the trimmings, too! She spotted a corset, petticoat, slip, overdress and even a few ribbons, all of which he threw onto the bed as if the weight of it was too much to bear any longer. It made for a very fond memory, if she did say so.

"I don't think I've ever seen so much material for one outfit, Bilbo!", Bilbo eyed her questioningly. Weren't these the usual trimmings for womenfolk? He shook his head, dispelling the thought. "Thank you for letting me borrow these. I just hope everything fits!"

"Yes, well, I'll leave you to it. I'll be in the study when you're finished.", Bilbo hastily made his exit.

Once the door shut, Georgie began examining the outfit. She separated the different parts on the bed, from skirts to tops and then ribbons. Before anything, she found a brush and fixed her hair into a nice braid, tied at the end with a green ribbon. She hoped it would hold. It was very wild hair, after all. Next she settled into her skirts and underthings. The petticoat first, then the slip and then, after stowing her bra in a dresser drawer, she tried the corset. It was a strange thing, as she was worried it wouldn't close around her waist. While hobbits weren't stick figured for their sizes, they were still significantly smaller than she, and she wasn't flimsily built either. But after much twisting and buttoning, she managed to settle the rich green corset. It was actually pretty comfortable. On came the pink polka dotted skirt next. On a hobbit, the skirt couldn't ended mid calf, and Bilbo's mother, Belladonna, seemed to be a taller hobbit by her clothes, but the skirt ended just below the knee on her. She wormed her way into the jacket that finished the outfit last.

When she finished, she looked into the mirror and saw a very different version of herself than she was used to. No longer was she a, slightly grungy, young woman with bushy hair and a goofy t-shirt. Now she was a clean, proper-ish looking young woman with still-bushy hair in hobbit attire.

She made her way to the study and found Bilbo pouring over the book that had started her first ramble of the morning. She bet it held wonderful memories for him, she would ask more about it later. When he noticed her walk in, he glanced at her approvingly and stated, "Hobbit fashion suits you. Now let's hope it suits you well enough to get you a job!" And they were off.


	3. Preparations

That first morning was very informative for Georgiana. She learned all about different family traits of certain clans of hobbits, such as Tookish 'foolishness' and the 'respectable nature' of Bagginses. She learned about the customs and expectations of polite hobbit society. She learned who was best to go to for which favors, and who to avoid altogether. She learned about popular entertainment venues and where to get the best beer after a long day- unsurprisingly, it was the Green Dragon. But one of the most important things she learned that day was the date.

She had arrived in early April of the year 2941. This would have been very helpful information to Georgiana, had she bothered to memorize the chronological order of events from the book or movie. It would have told her everything she needed to know about where Bilbo was in his timeline, who she could talk about in front of him, and who she could expect to see later. As it was, she had no idea that she was only a rough three weeks early for the Unexpected Party, which would change the life of Bilbo Baggins, and unexpectedly, Georgiana Chavez.

As she would reflect later, perhaps it was for the best that she spent so long in Hobbiton with Bilbo. That morning, Bilbo found her a nice job working for the local apothecary. Georgiana couldn't believe her luck that the old hobbit running the shop happened to be the only one in town that was hiring. Her job would allow her the skills to make her own poultices, burn creams, medicines and, what she figured was unquestionably more important in life, hygiene products.

Georgiana had a particular addiction to smelling nice and feeling clean. She would assure you that she loved getting her hands dirty as much as any rascally boy, but there was something tremendous about being clean. It was probably her favorite thing about life after being alive, books, food and bedthings. At home, she had several different lotions, body washes, soaps, shampoos and cream rinses and perfumes which she would wear only according to her mood and her current whims. As she wanted her body to smell nice, she was doubly aware of the state of her mouth. She hated feeling the fuzzy bits that grew on teeth so she would spend more time brushing than what was normal. Occasionally, she would forget herself, or read, while brushing her teeth and notice she had been brushing for almost half an hour!

It could not be denied that she loved hygiene products. Therefore, her job at the local Apothecary was a godsend.

Under the tutelage of Mr. Marcho Lightfoot, evidently a distant relative of the Bolger family, she created her own flowery soaps, (her favorite being rose and Iris), deodorant, body sprays, perfumes, hair washes and dental pastes. It was living the dream.

Perhaps more usefully, Mr. Lightfoot taught her how to make medicinal creams and potions out of common wild plants for almost any injury one could acquire on an extended journey. She figured out on her own how to scent these journey essentials. This would prove exceptionally handy in the coming months, as she would be able to treat the minor cuts, bruises and general discomforts of her favorite company of dwarrow, without suffering through the putrid smell of the medicines.

Georgiana worked for Mr. Lightfoot every day, excepting Sundays, from eight in the morning to anywhere from three in the afternoon to five, depending on how many customers needed servicing and how well stocked the shop was for that day. After work, she would walk home to Bag End, often carrying little bottles of lotion or perfumes for Bilbo (and herself) to enjoy. She would help Bilbo with whatever chores he needed completing. After housework, which usually consisted of running for ingredients or cleaning up after Bilbo's almost constant cooking, the two would spend the evening in Bilbo's study pouring over whichever books struck their fancies.

Bilbo usually sat in his chair, while Georgiana would arrange herself into whichever 'reading position' she felt most comfortable with at the time. This position could be anything from lying flat on the floor with her feet on the wall by the fireplace, to curled up like a sitting cat, shins and elbows, in front of the fireplace to sitting normally on a newly cleared window ledge with her back to the wall. Bilbo found endless amusement teasing her about these.

Georgiana very much enjoyed her new routine of creating, cleaning and learning. In the first week alone, she discovered how to make her own laundry detergent and dish soap, which books were the best out of Bilbo's collection and, most importantly, that Bilbo Baggins was not yet a burglar.

She noticed little things about her hobbit friend that were decidedly not characteristic of The Mad Baggins or even remotely adventurous.

One of the first things she noticed was that he never left the house without a jacket and his handkerchief. When she had watched the film years ago, she had laughed at what she saw a comical exaggeration of his character, but was astounded to see it was one of his most prominent habits. He took his handkerchief everywhere. If he was going to inspect his garden or chat with Hamfast, he brought his handkerchief. If he visited a relative, his handkerchief was firmly in his pocket. If he went shopping, unsurprisingly, going also was the monogrammed cloth. Sometimes she joked, to herself, that he probably slept with the annoying fabric.

Next, she noted that he was very particular about the knickknacks inside his home. She once forgot to return a potted plant to its position on the mantle after she dusted and as soon as Bilbo came home, he noticed the difference and searched the house! His possession awareness, as he had deemed it, did come in handy on occasion. She had the habit of losing her belongings, from hairbrushes to shoes and he could always tell her exactly where they were, sometimes he could even tell her when she 'misplaced' them. Sometimes she wondered if it was a hobbit thing, or just a Bilbo thing.

Lastly, she noticed that he became very irritable whenever he had to miss a meal. (This she learned the hard way when the two had been touring the Shire one day and forgot to stop for food. She still shuddered to think of the hilarious terror he had become in his hunger that day.) She worried that he would be insufferable during the journey ahead and prayed for the sanity of the dwarrow and herself. She had the feeling poor Bilbo would soon get used to missing most of the meals in a hobbit's schedule.

But, just like she noticed his somewhat conservative side, she took happy note of his more outgoing traits. Few though they were.

Every now and again, she would catch Bilbo rereading his mother's guide to Middle Earth and his discreet sighs of longing. He would sometimes venture with his walking stick to the surrounding woodlands and not return until dark. Scandalously of all, she would spot him experimenting with recipes his relatives would gift him. It wasn't very exciting, but it was a start.

After she had determined Bilbo's timeline during the first week, she began preparing for the upcoming adventure. She could remember that it began sometime in the Spring, but more details escaped her, so she figured she should prepare for anything.

She began her preparation with the essentials. Clothing.

Upon receiving her first payment from Mr. Lightfoot, Georgiana bought herself some 'specialty clothing' from the nearby seamstress. These clothes were quite remarkable for the older she-hobbit, but boringly ordinary to Georgiana. She went into the shop on her first day off, requested a fitted longsleeved shirt, a sports bra (which she had the least trouble explaining to the seamstress hobbit, strangely enough), three sets of thick cotton socks (two pairs that were long and one shorter for the beginning of the journey), seven sets of underwear (bikini to boyshorts. It was, in Georgiana's humble opinion, one of her more brilliant thoughts, but also her most embarrassing.) and four sets of pants.

For the pants, she asked the seamstress to craft her 'trousers' in a man's style with the sturdiest, most flexible material she had. The result were dark blue, somewhat fitted pants (the crafter refused to leave such 'shapeless' clothing on a woman, no matter how strange the woman) that hugged her legs from wide hips to ankles, stopped right under her belly button and allowed her flexible movement. They reminded Georgiana of her favorite pair of jeans back home. One of the pairs of pants were what the seamstress called travel leggings. They were dark green, fitted like some of the leggings her sister would were and made her feel like Legolas. She had experimented with this set in shop, to the amusement of the seamstress, and found that she could move her legs in virtually any position and the pants would hold fast. She was very pleased. The next pair were slightly thinner than the previous pairs, made for travel during the summer months. They were made of a light canvas material and dyed a lovely shade of maroon, much like her pajamas from the first day. Luckily, this pair would double as pajama bottoms should she need them. The last pair of pants strictly work pants for her time in the Shire. They almost perfectly matched Bilbo's own pants, ending midcalf and baggy enough to do almost anything.

Deciding she should probably get some Middle Earth looking clothes, too, she bought herself a nice, human-sized hobbit dress. It came with a white, billowing cotton top, much like what any woman of the Shire would wear, with baggy sleeves that ended in a ruffle just past her elbows and a drawstring around the collar. The shirt was probably her favorite purchase, as it made her feel truly like she belonged in Middle Earth. Also it had gold detailing and looked like something Frodo would later wear. The bodice of the dress was a rich, emerald green, underbust brocade that doubled as a corset, closing at the front with small black buttons and connecting to the style of the top with the same golden filigree. What she especially liked about this piece of the outfit was that it looked like a green, female version of Bilbo's golden waistcoat. The skirt was a fluttering, ruffled mess of white cotton, cinched at the waist and flowing down to a few inches above her ankles.

Going with the Middle Earth theme, she decided to buy two longsleeved tunics, one Durin blue (she felt cheeky that day) and the other a darker version of Shire green. She figured if anybody caught on to her little joke, she could get a hearty laugh out of it. A travel cloak in such a dark green it was almost black, with hood, also may become useful, though she only ordered it as a back up.

Leaving the slightly dumbfounded seamstress that day, she headed to a leather working shop and ordered a few more things. These included a pair of black, elbow length gloves, a matching belt (she never knew if it would be useful, but in a pinch it could be used as spare rope), a simple black jerkin, a dagger holster that strapped to her calf and a pair of simple ankle high brown boots for the Shire. Later that week, she went back and order another, sturdier pair of boots. She tended to favor this pair, as they were coal black, knee high with a folded top, just like pirate boots and silver buckles with thick soles and room for cotton padding inside. They were twice as durable as any tennis shoes she'd ever had and allowed just as much motion.

After she ordered her second pair of boots and had walked out of the shop, Georgiana stopped short, thought a moment and went right back inside to buy Bilbo his own leather jerkin. She figured if she could benefit from staying dry and relatively non windblown, the hobbit would appreciate it all the more.

After purchasing all of her adventuring attire, she tried looking around the market for things like travel packs, feminine products (enough to last the entire summer if it came down to that, though she hoped it wouldn't) a bed roll for herself and Bilbo, two canteens, a toiletry bag and a small medical emergency bag. Her travel packs were slightly larger than her old backpack, made of green canvas and full of pockets and compartments, finished with two adjustable leather shoulder straps. One for her. One for Bilbo. She doubted her friend had any truly useful supplies in Bag End stowed away.

Before she left the market, she also stopped to buy a cheap canvas bag hanging from a sturdy length of soft leather. She would put her necklace in this bag for the duration of the journey, as she worried that the simple gold chain, delicate that she knew it to be, would snap and she would lose every charm that she valued above her other possessions. She wondered if Bilbo had anything small he wanted to take, but wouldn't want lost. She remembered the Ring and the acorn. She bought him a cloth bag necklace.

She returned to Bag End from her supply runs that week feeling exceedingly contented, prepared and impressed. The hobbits she had ordered from had all fulfilled her orders within days and with boastworthy quality. She ignored the fact that she exterminated any funds she had after every trip, though thanked her suppliers for giving her the discounts and price cuts they had. Hobbits were kind folk and they always took care of their own. Even if she had only just arrived. Besides, as far as funds were concerned, she could always grab a coin purse at Troll Shaw when that came to pass.

Thus, her second week in the Shire passed and the third began. At this point, Georgiana was starting to feel the nerves and apprehension that came right before any important transition. Along with the nervousness and the cold fire of worry that was slowly growing in her, came thoughts about her situation.

Inspite of how much she enjoyed living with Bilbo Baggins, Georgiana couldn't help but to worry about her presence in the Shire. Would Gandalf visit this year or in ten? Could the wandering wizard even help her get home? Would he, if she asked nicely? Should she really try to tag along on the journey? How would she convince Thorin to let her come? Could she change anything, or that damn the result of the adventure? Would she change anything?

After much contemplation, she decided that, yes. If she went on the journey, she would help the company, though she conceded it would mostly be Bilbo, in any ways she could. But especially concerning the Death of the Line of Durin. She would not relive that torment. Come Hell or high water.

But, when she had finished her pondering over the quest and thought about her home, she considered all that she would find waiting for her. Would she return to the night she left? Would time move as it did in Middle Earth? If so, boy was she in trouble! Would she tell her siblings about her adventures? Would she ever even see her family again? She prayed that she would. She didn't enjoy thinking about why she wouldn't be able to. However, wishing not to think about something and stopping oneself from thinking about something are very different. There were some days when her only thoughts revolved around what could have sent her to Tolkien's world. Was she comatose from some strange accident, like she had read many a time in her fanfictions? If so, did this mean she was actually living a dream? That would be cool if not for the petrifying fear that if she were comatose, she faced the possibility of not waking up. Would her family pull the plug? She had once told her father that she would prefer that to her family waiting around for her, but she doubted he would. But what if he suddenly decided to respect her medical wishes? She wasn't sure if she would experience death here, but she wasn't eager to find out what would happen! What if she died in Middle Earth? Would she just wake up like nothing had happened?

Georgiana was a woman of logic. Which was why she never considered any supernatural answer to her surprise vacation a possibility. The thought that she could be there without injury to the body she thought she left in her world never even crossed her mind. She figured, she was unconscious and that was that. Sure she would try to enjoy herself, but eventually she was going to wake up. There was no other understandable explanation for her circumstances, though she would question Gandalf thoroughly the first chance she got.

It was with these thoughts that she walked home that afternoon to Bag End on April 26th. Thoughts which were cut short when she noticed the agitated state of her host-hobbit.

Upon entering Bag End and after putting away the soaps and hair washes she had made that day, she went to find Bilbo to see what needed to be done around the smial. She found her favorite hobbit in the kitchen, eating some biscuits agitatedly over the counter. She would have laughed at the picture he made if not for her worry.

"Bilbo, what did the poor biscuits do to you to make you end their lives so...um...well, angrily?", she peered nervously at the hobbit. He seemed quite put upon as he continued glaring at his food, munching with quiet indignance. It seemed her attempt to lighten his mood fell a bit short as he didn't seem to have even heard her, so she began making supper. She had the feeling her host would lighten up a bit with a Shire version of her favorite meal from home, hamburgers. That was a simple enough recipe. Even Georgiana would have trouble mucking it up!

She grabbed her ingredients from the larder and returned as quickly as she could. By that time, Bilbo had gained a little more environmental awareness, though only enough to answer a question she posed ten minutes ago. She cleared her throat to announce her presence.

"The biscuits? No, I'm not angry at biscuits. I'm not even angry. I'm simply...well…" His brow furrowed as he sought the proper word.

"Flustered?", she supplied as she washed the meat and set the skillet and stovetop. She grimaced as she molded the meat into little balls before squishing them and putting them into the skillet.

Bilbo nodded absentmindedly. "Yes, that's it. Flustered. I'm flustered from the visit I received this morning from a confounding, confusticating wizard!", he groused as he stood up from his seat and made his way over to her cooking area.

Bilbo washed up as her eyes widened in surprise and she perked considerably at his words, "Wait, wizard? Which wizard? There are five, I think. The Grey Wizard?" She set out a large plate at the counter Bilbo had just left and found a small spatula to flip the patties. She stopped briefly to tell Bilbo to slice the bread, cheese, tomatoes and onions she had set aside earlier.

"Yes. Gandalf the Grey. He may make the finest fireworks the Shire had ever seen, but he has to be one of the rudest visitors I have ever received! Do you know what he asked me just this morning? He asked if I would go on an adventure with him! As if a respectable Baggins would ever consider such a ridiculous thing!", he grumbled reproachfully, face twisted in distaste as he sliced with enviable expertise.

She should try to sway her friend, after all, he'd be entertaining guests soon, and Bilbo hated looking like an ungracious host.

"Bilbo, maybe a good exciting adventure would do you well. You love reading about far off lands, why not visit yourself? Nothing you read will ever be as good as the real thing, believe me.", she tried hopefully while adding dashes of salt and pepper to the patties (Boy, she could kill for some meat seasoning!). "The Shire is a magical place by itself, but you know more about the Shire than anyone I know. Wouldn't you, of all people, welcome the chance to gain the same knowledge about other places? Other people?", she implored.

Bilbo sent her a withering look at her words, which she returned teasingly and which deepened when she snatched a few slices of his cheese for the browned hamburger patties. "I'm quite content here in Bag End, actually. What would be the point of leaving? What if I don't come back? I have quite a few responsibilities here, you know. All of which would be impossible to do from outside of the Shire.", he reasoned, puffing his chest slightly with contentment for his argument.

"Name one 'responsibility' that Hamfast Gamgee wouldn't handle for you in a heartbeat if you asked.", she requested sternly as she turned to him, hands on hips.

Here Bilbo faltered and she began setting the patties into their breadly homes, "Even if I could arrange for my responsibilities to be taken care of, adventures are the things of fairy tales and children's stories! I'm much too old to partake in one!"

Georgiana recalled the story that got her here in the first place, ironically adding, "You're half right. Adventures are the things of children's stories. And fairy tales. And legends." , she really hoped he was coming around as she asked softly, " Why would you ever throw away the chance to live a legend, Bilbo?"

As she began clearing up, she noticed with relief that his face was a little less pinched by now. And his eyes seemed to be softening with what she thought might have been longing.

He sighed, long and miserably, as he set the table, "But what about you? We don't know how long you'll need to stay here and you'll have nowhere to go if I leave."

At this she smiled warmly, headed to the table and answered, "Well, I would go with you of course! I have my own things now, every essential for an extended adventure. I'd probably even have room for a few luxuries, like soaps and hair things!"

At that, Bilbo blanched. He hadn't considered that he might not be able to bathe regularly while on an adventure. "I'll think about it", he finally acquiesced and they finally ate dinner, which she was incredibly pleased to teach him about with a pride that only came from cooking an appreciated meal. She later wrote the extremely simple recipe for him, putting it in the middle of the counter in case he forgot about hamburgers by the end of the journey.

Georgiana left Bilbo with much to think about that night. She padded back to her room and tried to put together an adventure pack for herself, feeling so smug about her preparedness, a trait her family had often teased her for its absence, that she sang a few songs from her world as she went about completing her task. When she finished she would start on Bilbo's. She only had tonight to do it, tomorrow the hole would be filled with dwarrow and the two wouldn't have a moment to themselves for important things like packing.


	4. A Long-Overdue Unexpected Party

Georgiana woke early the next morning. She wasn't sure how, normally she could sleep like the dead and had to ask Bilbo to wake her for work. But this morning she woke herself up a full hour before she usually did. Maybe it was caused by her inignorable excitement for the day ahead. She wondered if the dwarrow would start coming that afternoon or that evening and several times had to stop herself from singing at such a volume as would awaken the slumbering Bilbo.

She sang and hummed any merry tune that came to her that morning as she got dressed for the day. Later, she would recall fondly how randomly her songs changed, from the opening verse of that Shrek theme ("she was looking kinda dumb with her finger and her thumb, in the shape of an 'L' on her foreheeeead!") to a song she barely remembered from her mother's Motown collection ("I wanna put on, my, my, my, my, my boogie shoes! And boogie with you!").

She wrote Bilbo a brief note for when he finally graced the Shire with his consciousness and gleefully made her way to Mr. Lightfoot's Apothecary. As her songs became raunchier and more outrageous, she determined how she would quit her job and thank the kind shopkeeper for his great help. She also resolved to thank every shopkeeper she had bought supplies from and maybe do a pinch of grocery shopping.

Going about her shopping, she felt more lighthearted than she had in several months. The smiles of sheer pleasure she received while making her rounds of thank-you's and well wishes were enough to leave her grinning for the rest of her day. The added anticipation of meeting the dwarrow and Gandalf gave her the extra bounce needed to sing the sleaziest, most enjoyably scandalous songs she knew.

She was pleased to note that the lyrics for each song came to her easily and choosing which songs to sing after another came to her as gladly as the breath she drew from the fresh Shire air. What was considerably difficult for her, however, was the Herculean effort of reigning in her laughter, from rude guffaws to barely-there chuckles, at the shocked (and somewhat disgusted) faces of the sorry hobbits who happened to overhear her. She also had trouble not making humorously bawdy gestures to accompany her lecherous lyrics. It seemed the lauded wisdom of Aerosmith, ACDC and Adam Lambert were not for the weakly constituted.

She was careful to sing Disney tunes around Hobbitlings, though. She would never disrespect parents in such a way. And it looked like these efforts were noticed if the grateful looks of the parents walking around her were any indication.

Georgiana was still flying on her euphoric buzz as she hefted her meat and vegetable heavy purchases into the pantry for later. By this time, she had settled down. Marginally. And was no longer singing loudly the lyrics of Aerosmith's Big Ten Inch. She had moved on to the seedier tones of Adam Lambert's Trespassing CD, which she was working through in its entirety.

"Baby, I'm on the hunt. Baby, I've got my target on you. Trouble, that's what I want! And I'm gonna do just what I have to!", she hummed as she set the bags of recently purchased meat near the sausage links.

She began to dance a bit as she continued. Nothing outrageous yet, just a simple swaying of hips and neck swivels. "No, I ain't broken but I, I need a fix! That Satisfaction", she simpered seductively to a block of cheese, mocking the many faces of female singers she had seen over the years with the same expressions.

"When I, I get my kicks! I'm up all night, I'm outta sight! Don't turn on turn on the liiiight! 'Cuz I'm feeling so shady lately!", with these lyrics, she grabbed a nearby cheese knife as microphone and used her free hand to mime sightseeing and pulling a lamp cord.

Following the line, she put down the knife and began placing the various vegetables she planned to sneak into the Dwarves' near meal onto shelves, while cheekily continuing, "Come on and, take me underground". She grinned widely, "deep under the street. Come on and, take me, take me out, so freaks like us can meet! Turn it up, turn it up, turn it up". She hopped with every repetition before freezing and bending back with the next line, "Turn it waaaay up! Don't stop the beat! Come on and, turn me, turn me on! 'Cuz I'm feelin' so shady lately!"

By now, she had packed away all of her groceries and decided to look for Bilbo. He couldn't have still been asleep at this hour.

As she completed the thought, still gyrating and singing, turning to exit the pantry, she was startled by the criminally waggish Bilbo, standing in the doorway with crossed arms, a raised eyebrow and a bemused smirk playing on his lips.

She felt her cheeks alight as she attempted to stand proud under the jocund stare of a saucy hobbit. By the growing chuckling she heard in front of her, she determined that she failed and soon after joined him in filling the smial with the chuffed guffaws of the duo.

When at last they had regained themselves, she greeted, "Good morning, Bilbo!"

Bilbo adopted a sage face as he replied in a gruff, deep voice, "Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?"

Georgiana's straight face lasted all of three beats before she cheerfully answered, "All of them at once, I suppose!"

Bilbo shook his head, still giggling, and headed for the kitchen. Halfway there, he threw over his shoulder, "Thanks for shopping, by the way. I thought we were all stocked up, but I suppose you can never have too much food in your larder."

Georgiana didn't bother to smother her shit-eating grin. This would be a marvelous day, she knew it.

Though she was sure the boredom and anticipation currently waging war in her stomach would soon cause her premature death, Georgiana had to be grateful that she at least knew the timeline would follow the movie more closely.

Evening was just dawning from the indigo twilight. The dwarves had missed tea. And luncheon. And mid-afternoon meal. And supper.

Finally, Georgiana got sick of the waiting and leaving poor Bilbo so dreadfully unprepared! After he had polished off his supper, she turned to him and told him he should expect guests around dinnertime. He had spluttered a bit, having forgotten that he had invited Gandalf for tea and not believing that he would be 'so rude' as to bring with him guests. As he started to leave to change into his evening clothes, Georgiana stopped him with a hand on his shoulder and asked, deadpan, if he really wanted to entertain guests in his night robe. He spluttered indignantly, but remained in his casual clothes, leaving Georgiana with nothing to do but think.

She had long ago refused to be excluded from this quest. She would do whatever it took to become an essential. Therefore, she refused to allow herself to craft an explanation for her presence. Not only was she fully prepared to tell the dwarves the entire, undoctored truth, she was planning on scaring them out of their wits, first. It would be fun, she decided. Especially when she got to talk to Gandalf, maybe he would make her speak to the whole company. That could prove unpleasant. Even Bilbo, blessed soul that he was, didn't know the entire truth. She considered him a saint, as after that first day, he never asked her about why she was there. He seemed to enjoy the company, however strange, so much that he would rather forego inquiry in favor of recipe talk and other friendly topics. She was very grateful, but she worried about how he would handle the information.

At last, right as Bilbo was opening his mouth to tease her about her imaginary guests for the upteenth time, they heard a ring at the front doorbell. She turned to shoot him a smug smirk as she shooed his dumbfounded self to answer the door.

As she heard the gruff dwarf's introduction and inquiry about food, she decided how she would meet the first dwarf of the night.

As soon as he walked into the kitchen, Bilbo trailing befuddledly behind, she called loudly and warmly, "Good evening, Master Dwalin!" His eyes snapped from the cookie jar to her in an instant, sharp and wary. The eyes of a seasoned warrior, sat on a hard, no-nonsense face.

Dwalin was, for lack of more fitting terms, stacked. He was a large dwarf, being slightly taller than her, wearing multiple layers of the sturdiest fabrics she had ever seen( lightly styled armor thick enough to prevent damage when fighting, straps and leathers to contain and conceal weapons and furs warm enough to allow for comfortable travel). The clothes on any one else would have added tons of padding to the size of the one wearing them, but on Dwalin, the clothes barely added a thing. He was already a mountain of a dwarf, tall, broad and barrel-chested with nearly every muscle appearing thick and battle-hardened. His body probably reflected well his own personality. Large, battle-hard and _intimidating._

She experienced the full force of his talent for intimidation after her greeting. His eyes boring into her for answers.

She continued as she would've with an old friend, trying to remain unfazed by the sharp glare she was receiving, "I trust the journey from Ered Luin was well? Nothing too harsh? Then again, being perhaps the toughest dwarf in the Blue Mountains must have its perks sometimes, right?" She trailed off with weak flattery (she knew it would be a long shot. In the dark. With a blindfold. Spinning.), her confidence dying at the quick angry steps of the dwarf now looming over her. Maybe this was the wrong way to introduce herself.

Bilbo looked confused, "I'm sorry, do you two know each other?"

His answer came in the squeeked, "Not exactly" from Georgiana and a spat, "No." from Dwalin.

Dwalin had just opened his mouth to demand an answer from her, when the trio froze at the sound of the door ringing again.

"That'll be your older brother, Balin, then, Dwalin. I bet you'll be happy to see him again!", she offered placatingly. She received another glare for her troubles and before he could shout a word she had steamrolled through to Bilbo, who was now standing frozen in shock, "Bilbo, I'll get the door. Don't be too shocked when they knock their heads together. I think it's just a dwarf thing." With that, she scrambled away as the door rung a second time, "BE RIGHT THERE, MASTER BALIN!"

She threw the door open to see the perplexed face of the elderly dwarf, hand raised to pull the cord a third time. "Come right inside, Mr. Balin! I'm sure your journey has been strenuous at best and miserable at worst. Bilbo won't mind, just drop your weapons on the trunk, please, he doesn't appreciate surprise guests very much, though he does love manners. Try to keep courteous to him, please. I'll be right back with the ingredients for dinner. Your younger brother is in the kitchen waiting for you (and probably the chance to slit my throat), so just walk through the study and there you'll be!"

Balin was still feeling quite perplexed as she continued rambling with a speed any Durin would envy. He had begun following her instructions as she spoke, trying desperately to keep up with her rapidfire words, when she turned around and shouted, "BILBO, I'M JUST IN THE PANTRY GETTING THE FOOD. START CLEARING THE COUNTER AND TURN ON THE STOVE, PLEASE" before flouncing away, leaving him to find his brother and the master of the house.

When she reached the pantry, she made her way to the back, behind a large shelf and thought about how she was going to go about this. Finally, she reasoned to herself that prevaricating an explanation now would be pointless and, no matter how unwise it may feel, perhaps the only thing to do would be to let herself react naturally. If she made no effort to doctor her responses to the dwarves, perhaps they would recognize the honesty behind the insanity. It was worth a shot. It was her tried and true method for handling uncomfortable situations as it forced her to deal with her problems instead of thinking up crazy solutions that caused more damage later. When she over thought, she lied or tried to manipulate the situation into a better one. She knew that she couldn't allow herself to be so dishonest with the dwarves. No matter how uncomfortable this may get, she chose, in that moment behind the bread, to stop thinking and go on instinct, scolding herself for hiding like a child in the first place. _If you aren't brave enough to meet the dwarves you already love, you have no right to even ask to go on this quest.", s_he thought with a frown_. _Before grabbing the supplies for hamburgers and stew, she said a quick silent prayer that this wouldn't all blow up in her face. Or if it did, that it wouldn't be as unbearable as she was thinking it might be.

Upon returning to the kitchen, Georgiana found Dwalin and Balin in deep conversation off to the left and Bilbo staring confusedly at the lit stove top. She wordlessly marched to the sink and washed her hands and some of the ingredients. Once that was finished, she pulled Bilbo to her side and showed him how she wanted the patties made. Then she told him how to season them using salt, pepper, lemon shavings and dried, crushed greens (like parsley). At this point, she gave up ignoring the two dwarves in the kitchen and glanced over, only to find them staring right back. Dwalin with a suspicious glare and Balin with curiosity.

She took a moment to strengthen her resolve before ordering them to set the table with any chairs, plates, utensils and especially napkins they could find. When they just stood there staring for another moment she gave up patience and called, "Now, please!" It seemed to get them moving.

Bilbo was now making the first set of hamburger patties with no trouble, so she filled a pot and set it to boil. Just in time, too. As soon as she set the pot on the stove, the door rang twice. All of the kitchen's occupants looked up, but only one had a look of disbelieving, paralyzing and reluctant joy on their face, as if they had only just realized that the best thing that could ever happen to them just did. This confused the naturally born inhabitants of Middle Earth. Why should this strange human girl get such a look from a doorbell?, was the thought of the white-bearded. That's...peculiar, thought the smallest. What does she know?, was the thought of the burliest.

Yet the only thought that dared pass through the head of Georgiana Chavez upon hearing the third ring that night was, "Holy shit! Are they really here?!" Coincidentally, she said this aloud at the same time she tried to tell Bilbo that she would get the door. This mess of sounds was hard to decipher for the not-yet burglar, coming out as more of a prolonged scream, especially when most of her speech was drowned by the desperate thunking of her shoes on his hard floors as she sprinted to the door.

* * *

><p>Fili Durin and his younger brother, Kili, were exhausted. They had spent the past few weeks of their lives traipsing through wilderness all the way from Ered Luin just to meet this hobbit creature, Mr. Baggins. (Kili still had trouble remembering the name, much to Fili's amusement.) According to Gandalf, though whether Fili trusted the wizard was still being decided, Baggins was a dependable, trustworthy, and most of all, skilled burglar. Soon to be the Company's burglar. At least, once his Uncle Thorin had a company. So far, this quest was a bit hazy on little details like who, when and, Valar forfend, <em>how<em> this company would reclaim the last Dwarven kingdom of Erebor.

But Fili was being far too cynical about the whole thing. He really was looking forward to this expedition to the motherland. All his life, he and his brother had been raised with tales of the great kingdom, how could he not be excited about being a part of the reclaiming company? If they succeeded, every name would become legend. Songs and epics and art would be crafted to commemorate their glory. If they failed, they would become martyrs. Still exalted, just more dead than otherwise. Small thing. Really.

"Brother, stop thinking so loudly. We need to find this house...hill...hole. We can't do that if one of us has left his head behind with Mother.", admonished Kili with a parody of their uncle's trademark scowl.

Fili punched him lightly in the shoulder, "At least I have thoughts in my head. What must it be like, Brother dear, letting your stomach think where your head should?" Fili grinned as Kili grumpily marched forward on the path, having not been able to come up with a rejoinder.

As the pair continued walking uphill on the simple dirt path, passing manicured flower gardens and warmly lit, round windows, they began to smell meat cooking. It was very strange, Fili didn't believe he had ever smelled something similar (being accustomed to smelling meat cooking plainly rather than with seasoning, meat was sometimes hard enough to pay for, much less with expensive seasoning salts and the like). Judging by the grin on Kili's face, they were in agreement that it smelled wonderful, but Fili was having the hardest time placing the flavors that wafted down the round from the top of the hill.

"Kee, what does Uncle always tell us about getting lost?", Fili asked with an encouraging smile and raised brows.

"Um, run away from anything that could eat you?"

Fili smacked him behind the head, "No, you dolt. Follow your nose." The brothers shared matching grins when Kili finally understood what his brother was getting at.

"Well, then. For what are we waiting, Brother? Food, coupled with a Hobbit home results in a comfortable night's rest. Maybe even under a roof! Hurry!", Kili declared, becoming increasingly excited at the prospect of food.

Fili would have been equally enticed, had his brother given him time to respond before dragging him to the round, green door in the middle of a hill. It was strange to Fili. Were these hobbit-creatures descendants from moles or another underground species? Maybe they were more humanoid. Long distant descendants of dwarves, perhaps?

He didn't ponder long when his brother rang the doorbell twice. All of a sudden, the brothers heard a somewhat manic screech and the thudding of boots to floor heading in their directions. They shared an uncomfortable look at this. Maybe hobbits were more wild than their gardens suggested?

The thudding stopped and they heard the brief sound of someone catching their breath. The two had a moment to straighten themselves and try to appear friendly when the door was thrown open and they finally saw their host.

She was a human female. Of that he was sure. She had characteristic human traits; taller height, though she looked like she would be shorter than Thorin, and bigger build. Yet, she also could pass as a dwarf if that was what she wished.

Fili could see that she was no waifish human wench by the shape of her body, though she was by no means plump. The first thing Fili noticed, after the somewhat rapid rise and fall of her chest for want of air, was that she was sturdy looking. This sturdiness, however subtle, was plainly visible in her broad shoulders, strong, slightly curved waist, and full hips that tapered only slightly into mildly rounded calves. She reminded him of dwarrowdam shieldmaidens in training. He could see the potential behind slightly soft arms and legs. These places would define themselves in a matter of weeks should she journey by herself in the wild. He was sure. The physical durability he saw in her reminded him greatly of his mother, Dis.

Then, Fili noticed the long, wild locks on the woman! He knew human woman wore their hair long, typically unbraided, but this lass had curls like he had never seen in his experience. (To be fair, Fili and Kili had only passingly seen the locks of Northern human women, which was often slightly limp and brushed out, and had no idea if Gondorian or Rhovanion women had curls.) And in such strange colors. Not only was her hair long enough to reach the top of her lower back, it was so wildly curly that for a second, her worried Kili might try to test the curls like one of the more delicate springs from the forge. He thought he saw Kili reach forward a bit before catching himself.

The color of her hair also struck him. From the scalp, her hair began as a color slightly lighter than Kili's, then as the locks grew out, the color reddened, still with strands of darker hair from the bottom layer. At the very tips her hair lightened to a shade a little more red and less blonde than Fili's own locks! The light from behind her changed the color of her hair even more, adding a soft yellow tint around the edges. How this woman could have hair so...indecisive was a mystery.

After noticing her hair, Fili's mind registered the woman's face. Clean brown eyebrows, a round nose, slightly wide, full lips(which not only looked red from over-biting but were opening into a grin of wonderstruck joy), and enormous, expressive green eyes. Also remarkable for the dual colors contained within. There was a fine layer of gold circling the pupils that reminded Fili of a gold chain, or sunflower, and the background layer of color a shifting dark grey-green.

Fili made all of his observations within a second. The exact amount of time for the mystery woman to bound out of the doorway, leap at the stunned Durin brothers and call their names with a peculiar combination of a joyful shout and a relieved sigh. He could only liken her voice to sounding as if she had recently found family back from the dead! He was surprised by the brief pride he felt that she called his name first.

"I'm so incredibly...happy that you both are safe! I was so worried! I...I… I wasn't sure what I'd do if you weren't here, hale and whole and looking so...blessedly beautiful!", she whispered into the space between the brothers' inner ears. It made Fili shiver a bit, while Kili looked at the woman, bewildered. Fili had to stop himself from preening when it registered that she had called them beautiful. Kili was about to open his mouth when she unwittingly cut him off, "You have absolutely no idea how relieved I am to see you both. Honestly, I'm shocked I'm not bawling my eyes out as we speak!", the emotional, and perhaps delusional, woman still clutching them, babbled on. Kili caught his brother's eye and glanced at her questioningly, as if to ask, "Why is she still holding us?" Fili looked worriedly at Kili, would this woman weep?

He wasn't sure the line of Durin was brave enough to handle weeping women. Mahal, help them.

Finally, she pulled back from the confused duo and the Durins felt a brief moment of relief.

She launched herself at Kili. Kili, stunned at the action, stayed perfectly still while the woman's wandering hands went from clutching his head like Dis would to frantically padding his upper back and shoulders. Fili watched in amusement as the slightly shaking hands traveled down from startled shoulders to stiff arms before jumping to his chest, right below his neck.

While all of this was occurring, the woman was muttering to herself and sometimes Kili, "I'm so glad you're okay! Oh my God. I never realized you were really this young. I...I'm really, really glad you're alright, Kili Durin. You have a brilliant life to live yet and I swear I will do everything in my power to ensure you don't return to your mother in a casket." Fili didn't quite catch the last utterance, as she was back to hugging Kili at that point and had whimpered her declaration into his opposite ear. Fili did notice how his brother, who had been slowly softening, jerked with wide eyes his attention to the woman's face. He didn't like to think about what could have given Kili the ashen complexion he now sported.

The woman cut off Kili's second attempt at speaking by pulling his face to hers and kissing his cheek as a new mother to her babe, petting his hair as she did so.

The dumbfounded Fili had a moment to catch the bizarre lady as she directed her ministrations toward him. Unlike his brother, Fili had hugged her back, though not as fiercely. His pride once again spiked as she melted into his arms. Perhaps Kili would goad him about that later, but for now he cared not. He reacted on instinct. Instinct had never failed him and this was the perfect time to use it.

Fili noticed another thing about the forward lady that he must have missed when she was mauling Kili. The top of her head only reached the tip of his nose. Her presence must have confused him. She seemed bigger somehow. Similar to how Thorin seemed to fill rooms with his air.

Fili tried to pay attention to her words as she gave him the same treatment as Kili, "He's so damn young, Fili. How do you keep the worry at bay? And you're no better! You're only, what? Five years apart? That's like months to dwarven aging! You're practically twins!"

Fili felt, rather than saw (as Kili did) her grow cold, ferociously growling, "I'd love to see that half-dead, inbred ballsack of decaying Motherfucker genetics fucking try! I'd love to see his attempts now that I'm here. He even steps within a league of you two or Thorin and he'll wish he'd stayed in that shit-heap called Mordor. Gundabad. Who the hell cares. I'll God damned take his other damn arm. And any other body parts that happen to stick out!" With that, she returned to her affectionate fluffing of his person, while the Durin's tried in vain to justify the almost weeping mass of fondness they had seen minutes ago to the murderess she had become in a heartbeat. Valar help the poor sod she had snarled about!

"Oh, Fili. You all are going to be just fine now. I won't let anything happen to you this time.", she promised. He took a moment to enjoy her attention as she kissed his cheeks and fixed his hair. He wondered that he should feel so warm at her presence. Perhaps it was because he was unused to the attention. Yes, that must be it. Then straightening up as if nothing forward or abnormal had occurred, she grabbed the brothers' hands and led them into the hobbit hole, politely giving them instructions on hobbit etiquette.

"Bilbo, that is Mr. Baggins, is very particular about the state of his house. This shouldn't be much of a problem, he's had good food in his belly all day (the moods of hobbits practically depend upon their meals, y'know), but it still wouldn't be a good idea to scrape your boots on that glory box, Kili Durin!", Fili looked to his brother, who he was amused to find had lifted his leg about to scrape. He wondered, as he removed his many weapons and laid them by the door, if anything got past this woman as she shooed Kili outside and told him to scrape on a rock 'or something'.

While the two waited on his childish brother, Fili removed his outer wear. Then, turned to the woman and charmingly said, "Well, Miss. It would seem you practically know our family history, yet we have never met. I think it only fair for me to learn your name, you already know mine." He tried keeping his face as charming as he could, evidently it worked, because she was blushing and stuttering the next moment. He tried not to feel too proud about rendering the fierce woman speechless, instead choosing to relish in his new-found game. It had been a while since he last bandied words with a lady.

"Oh! I'm...um", she blinked. "...my, m-my nnname is George.", at his disbelieving eyebrows she quickly realized and rectified her mistake, "No, wait! That's not totally it, is it? O-of course not. Hum, okay." Suddenly, she thrust out her hand towards him, which he took and she thought he would shake, and proudly declared, "I'm Georgiana Chavez. Definitely pleased to be at your service, Fili Durin."

Fili took one look at her falsely confident posture, the straight, diplomatic posture and deliberately open demeanor, and recognizing the facade for what it was (even without his countless hours of Propriety training at the sadistic hands of Balin, he could spot it in an instant) and chose to tease her a bit.

He guided her hand to his lips, placing a chaste kiss on her knuckles, bowed, and huskily said, "At yours and your family's, milady."

He grinned at her flushed cheeks and, glancing at his returned brother with a mischievous smirk, the two rushed her with the same treatment with which she had bombarded them earlier. The Durins couldn't help but laugh at her gasp of fright and shock.

She quickly joined in their laughter, giggling so boisterously she was heard in the kitchen (This being evidenced with a meek call of, "Georgiana, is everything alright?" Which she fondly affirmed.) Fili and Kili both beamed at the sound. Her laugh was almost manly in its huskiness and volume (almost harsh sounding), yet totally unapologetic. Briefly, Kili was reminded of the dwarrow lads his brother and he had mingled with in their childhood.

Swatting the boys firmly on both of their chests, she grabbed them by their sleeves and led them to the kitchen, muttering about, "If the only thing you two can think of right now is scaring the life outta me, then you'll be helping Bilbo and I in the kitchen!"

She stopped suddenly, "That reminds me, Dwalin and Balin are here. No one else yet, they seem to be running late. Go find them and catch up, I'll get you when I need you, otherwise help them with whatever they ask. Oh, and if they talk about me, tell them to wait for the rest of the company." With that she flounced into the kitchen, to the delight of a man they heard from the hall.

The Durin brothers soon found Dwalin and Balin, greeting them warmly before Kili asked, "So does anyone know about the strange woman who let us in? She scares me a bit."

"Alas, lad. We know as much as you both.", answered a thoughtful Balin. Fili wondered if there would ever be a day Balin wasn't thoughtful.

"I don' trust the lass as far as I could throw her.", barked Dwalin. Fili expected nothing less from the warrior dwarf, but had to rebuff.

He threw in his input, "I really don't think she's out to harm us, Master Dwalin. As soon as she saw us, she embraced us. Much the same way as Mother would, right Kee?"

"Aye, Brother. Though, I was serious about being afraid of her. Any woman who can switch from coddling to vengeful that quickly is a force to be wary of.", Kili tried to brighten the mood. Though Balin's white brows almost reached his hairline and Dwalin was frowning deeply.

"Lad, what are you saying? She acted like a meek little thing upon our...introduction.", Dwalin queried suspiciously.

Fili explained as best he could, "Well, she may have or may not have blubbered at us about how 'happy she is we're both safe', how young-"

"And Beautiful!", Kili piped in.

"Yes, young and beautiful-", grumbled Fili, "-we are and then she froze and started hissing about attacking someone if he tried hurting us."

"Or Uncle Thorin. In fact, she had a few choice, unladylike, words about this thing.", Kili chuckled and shared a humored glance with his brother. "What did she call him, Fee? It escapes me."

Fili rolled his eyes at Kili's dramatics and salaciously explained to the expectant Fundin brothers, "She called it a 'half-dead, inbred ballsack of decaying Motherfucker", here Balin gasped and Dwalin's ears turned pink. Fili finished mimicking, "genetics. She then proceeded to assure me that if he came within a league of Durin's line, she would...Kili, what did she threaten?"

Kili grinned before finishing, "She said she'd 'God-damned take his other damn arm!' and 'any other body parts that stick out!" At this, and the sheer shock on the older two, Fili and Kili burst into robust laughter for the second time that night.

"Why would a young lass ever use words like _tha'?"_, grunted Dwalin quietly to his brother.

"I'm more worried over where she learned those words. For a young lady to speak in such a way...It cannot be good, Brother. We'll have to watch her.", Balin answered just as quietly. Both decided to leave their questions until the time for seeking answers was more prime. Namely, when the entirety of the company finally decided to show up.

The royal youngsters were beginning to calm down when the door rang again.

Fili waited a beat and then heard an exasperated admonishment of, "I don't care if Gandalf emptied the Blue Mountains into your home, Bilbo Baggins! You will be a gracious host to those dwarves if it kills me! Are you a Baggins or a mouse? Because to my knowledge, a Baggins would never allow his guests, surprise or expected, to wait on his stoop all night because he was worried about furniture! Now, go bring the company inside and send the Durins to the kitchen. I think we'll be needing some help with this food if we're going to feed thirteen ravenous dwarves and a smug wizard."

This was followed by the sight of a rapidly scuttling, very pale and very small man. He stopped at the sight of them, before asking, "Did you hear her?" At their affirmative nods, he suggested, "Then you better get in there. She really is having trouble keeping up with the cooking." Then, scurried away.

"So...that's our burglar?", asked Kili dumbly. Fili punched him and they made their way to the kitchen.


	5. Finding AnswersOh, and Thorin

Georgiana heard the rest of the dwarves fall in before she saw any of them. She practically felt the floorboards quake. A bit disappointed that she missed that grand display, she stirred the stew she was making with extra fervor.

"Miss Georgiana, what exactly am I supposed to do to these 'patties'?", asked a confused Kili with furrowed brows, still holding the spatula she had thrust into his hands a moment ago like a sword. She smiled as she was reminded of her brother, Max, when he was younger.

"Kili, stop calling me Georgiana. Georgie works fine, too. In fact, I prefer it. Georgiana is a mouthful. Next, budge over so I can show you how to do this. Fili you might wanna watch, too, in case I have to put Kili on topping duty.", with that, the young woman took back her spatula and demonstrated when and how to flip the burger patties. After they were browned and seasoned she told them to add a slice of cheese and let it melt.

"Now, you both try.", she said as she passed her burger-mantle to the youngest dwarf.

Bless his heart, Kili tried. His first patty came out charred with cheese.

His second patty was still red inside.

Georgie took him off patty duty when he went in for a third try, "Okay, Fili! You're up! Kili, take the finished patties and put them all on a piece of bread. Then, a slice or two of tomato, then a slice or two of lettuce. Top with another piece of bread and flip it so the vegetables are on bottom." Kili went to do as told like a good little minion. She was proud.

She then turned to Fili, whispering conspiratorially, "Alright, Hot Stuff." Fili was not sure what the endearment meant, but he had a feeling it was complimentary, leaving him with a healthy dose of male pride, as was her intention. If he thought she forgot about his teasing, he was grossly mistaken and she would use this opportunity to make up for practically slobbering over him earlier. Simpering at him a bit would give her a nice laugh (and give him something to smile over), especially if he continued to perk up like he was now. "You're my last chance, I highly doubt the dwarves that just came in know a lick about cooking. Except Bombur, he might know a few tricks. He might also eat the food before it gets plated. Ergo, you'll have to be my saving grace." She beamed up at him and he grinned back.

"Show me whatcha got!"

He cocked his head and furrowed his brows in confusion at her strange accent. It was unlike anything he had heard previously, though he'd heard the words a thousand times before.

Misinterpreting his confusion she explained, "Er, figure of speech. Demonstrate to me your recently learned culinary skills. Please", she jokingly asked in her best Boromir impersonation, puffing out her chest mockingly and thumping a right fist over her heart and the left gesturing to the stove.

Chortling at her antics, he proceeded to cook three nearly perfect patties. Her jaw dropped. She was sure of it.

He slyly eyed her, "Are my culinary skills to your satisfaction, Miss Georgie?"

Oh, she could definitely get used to hearing that voice. She forgot all about fake simpering and not slobbering with the voice. Without thinking, she replied in what she thought would be the affirmative, but instead replied somewhat huskily, "Your voice is like verbal hot chocolate. _Tell me_ you sing." She gave a slightly breathy sigh, "Please keep talking." Her eyes drooped shut of their own volition as she whispered the last sentence without meaning to.

They certainly snapped open when she heard the barking cackle of Kili from his place at the counter! Her head snapped to him as she finally registered what she'd said. And...that makes two plans that backfired on her! (The first being the Act-ON-Instinct Plan with Dwalin and Balin.)

As her cheeks attempted to imitate Mount Vesuvius, she sheepishly turned to see the ducked, grinning face of Fili, who happened to be sniggering as well. Her chagrined grimace slowly erupted into an self-deprecating smirk as she admonished, "Oh, shut it, you both! It's not weird to enjoy the sound of a person's voice! Much less to let them know it. I do so all the time back home." At the sight of the twin dubious looks, she grumbled on, "I happen to love listening to different people speak. Fili just so happens to have a voice that men back home could kill for and, seeing as one of my specialties back home is of vocal performance-" she clarified,"singing- I can't help but be appreciative of it."

It took all her willpower not to complete her little snob act by adding 'so there!' at the end.

"You swooned at the sound of my speaking.", Fili deadpanned. "That seems like a few steps beyond 'appreciation'!", he finished, smirking boastfully. It had been some time since he last had the opportunity to tease someone outside of the family. It had also been a significant stretch since he last charmed a young woman. He enjoyed this opportunity to do both in that instant, already plotting ways to continue.

She colored further, causing Kili to laugh harder. Arguing defensively,(and shrilly) she cried, "I did not _swoon_!" She spat the word before rationally explaining, "My brain just temporarily stopped functioning, which is perfectly normal for young women my age around...um, pleasantly stimulating company."

She gave up hope that they didn't notice her weak reasoning when Kili supplanted, "Attractive company you mean."

She wanted to pop that boy in the head.

Grimacing again, she rolled her eyes at the overwhelming teasing going on and grumbled, "Alright! I may or may not find your brother's voice stunning. (In any case, better to be stunning than reminiscent of a keening dog!) But it doesn't matter what I think right now, we need to finish cooking. I don't fancy a horde of hungry dwarves on my back. So, please, Kili, get back to work!" She turned back to add the finishing touches to her cooked stew and to turn off that burner when Kili suggested lecherously, "I am sure you would fancy my brother on your back." When he saw her spin to glare at him, ready to smack him in the face with her spoon, he amended smugly, "Oh, apologies, my brother's voice."

"Kili!", she shrieked scandalized before killing her embarrassed (and impotent) outrage, ducking her face into her hands and groaning loudly, at the same time an equally embarrassed Fili reprimanded the same.

Kili, having finished with his side of the cooking long previously (only staying to cause mischief), hummed satisfactorily and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Oh look, I have to go find Gandalf now! Much important crap to talk about! Set the table please, gentlemen and make sure Bilbo gets the drinks.", with that, she escaped to find the wandering wizard. She thought she heard a yelp of pain from Kili, Fili probably punched him or something. Good.

* * *

><p>She quickly found Gandalf placating her distressed hobbit friend in the hallway, surrounded by dwarrow she all recognized. She stopped to take it all in for a moment, spotting Bofur's hat here, the star-tip of Nori's hair there, and the rotundity of Bombur to the side, before pressing on to Gandalf.<p>

She cleared her throat politely and Gandalf turned to face her, long eyebrows lost into his hairline. "Gandalf, sir, I think we should talk in private a moment."

"Yes. I believe an explanation to the presence of a human girl in a hobbit hole would be very appreciated. Excuse me, Bilbo.", with that, the kindly wizard led her outside, sitting on Bilbo's bench and preparing to smoke. He patted the seat beside him and she sighed as she sat down.

"Mr. Gandalf, I'm not from Middle Earth.", she started. However, Georgie was cut off by the wizard chuckling (she had stated the obvious, after all), "I know. I helped bring you here."

She stared, shocked out of thinking for a brief moment before the questions exploded.

"How!? What about my family, are they alright? Do they know I'm gone? This isn't a dream, then? Why did you do it? You said you only helped, who is really responsible? Was it the White Council, because I'm not really down with fucking Saruman knowing anything about me! And what about-"

"Desist in your impatient nattering, Georgiana Chavez!", Gandalf ordered. "All will be explained if you wait." He took a puff of his pipe and Georgie watched with sudden delight as the smoke transformed into a cat that looked at her and sauntered away.

"The White Council doesn't know about you. This didn't seem like such a matter of importance as that. Yes, you are in another world, yes you were brought here deliberately. But only because we have seen the genuine love you feel for the dwarves of this company, especially the Durins", at her dumbfounded stare he continued.

"My lady, Galadriel, was the first to see your potential for salvation, I simply acted as her conduit to bring you here. She will be pleased to learn of your already strong friendship with Bilbo Baggins, if she doesn't already know. Georgiana, while many from your world experienced real grief at the loss of the Durin line, you were the only one who, not only grieved as if you knew they were real, but also has the courage and will to change that possible outcome if given the chance. We are giving you the chance."

Georgie didn't know what the hell to think about that. But the first thought that came to her was, "Will I ever see my family again? Or my world? Gandalf, I left a lot behind in coming to Middle Earth, I need to know that I will see my family again. Nothing else matters. I need to know, and I need to know right now." Gandalf saw the young lady grow years older in the course of a sentence, but was still reluctant to answer.

"Gandalf!", she snarled. "If I have to kill myself or some other awful thing here to get back to them, I'll do it. I'm pretty sure my being here is like being in a dream. I die here, wake up there, right? I will do _anything _to keep them safe or get over to them. I will not abandon my family so easily. They are my entire world!", she spat derisively. At Gandalf's pronounced frown, she warned, "It would be ridiculously easy. I don't even care, if that's how I need to get back, you can be damn sure I'll do it!"

"There's no need for such dramatics, my girl.", Gandalf reprimanded, thoroughly exasperated by how quickly she dove for the perilous, though secretly pleased that the girl he chose to defend the line of Durin was so devoted to her loved ones. Georgie contemplated swinging at him when he finally continued. "Don't you think the Valar, or your own God, thought about that before they allowed us to bring you here! We don't bring other worldly beings to Middle Earth for entertainment! We received express permission. Not only permission, but I was instructed to tell you that you have been gifted with the ability to traverse the realms. This responsibility is given to select individuals. For the rest of your existence, which I'm told has been elongated, you will be the guardian of these two realms. At least, beginning with the successful completion of this quest."

Again, Georgie was struck dumb. Who the hell did Gandalf meet, exactly?

She decided that for now, it didn't matter so much. She would see her family again, soon. And she'd still be able to return to Middle Earth. That's all she needed to know.

Her blazing intensity cooled considerably and she was slightly abashed when she replied, "Thank you, Gandalf. And I'm sorry for my outburst, I've been worried about them for weeks now."

"I understand, my girl. I cannot begrudge you caring."

"Gandalf, what are we going to tell the dwarves? Can we tell them the truth? Or part of it? I don't want to lie to them, especially when they'll find out eventually.", she worried her lip until it swelled slightly.

"Yes, we will tell them tonight, after dinner but before the company discusses the quest to reclaim Erebor.", Gandalf stated sagely.

"Aye-aye, Cap'n!", Georgie saluted to break the remaining tension. It worked, as Gandalf chuckled before heading inside.

Before he could disappear inside the hobbit hole, Georgie asked curiously, "Mr. Gandalf? Can I go fetch Thorin, please? He'll miss dinner and 'lose his way. Twice.' before he finally gets here. Dinner should be almost finished cooking, and Bilbo can stall for me while he berates the company for their manners. Please? I feel like I could make a good impression on Thorin away from the judging eyes of his fellows.", she finished her statement with an exaggerated, Archaic flare, while giving Gandalf her best doe eyes, which he saw through immediately, but still let her go search for Thorin.

Gandalf wandered inside and Georgie was left by herself. She walked to the gate and looked out over Hobbiton, trying to spot their fearless leader.

After roughly five minutes, she spotted a short, dark figure emerge from behind a flower garden and stop in the middle of town. He wasn't very far from Bag End, really. Just down the lane. She was beginning to wonder if he would really lose his way when he turned around and headed in the opposite direction than he needed. She giggled at that and set off to retrieve The Oakenshield.

As she walked, Georgie thought about the beauty of the Shire at night. Unlike in her world, she could wander out here all night if she wished and she would never have to worry about being attacked or abandoned to the cold. Shire folk were far too loving a race to let anyone suffer the dark alone. Even strange folk.

She thought about the Nazgul.

Maybe Shire folk were conditional about their welcome. Or maybe they just had common sense. Either way, she considered herself a temporary resident of the Shire, and so bound by duty to uphold their customs.

She finally found the navigationally stunted King lurking about the market place wondering how he had ended up so far from the smials. She even saw him scratch his head a bit in despair.

"Master Dwarf?", she called from a safe distance away. She may be slightly lacking in common sense,according to her family, but she had enough left to know not to surprise a seasoned warrior. In the dark. In an unfamiliar place. Especially considering she knew everything about him and he couldn't say the same.

Thorin turned to face her so fast and so gracefully that Georgie couldn't help but mentally praise his Majestic Majesty. In her head. Internet style.

Thorin looked uncannily like Richard Armitage's Thorin Oakenshield. She wasn't sure how, but he did. She desperately hoped he sounded like him. Fili would have nothing on the verbal gold of Thorin's voice.

"Who is there? Come into the open where I can see you.", demanded the grumpy king. She wondered if his 195 years had affected his vision. How could he not see her, she was totally out in the open! She wouldn't intentionally spook the dwarven king, that just screamed, "Bad Idea!"

"Obviously, you are not in the open or I would not have asked, though I must agree it would be a very 'bad idea' to remain hidden", retorted the irritated Thorin smartly. Oops. Looked like she spoke her thoughts. Crap, she must have misjudged her positioning in the road somewhere along the line. She really wasn't visible. She finally realized she had been standing "in the open" right beside a very large tree, which happened to cast her entire body into shadow, rendering her temporarily invisible.

She stepped out quickly, not wanting to keep the King waiting, and apologized, "I'm so sorry, Mr. Oakenshield, sir. Like the goofy thing I am, I didn't realize I was in the middle of the tree's shadow. I thought I was still visibly on the path. My mistake." She shrugged casually to end her explanation.

She walked toward him confidently, but cautiously. She wanted to present a strong front for this introduction, he would already be displeased at having his name bandied about.

Thorin was about to interrogate her, moving towards her with a sure gait, which she attempted to match. In the dark. On a dirt path. Next to a tree.

Suffering from the debilitating effects of chronic klutziness, Georgie tripped on her own feet(and an overlarge branch) and almost fell flat on her face in front of Thorin Oakenshield. Instead, she tripped on her own feet and fell _on_ THE Thorin Oakenshield.

One moment she was mustering her confidence to impress Thorin with her otherworldly charm. The next moment she ran over the Majestic Thorin Oakenshield and had a mouth full of the fur trimming of his coat. Bummer.

Luckily for Georgie, not only was Thorin a battle hardened warrior (which meant he could keep his balance when people threw themselves at him), he was uncle to one of the clumsiest dwarves in Ered Luin. (Which was a rarely known fact outside of the family and close friends. Georgie certainly never would've guessed that Kili was clumsy, though she almost died laughing when she learned of it.) He caught her easily, with barely a grunt, hoisting her up to look her in the eye with his most intimidating stare, even as he struggled not to display the amusement he felt.

No one would ever know it, but the instant she reminded him of his nephew, Georgiana Chavez gained the almost never-ending gift of Thorin's protection. Not even Thorin realized that in that moment, he had unwittingly gained a niece.

Georgie gulped nervously, all vestiges of her attempted confidence long gone.

"I do not believe we have ever met, girl, yet you speak with familiarity. How do you know my name?", Thorin rumbled out semi threateningly.

"Ummmm..."

"Speak, Girl!", barked the irate Thorin.

"Well, y'see, Gandalf invited your Company of dwarves and yourself to Bag End, the, the home of one Master Burglar, Bilbo Baggins...a-a-and everyone is already there except for you, th-th-the fearless leader. Or I guess fear-instilling leader would maybe work just as well…", the human girl rambled. "But, they shouldn't start dinner without you. You're important and probably just as, if not more, hungry and tired than they are...so I asked Gandalf if I could come find you. I knew you would be somewhere around here lost and I d-d-din't like the idea of leaving you out here to figure it out yourself!"

Thorin was considering her words, or trying to. She spoke so quickly it was hard to understand, especially with her peculiar accent. (She would later tell the Company and himself that she was from a region called the Midwest, though her mother's relatives lived in 'Oklahoma, so sometimes I just slip into an accent without meaning to'.)

He couldn't get a word in edgewise, so resigned to wait for her to finish before speaking. It wouldn't do to look like he was so easily interrupted. Besides, she would probably tell him everything he needed to know and more before he asked another question.

She paused briefly to gulp, "I know everything, Mr. Oakenshield. All about-" here she leaned in and dropped her voice to avoid being overheard, even in the barren area. "-the quest for Erebor." Thorin froze. She couldn't be telling the truth, no one knew about this quest except for dwarves and Gandalf. It couldn't be.

He was shaking his head in denial as he thought this, which she replied to in kind. "It's true, sir. I can prove my knowledge to you however you want on the way to Bag End. It's part of the reason I wanted to find you. I figured you'd be more open to hearing me out without Balin and Dwalin in your ears. Shall we go?"

"Very well. We shall go now to Bag End. But I want answers, Girl. You should not be privy to any of the business of dwarves.", Thorin admonished sternly.

She nodded her acceptance of that, knowing Mahal's people were a proud and secretive race. "Of course, Mr. Oakenshield. Anything you want to know, just ask. I have to warn you, though. I might not know the answers to some of your questions. Where I'm from, the Quest is common knowledge, things that happened before the Quest? Not so much. Please, ask your first question."

"From where do you hail? Your accent is unlike any I have encountered in Middle Earth so far, though you speak with implied knowledge of the land and its people."

She smiled, "That's easy. Hard to believe, but easy to answer. Gandalf and a magical elf by the name of Galadriel brought me to the Shire roughly three weeks ago from my house in my country of America. I know you have never heard of my country, but it is a country of men, not governed by a king. I know that's hard to understand, but I'll explain it later if you'd like." She said in response to his curiousity.

"The reason you have never heard of America, is because it's in a totally different world."

"That's impossible! You would take me for a fool?!", burst Thorin angrily.

"NO! No, I swear it's the truth! I'm from a different world. I was sent here to protect the line of Durin...and jointly one Bilbo Baggins, but that's beside the point.", she tried continuing.

Thorin cut her off, "What danger could possibly await the mighty line of Durin?"

She stopped walking, forcing Thorin to stop as well and turned to her. She whispered a single word that chilled his soul and made everything else irrelevant, "Azog."

Thorin snarled at her, ashen with fear, "The beast is dead! Slunk back into the depths of Moria after-" "The Battle of Azanulbizar.", finished Georgie somberly. "The same battle King Thror was lost and your father, Thrain, went missing."

Thorin was beginning to believe now. "Where I'm from, the history of Middle Earth is common knowledge. It's even a form of Popular Culture! I know what's going to happen in roughly sixty years just as well as I know how this quest ends, Thorin. That's why I wanted to offer my services to the Company, for however long you should need me. I know little ways to make this quest easier and I know how we could avoid the tragedies." She held her breath in anticipation.

"You, a woman, would offer your life for the success of a company of dwarves? What could you hope to gain?", Thorin implored gravely.

"I just want everyone to come home safely. I'll do whatever it takes. I just wanted to receive your blessing to become a part of your Company. Please, Thorin.", Georgie didn't know quite how to handle her nerves at this point. She settled for fiddling with the ruffles of her skirt.

" I do not even know your name, Girl…", Thorin began hesitantly, only to be quickly interrupted by a relieved, "Georgiana Chavez." A mischievous smirk followed by a deep obeisant bow, "At your service, your Majesty."

A deep sense of pride and honor stirred in Thorin after hearing the title. He gave a small head bow in gratitude.

He rumbled, "Thorin Oakenshield, Son of Thrain, Son of Thror." Bowing deeply in courtesy, he added, "At your service and your family's." She chuckled in glee that she of all people had just received a proper, Dwarven introduction from none THE Thorin Oakenshield (_Will wonders never cease?), _before adding softly, "You know, I'll just find a way to follow you unofficially if you don't allow me to accompany you." Her the ends of her lips lifted, "I'm very insistent."

Thorin answered regretfully, yet sternly, "I cannot ensure your safety. It is far more important to ensure my people, who have suffered so much already, have a permanent home in Erebor, than ensuring the well-being of a girl following only to appease her boredom."

She protested, "I don't want to go for the sake of my _boredom! _I want to go for the sake of the Company!" Fists at her hips, she stood her ground, mentally and physically prepared to follow him. No matter what his final decision may be.

Thorin sighed heavily, thinking over a thought he'd had recently about the dwarves in his Company. He could ask no more of them than loyalty, honor and a willing heart. She very clearly had a willing heart. She had demonstrated her honor earlier when she swore to protect the Company. Whether she be loyal, was yet to be seen, though he caught enough glimpses to inspire confidence in his decision, "I'll have Balin draw a contract for you when I next see him."

It wasn't a guarantee of anything, and Thorin hoped she would pick up on that. He was only offering to give her a contract so he and his Company could evaluate her position among them in greater detail. He would not allow this stranger a position in his Company without discussing it with his people first.

The lass' whole demeanor instantly changed. No longer was she a statue of stony resolution. Now she was bubbly and grateful. This one was giving him a headache. "Now may we continue to Bag End?", Thorin swore he saw a piece of Frerin in her satisfied beam. He wondered if he would come to regret his decision, he hoped not.

"Good idea, Chief!", she was still beaming as she asked if she could carry anything for him. When he answered the negative, she began leading them to Bilbo's Hobbit Hole asking Thorin every question she could think of regarding his life.

"So, Mr. Oakenshield? What was your favorite part of Erebor growing up?"

"I fail to see how that is relevant."

"It's good for me to know my king." There was that deep proud feeling again. "Maybe I can write your biography later, but for now, I just want to know about you."

Thorin pondered for a moment, leaving her to think she may have overstepped. "I enjoyed visiting Raven Hill with Dwalin in my youth.", he finally admitted.

"Why?"

Thorin wondered if she was intentionally seeking more personal answers or if that was her instinct.

"We would go there to avoid lessons with Balin. We found more joy in speaking to the ravens than with sitting still for hours learning about diplomatic relations and the customs of visiting elves. Now answer me a question: what should I expect to find in the home of our esteemed burglar?"

Georgie gave a small fond smile before explaining what a hobbit hole was and how "That means comfort." It didn't actually answer his real question, what was he to expect of the burglar, but he supposed it mattered not. He would see for himself shortly. Incidentally, she finished her explanation, which he suspected may have been memorized, just as they reached a round, green door.

Georgie looked over at him, throwing him with a playful smirk, and ordered, "Knock on the door really loudly. Don't pull the bell. The dramatic effect will be awesome!"

Thorin raised a brow at that, then did as she asked. When the sounds of revelry from inside came to a complete stop at the action, he turned to her expectantly in surprise.

"I told you it would be dramatic.", she beamed. "Let's get inside before they eat everything. I told them to wait for you earlier, but I'm not sure they listened. We're having vegetable stew and hamburgers tonight. I'll think you'll like it.", with that odd statement she turned back to the round door, counted down from three and beamed when Gandalf finally opened the door. Thorin turned to face him, looking quite regal for a dwarf whose stomach was growling the song of his people not twenty minutes ago.

"Bilbo Baggins", she called, bowing her head in recognition of the hobbit standing a ways back from Gandalf, sweeping her hand in Thorin's direction, turning to look straight at him. "Meet our majestic-", she choked a bit in surprise at what must have been a slip of the tongue. Embarrassed, she stuttered, "-er...I meant fearless leader, Thorin Oakenshield," She was grinning ear to ear again when she added, proudly as a youngling showing off their new friends to a parent, "The Soon-to-Be King Under the Mountain."


	6. Thorin Joins the Party

Thorin puffed up in pride at her introduction. He was indeed majestic, he'd thought so several times throughout his life. He could also deem himself quite fearless, though Dwalin and Dis would certainly disagree. Especially considering the incident with that mother raven and his attempts to domesticate her children while they lived in Erebor. He shivered involuntarily.

"Gandalf, I thought you said this place would be easy to find. I lost my way. Twice.", he reprimanded the old wizard. "I wouldn't have found it at all had it not been for the girl you sent to retrieve me." He gave a nod in her direction.

Focusing back to their supposed host, he gave the small man-child a once over. He was almost cute -if Thorin ever dared used the term- with his soft little body, disproportionately enormous feet and curly, infantile hair. Not to mention the precious, rumpled expression he wore, that morphed from put out and frustrated to nervous and wide eyed the instant Georgiana introduced him as King Under the Mountain.

Surely, this was not the burglar-hobbit Gandalf had promised! He looked like a small child! Thorin cast a disbelieving glance at the Girl as their host invited them both inside. She shrugged before stepping inside-at his bequest, royals were raised with gentility, after all- with as much grace as she could muster. Which, evidently, was not much, as she tripped over Bilbo's foot almost immediately and was caught by the arm by Bofur so she avoided falling on her face, much to the amusement of the company, who had gathered in the entrance upon hearing of Thorin's arrival.

Once he sauntered through the doorstep, with- judging by the envious glare she shot his way- was much more elegance than the girl, he turned to their host, still mentally pondering over how this childlike creature could possibly survive in the wild, "So..._this_ is the hobbit."

Thorin tried not to feel guilty at how the statement came out. That is, gruff and rude. Manners, indeed. The girl was glaring mildly at him again, clearly unimpressed with his introduction.

The little man himself seemed a bit dumbfounded, until he received a swift elbow to the shoulder from the girl, before he returned (glaring at the girl), "Bilbo Baggins, apparently at your service."

For the second time that night, Thorin replied instinctively, "Thorin Oakenshield. At yours and your family's." Thorin mentally cursed his diligent upbringing. How _rude_ that he should be trained to give the customary greeting at times when he needed to be aloof and impressive.

"Tell me, Mr. Baggins. Have you done much fighting?", he noticed the girl beside the hobbit frowned at him as Master Baggins stuttered. "Axe or sword? What's your weapon of choice?" The tiny man gave a pitiful answer about conkers, allowing Thorin to disappointedly state, "I thought as much." To Gandalf, "He looks more like a grocer than a burglar." This causing some laughter from the Company.

Gandalf only returned a weak shrug in his own defense, while the girl's frown had deepened into a scowl for their host. At the moment, the kingly dwarf could care less. He had been promised a proper burglar and Gandalf had cheated him! Did the inconsiderate wizard even think about how this _hobbit_ could negatively impact the safety of _his _Company? It was bad enough that he was considering allowing one near-useless person along. He was still trying to figure out the capacity the girl would fill working in the Company and how he would argue for or against her joining. This _hobbit_ was unreasonable. If not for the fact that he gave his word to the sly Gandalf, he would refuse this _would-be burglar!_

He pushed aside his indignance for the moment and, seeing the hungry looks of His Company and smelling the heady aroma of a large meal lingering in the air, hinted, "I was told there would be food provided before our business was discussed."

He did not see the rolled eyes of Georgiana at his use of subtlety. Nor did he see the widened eyes of Fili and Kili, who had been watching her and were therefore surprised by the action. If Thorin had, he certainly had no wish to acknowledge the actions. He had more important matters to focus on, after all.

What he did see was the hobbit nervously adjust his clothing, leading them to the makeshift dining room (spur of the moment if the mismatched chairs and end tables Thorin noticed were anything to go by) instructing, "Yes, of course. Georgiana had me preparing to cook this meal since this morning (though I didn't know it then!)." He pushed an irritated glance through the room to her wickedly unapologetic face. "Please. Have a seat at the table while Georgiana and I retrieve everyone's supper."

With that, he motioned for the girl to accompany him, not looking back to the girl as he left the room. Had he chosen to glance behind himself, he perhaps would have gawked at the sight of the girl daring to call forth the king's nephews to aid her. She peered down to his nephews, a feat as they were taller than she, with tilted head, raised brows and unavoidable gaze as she jerked her head in the direction of the kitchen. She, as Bilbo had, did not bother to check behind to see if they followed. Thorin briefly assumed she must be the chatelaine of the home, under Master Baggins, to command such authority as a woman, but that could not be so, Master Baggins would have introduced her as his relative had that been the case. At least Thorin thought he would have.

He was briefly impressed by her audacity.

The thought soon fled in favor of horror to see his nephews grudgingly rising from their seats and dutifully trailing after. If Master Baggins failed to notice the gall of the girl, the company certainly made up for his negligence.

It was many an eye that turned in askance toward their king. Some quite offended (Dwalin, Oin, Gloin and Dori), some confused (Ori), some already chuckling (Nori, Bifur, Bofur and Bombur) one dwarf (Balin) was looking in the direction the odd trio had left contemplatively. Thorin was still deciding what he felt, though one thought that frequently reappeared was, '_She may be more trouble than she's worth.'_ Thorin honestly did not know what to make of it.

After a short while, the hobbit, the human and the two dwarves returned with plates and bowls (the necessary utensils and napkins were set out earlier by Fili and Kili when Bilbo found them messing around after Georgiana left to _retrieve_ Thorin) a pot of stew and two large platters full of stacked, odd looking sandwiches.

The dining room was soon redolent of food and the entire Company's mouths watered. He sat up straighter as the hobbit set a plate and bowl in front of him, gifting Master Baggins with a gently rumbled, "Thank you, Master Baggins." Thorin may have imagined the bashful blushing of the hobbit, but not his meek, "You're very welcome, Master Oakenshield." Thorin tried to contain the evidence of his growing braggadocio at that, but not very well if the smirks of Dwalin, his nephews or the awed eyes of Miss Georgiana were evidence.

Fili came by carrying the stew, which Kili measured out to him, soon after, followed closely by the girl setting two large sandwiches on his plate. She slapped his hand when he reached for one, officiously scolding, "They waited for your navigationally challenged self to start dinner. It's only polite for you to wait until everyone is served to begin eating, Mr. Oakenshield."

Fili and Kili, who had moved on to the next nearest dwarf, Balin, snapping back to look at them, eyebrows shooting up at her words. Their faces were strange combinations of scandalized, wary and, though he hoped to Mahal he was wrong, admiration, waiting for Thorin to react. His nephews' actions presaged the many intractable moments this girl would have with Thorin, though they were unaware at the time. They eagerly awaited his reaction, much like a dwarrowdam awaiting fresh gossip.

Thorin blinked.

His eyes traveled slowly from her hands on her hips up her arms to her stern, unyielding (but not belligerent, he was happy to see) expression. His head waiting to turn to her face until after his eyes had arrived, casting an intimidating, I-am-the-leader-do-not-question-me aura about the Head Dwarf. At least, that's what Thorin intended. His entire company would question how he handled this human girl's action, he had to remain dignified...As dignified as any dwarf could be when scolded like a babe by a stranger.

Thorin could see that she did not mean grievous insult and, though his pride took a hit, nodded graciously once to acknowledge her advice and to apologize, in his own way, for his brief inconsideration. Then, the kingly dwarf turned back to face the rest of the Company, content to become the exemplar of patience as he waited for them all to be served.

Gandalf chuckled from his position in the corner of the room.

The Company was in awe. Their king...humbled by a sharp slap on the wrist and a few stern words. It was as if the Lady Dis inhabited this human girl for a moment. The older dwarves decided to at least attempt to be on their best behavior. If Thorin was not safe from a scolding, they could, and many did, bet on the lady of the house having indiscriminately smacking hands.

They needn't have worried. Early on, Thorin figured out that Georgiana cared more about his consideration of the Company than his table manners (gaining esteem for loyalty from Thorin as the night wore on), as when the younger or rowdier dwarrow threw their tables manners away for the evening, she made no comment, sometimes joining in (To the shock and horror of the hobbit). Thorin was pleased to note she did smack a few more dwarves for neglecting to say 'please' and 'thank you' for the rest of the night.

The four continued to serve the food. This time, the sharper dwarves all followed Thorin's lead on expected table etiquette. They could have just as easily looked to Balin, but in their disorientation the king was the better choice. Once everyone was served, including the host and his three helpers, Thorin and the company _finally_ partook in their meal.

Thorin was trying desperately to contain his wonder. He pursed his lips.

Fili's eyes grew wide. Kili took three more bites, grinning all the way.

Balin's eyebrows were almost lost into his hairline.

Dwalin frowned, deeply, blinked twice and took another bite.

Oin and Gloin did not react, but kept munching contentedly. Perhaps they had lost their sense of taste.

Bifur grunted softly ('Hmph.'), Bofur laughed into his sandwich. Bombur almost wept.

Dori sipped politely at his stew, Nori took a tomato slice out of his sandwich (Georgiana cursed at seeing this, she thought she could get the dwarves to 'veg up'.) and Ori was so gobsmacked that he stopped eating to stare at his food for a few moments. He never knew green food could actually complement meat in such a way.

Gandalf 'hmm'ed and Bilbo nibbled on merrily, content to ignore the world in favor of his food, a meal with which he'd grown familiar, as the stew (her aunt's recipe) and hamburgers were the only thing Georgiana trusted herself to cook in bulk. Cereal and eggs didn't count, she'd told him earlier, because those are breakfast foods and you couldn't really entertain guests with simple breakfast foods, could you, Bilbo?

Georgiana hadn't taken a bite yet. She had just settled herself to get ready to eat, adjusting her spoon to the right, napkins (One was never enough) on her lap and under hand and mug in the left corner. She made the sign of the cross and began to pray, head bowed in reverence, despite the speed with which she prayed.

_Bless us, oh, Lord, for these thy gifts, which we are about to receive, from thy bounty through Christ, our Lord. Amen._

She crossed herself again and began to eat.

"What was that you did just now?", Ori asked curiously from across from her, finally coming out of his food stupor. Unwittingly, Ori became one of Georgiana's favorite dwarves with his question, as it was something she would have asked as well.

Georgie smiled, eager to explain. She was used to this question after years of public school and curious children. "I just prayed. I do that all the time before I eat."

"Why?", piped up Nori, from Ori's left, who had found this apparent eccentricity intriguing.

"To give thanks for having food to eat. You see-"

"But to whom do you pray? Mahal? Yavanna? Another of the Valar?", asked Bofur from further down the table, Georgie thought he was somewhere to the right of Bilbo (who was to the right of Kili, who was on her right. Fili was to her left.).

She caught Bilbo giving the surrounding dwarves looks of panicked begging to change the subject. She smiled. _Sorry, Bilbo, too late._

Drawing a breath, she began her explanation, "Where I come from, like Middle Earth, there are many types of religions. Most believe in a Creator, protector or otherwise singularly powerful eternal being that watches over

the world of men. It's similar to how many peoples here believe in the Valar...or how the dwarrow believe their Creator is Mahal." She briefly stuttered at the challenging black looks she was receiving from the older generation of dwarves, who had snapped to attention at the mention of their Creator. Now the entire Company was at attention. Poor Bilbo muttered what sounded like, "I warned you, but you didn't listen. Why does no one ever listen?"

After receiving a sympathetic nod from Gandalf, "At least to my understanding." The dwarves seemed to be pacified by this addendum, many turning back to their eating.

Georgiana channeled her inner Hermione as she clarified, " My family and I are from a long line of Catholics. We believe in one true God, but in three parts: The Father (who created everything, maybe even himself), The Son (Jesus Christ: God's gift to the world, the saviour of God's people, being a physical, human embodiment of God.) and the Holy Spirit (who blesses God's chosen, inspires people to do God's will or spread God's message. It is often this manifestation of God that performs miracles through God's faithful. It's considered an _enormous_ blessing to be touched by the Holy Spirit.). These three parts of God are individual, but are the same person. That's the only simple explanation of the Holy Trinity I have. Sorry that it might be hard to grasp."

"As Catholics, we have certain prayers, like the Rosary or (like you saw me do before I could eat). We give the sign of the cross-" here she demonstrated, touching her right hand to her head, chest, right then left shoulders softly saying as she went, "Father, Son, Holy Spirit". "-Probably to remember the sacrifice of Jesus for our sins. It's the most important story in the entire history of our religion, but not meant for the dinner table.", she apologized after receiving disappointed looks from Ori and a few of the more curious dwarves. "Then, we give a short blessing for the meal-", she recited the blessing quickly, "-recross ourselves and say 'Amen', which means (at least what I was taught it means...I don't think I ever bothered to learn the direct translation of the word) 'I believe' or 'truly'. I've always seen it as a way to tell God you believe in him after you pray to Him."

"I could go on about this forever, but the point is, I pray before I eat to give my thanks to my God for providing me with food. I'm positive hobbits, wizards and _especially_ dwarves have religions and religious customs. I'd be more than happy to learn about all of them(in fact, I'll probably find a few a of you with my questions) later." She looked at Ori and Balin as she said this. " And if anyone ever wants to learn more about my religious heritage, let me know, I'd be happy to tell you about it. I'm sure you all have questions about all of the holes I probably left in my explanation. Right now, though, I wanna finish eating.", she said as she turned to her meal.

With that she resolutely bit into her hamburger, chewing merrily away as the dwarves pondered her words.

Seeing as they couldn't talk to the girl with her face stuffed with sandwich, the dwarrow turned in askance to the burglar and bombarded him with questions about what wonderful things they were eating.

He explained about Hamburgers and the Stew. "The stew was a family recipe, Bombur.", he answered the round, ginger dwarf across the table. "Georgiana said hamburgers were quite a popular meal in her homeland, Gloin.", he returned to the other ginger dwarf. He did hope he had gotten their names correct!

At one point, he dragged Fili and Kili in, "They're pretty simple to cook. She even got Fili and Kili to help her make these. Do you like them, then?"

His answer came in the fervent nodding and humming.

Georgiana was proud, though she knew Bilbo's comment about her homeland would raise plenty of questions. Most of the dwarves here had traveled all over Middle Earth, they'd be able to tell him that she _wern't from 'round these parts, _she thought to herself, smiling at her little joke.

After dinner, the dwarrow sang their song about ruining Bilbo's house, causing Bilbo grief and merriment for the rest. Georgie loved every second, especially when Thorin joined in by tossing knives at Fili, who caught and washed them before sending them flying at Kili to be put away

Then, Georgiana could procrastinate no longer.

She had to tell them about her presence in Middle Earth.


	7. They Finally Have The Talk

It began simply. They had seated themselves once more at the elongated table, stoic expressions carved into stony faces behind intricate beards. Bilbo was standing a little ways from Gandalf. Georgie right beside him in the corner of the room, hopefully far enough from Thorin to prevent herself from becoming a distraction.

She tried making herself smaller, more insignificant, by hunching her normally straight posture and dipping her head down, facing their leader (who was seated at the head of the table, beside whom sat the sagely Balin and dwarf-mammoth hybrid, Dwalin). She practically melted into the wall behind her. A bit like a rat, she thought. Watching and trying hard not to be watched in return.

Evidently, she failed at least at the second.

She briefly felt nosey eyes, one pair being earth-brown and the second a deepwater blue, of the two youngest Durins. She pointedly ignored them in the hopes that they would get the (glaring) hint to pay attention to their uncle as he called them all to business. When the two brothers continued to stare, quite rudely, at her from the corner of her eye, she glared at the air in front of her and snapped her head in Thorin's direction with a subtle (she hoped) cough. She was proud to note they turned to face their uncle as she tuned in her own focus to Thorin.

Thorin looked at everyone in the room, seeming to search the faces of and communicate with every dwarf at the table nonverbally with only a few well-timed nods of his leonine head and a few twitches in the stone of his face. Georgie forced herself not to giggle at his dancing eyebrows and twitching cheeks and lips, though she allowed a brief moment of awe that he could connect and command the room so deeply.

As if sensing her eyes (it was normal for her to stare when thinking about people, but she hoped she didn't have a creepy look on her face like she sometimes did), Thorin spared a stern-and a little smug, if she wasn't mistaken- look in her direction. That did not bode well for her Hide-Quietly-and-Listen Plan. There went plan three.

Then, he turned to Gandalf, proving his leonine features by rumbling with soft command, "Before we discuss our business this evening, Gandalf, I believe the Company would like answers regarding the presence of the girl. Especially considering she has requested a place in our Company."

Before all Hell had the chance to break loose, Georgie felt rather than consciously wondered, how in the bloody navy Thorin was able to play judge, jury and witness so inobviously, not quite subtlety, because everyone in the room knew exactly what he'd just called for, but certainly more diplomatically done than demanding. It _had_ to have taken some practice to demand an explanation as jury (without outrightly _asking for it)_, direct the means of receiving such answers as judge (and to pull that over on a wizard, no less!) and finally, to slip away from it all as unscathed as an eel.

Hot _damn_, but Thorin Oakenshield had a brain on him! That was some sly shit right there. She wondered if Thorin ever tried grooming his nephews to be the next crafty Durins or if it was something that family was born with, like that Durin forehead they all sported.

Now was _not_ the time. She was rather surprised to find she wasn't panicking, she hoped that at least a few of the dwarrow would be on her side. She almost allowed herself to rely on them to get her the foothold she needed in the door of this quest.

Then, she noticed their reactions.

Almost every dwarf balked at the idea. Those who did not were Balin, Fili, Kili and, strangely, Bifur. These dwarves remained quiet, waiting for more information. Other dwarves were inescapably vocal in their protests. Georgie wasn't shocked or blindsided by these protestations. In fact, she would have been more worried if certain dwarves didn't argue her travelling with them.

Dori came to mind first, and unsurprisingly, he was one of the loudest. Though she had always found a kindred soul in Dori, both being the mothering sort, she correctly assumed he would be against her in this situation. The usually domestic, grey dwarf was a traditionalist. His arguments focused on her age ("_We can't allow _children _on this quest!")_, gender ("_What use would a woman be out in the wilderness, anyhow?!")_ and safety( "_She'll be as defenseless as a wee babe!", at which she yelped in protest.)_. All of which, he complained about with equal fervor.

Next she would have bet money that the squat and sturdy brothers, Oin and Gloin, would make comments about the sacred privacy of dwarven culture, which would of course be violated to some degree with Bilbo going along, but would be _oh so much more unbearable_ with a human girl in addition. She guessed it would be those two who brought it up first, judging by Gimli's pride in his race during the Lord of the Rings movies.

She was utterly gobsmacked that such arguments were stolen from the brother's mouths by the grossly unexpected disbelief and outrage of a usually timid Ori and the wariness of star-headed Nori instead.

"You've got to be _joking!",_ squawked a frustrated Ori. Every head in the room snapped to him, giving him their undivided attention. She guessed this wasn't a normal occurrence for them, either. Ori carried on, oblivious, "This is almost entirely a company of _dwarrow_ meant to reclaim a _dwarven _homeland- a-a-and this quest could take _months!_ Maybe I've studied the wrong texts and been taught wrongly by our _elders_, but _Dwarven _Culture is meant to be kept secret from outsiders. It's one of the most important aspects of our heritage-right behind the importance of beard care!-", here Ori caught himself with a gasp of realization.

"_See!", _he exclaimed. "That's entirely my point! Even if the whole Company took care towards keeping every word, every action and every tidbit of information pertinent to Dwarven Culture sacred, how long do you _honestly_ think it would last? When do you think the first slip would occur? I would bet _mithril_ it wouldn't last longer than a few weeks, even on our best behavior.", Ori paused to breathe, pink-faced and more rumpled than Georgie had ever dreamed of him looking, with mittened hands balled into fists and young face drawn and tight at the brow. Even his mouth was tightly wound, the lips a firm line.

She was shocked and hurt to find, after her little inspection, that he was _glaring_ at _her._

"Aye-", agreed Nori. "-she could learn much about Mahal's people through careful observation over the course of a journey like ours. Being of the race of men- and I could write tomes for Ori to review on the subject of their fickle tongues-"

Here, BIlbo spluttered and began to protest on her behalf, "Now, just wait one moment, Master Dwarf! She's not some gossip-mongering Sackville-Baggins! She would never-"

He trailed off insecurely as he noticed the dwarves were keenly ignoring him in favor of Nori, who rolled along. Georgie felt for her loyal, little friend. She was grateful he had said anything.

"- we can only hope her knowledge of Dwarven culture wouldn't spread too far into through Middle Earth. There are those who would find great advantages with the information she would be able to give them.", was Ginger Thief's input.

Georgie didn't know how to respond to that. She couldn't, nor would she, deny her interest in Dwarf Culture. Hadn't she already thrown numerous comments on the subject around that evening? She had assumed they would want to trade knowledge, as she had opened conversation for over dinner, but it seemed she had misread their interest. Ori, who at dinner was one of the most curious about her culture, was now obstinately tight-lipped. Perhaps he only felt comfortable talking about culture when he thought he'd only be seeing her this one night, which wouldn't give him enough reason to hide his own culture-he probably thought he'd never see her again! She had always been intrigued by the dwarves and their culture made them who they were. Seeing that door in the process of slamming in her face, well, she couldn't help but think they wouldn't be much more willing to let her know _them_ as less legendary and aloof than their heritage.

As for Nori's snide little remarks, which she was sad to note sounded more like him stating well-known facts rather than actively trying to insult her, she was almost instantly defensive. If the dwarves ever did become comfortable enough to teach her, she wasn't some green little girl! She'd learned how to keep a secret-and was quite good at it, she thought- since she had learned what secrets were! Be it important or little, she knew she could keep in confidence any bits of Dwarven Culture she may learn a damn sight better than Bilbo could! At least _she_ wouldn't write a damn _book_ about it!

Bilbo squawked loudly at that.

Oops, looked like she said that last bit aloud. She shot an apologetic look at Bilbo, mouthing, "I'll explain later."

It didn't matter, a few beards stopped nodding with an unapologetic Nori after her unintended outburst to wag at her for giving a _green little girl_'s defense. If she weren't so offended, she might have been embarrassed by the fact that any rhetorical prowess she _thought_ she had dissolved into shallow _Will not _and _He's allowed so why can't I _arguments.

Later, she would recall that moment with no small amount of shame for her unintentional imitation of a grouchy preteen.

Some dwarves picked up on this. Some dwarves being, Bofur, Bombur, Gloin and Dori, who all argued she was much too young to risk her life on a perilous quest.

Bofur showed his concern with a kind smile, which felt to Georgie patronizing and unwanted, and a well-meant-but resolutely ignored- joke. "Lass, ye can't honestly expect us to let ye come along? Ye'd get eaten by wargs before we were a day in the wild!"

"Aye! And bein' as _young-", _if she questioned whether Bofur was patronizing, she had no such doubts about Gloin! "- as yeh are(can't be much older 'n me wee lad, Gimli!) , yeh cannae know as much as yeh'd need to survive out there. We cannae let yeh distract us from this quest, which will happen if we have to watch yer back the whole time!", Gloin tried to reason, using his fatherly lecturing skills not unkindly on her.

She bet it must prickle Gimli to be under so protective a thumb. Maybe that was why he kept trying to prove his worth with posturing and excessively manly crap during the movies (and for most of the Fellowship, which she'd been reading when she got shipped here).

Evidently, the youngest Durin also felt the sting of the old argument.

"Master Gloin! You speak of Gimli as if he is not swiftly approaching his majority! I, myself, am only a few years older and I was granted permission to accompany Uncle. Miss Georgiana-"

_Miss Georgiana_ felt a happy flutter at being addressed as such, and thank you Kili.

"-has already demonstrated countless times to our Burglar-"

Bilbo looked around the room trying to spot said burglar. She tried not to giggle. One couldn't giggle during someone's validation of one's character and still be taken seriously afterwards.

"-that she is mature enough to hold a job-"

_Not bad, Archer. Not bad._ She stood up straighter at the praise.

"-to tend to the womanly arts around the home-"

What the hell, Kili. _Womanly arts?!_ Better not be talking fuckin' _house cleaning!_

Her bristling went, thankfully unnoticed.

"-and to provide for our Burglar.", Kili finished reasonably, almost preening with pride at his defense of her character. She resolutely ignored all of the minor flaws in his wording and when he had been provided with details of her month in the Shire-And Bilbo had the nerve to tell her he didn't flap his mouth around!-, thankful to him for being, well, _him._

Georgie decided she had spent enough time that night letting others vouch for her, she needed to stick up for herself now. She straightened up, joined the Company at the table, asserting her presence in the conversation and put both hands on the tabletop, hoping to convey stalwart resolve through her body language. Even if it was partly fabricated.

"Look, gentlemen. As Nori pointed out, I have great potential for picking things up quickly-I'm positive that will transfer over to survival skills. A few days of observing and I'll know enough to get by on my own. That's all I need to start me off. The rest I can learn through experience, as I'm positive must've been the case with the warriors here. The same experience, I'll never get if y'all don't allow me to accompany you. Not to mention that many of the dwarves here have the same amount of battle experience I do! I won't be the only person unfamiliar with battle, yet I'm the only one y'all are kickin' a fuss about!", she said acerbically, glaring daggers at them underneath a furrowed brow and darkened face.

From what she saw, namely the garden of embarrassed flowers popping up like weeds on the faces of a cook, a scribe, toymaker and thief, it seemed Georgie's persuasive powers had returned at last. Serves them right to get shamed out once in a while! If they thought they could dredge up her flaws, they'd best believe she'd dish it right back!

She might have a chance, yet.

"And, as Kili has informed you, I've been taking care of myself and occasionally Bilbo-"

"Hey! I'm the elder out of the pair of us-"

"-for as long as I've been at Bag End. (Which is a little under a month.) AND, before that, I'd been living on my own for more than a year! I'm plenty mature enough to handle myself on this quest!", she finished, hands planted on hips.

"Not only has she proven her maturity to Master Baggins, she has demonstrated her usefulness to My brother and I within moments of entering Bag End. Gentlemen, who do you think provided the food for our dinner this night?", added Fili smugly.

A few dwarves looked in awe of her and she decided not to mention that she could probably only cook that in the Shire with it's stove tops and infinite ingredients. Especially when she saw Bombur go from disapproving to welcoming within the second. Well, if Fili could win over a few Company members with foody proclamations, good on him! She'd take what she could get!

She smiled brightly and gratefully to him. Then, blinked in disbelief as her smile fell a smidge.

Did he really need to puff his chest out, preening like that? She rolled her eyes at him, which got him to calm down a bit, both still grinning.

Chuckling and eager, Kili added, "Aye! And she has frequently demonstrated her sharp wit- in the form of a sharper tongue- to Fili since she met him. Me a few times, too!"

Sharp tongue? Sharp wit? Was he talking about her snarking at them, because that wasn't particularly clever. Maybe even a bit mean, if she thought about it. Maybe it was the flirting to which he referred? She did throw a few clever lines then- but nothing she'd repeat to the rest of the Company! She had a speck of shame still in her. Her cheeks went florid at the thought.

"Oh, Brother, let's not even mention her fierce protective instinct and unfathomable loyalty!", Fili chastised good-naturedly. The two seemed lost in their own world now, only egged on by her increasingly burning blushes.

"What are you two troublemakers on about?", demanded a fed up Dwalin.

"We think you already know, Master Dwalin.", answered they, together.

Balin spoke up at this, addressing the rest of the confused assembly (which, Georgie was frightened to see included Thorin, who was growing thunderous the longer his unasked question went unanswered. Georgie suspected that Dwalin actually asked so Thorin wouldn't need to.), "When the lads first arrived at this merry gathering, the young lady was the one to usher them inside. They spent quite a bit of time on the stoop- Dwalin and I were growing wary (we did not yet know who had arrived and were expecting problems)- and we were about to check on them, when they finally-" The sagely white dwarf shot the three in question an annoyed look, at which Georgie colored deeply and the Durins went unaffected. Balin addressed Thorin only at this point, "-came inside and we saw they were fine, your nephews told us about the odd greeting they that point, the young lass was away helping Master Baggins with something or another."

It would be a _tragic_ understatement to say Georgiana Chavez was mortified at this point. Without knowing how the boys spoke of her (she had tuned out of Balin's retelling in her horror), just knowing that no-nonsense Dwalin and wizened, old Balin were privy to her, admittedly hysterical, meeting with Fili and Kili was enough to make her want desperately to leave the room in shame. She had to be redder than Smaug's scales by now!

Not even going into how Thorin _bloody_ Oakenshield would take the news that the weird girl he met an hour ago had basically, damn-near _mauled_ his precociously troublesome heirs.

Oh. Oh, dear. She was shaking. That hadn't ever happened before. That, that was a bit worrisome. She hoped none of the Company noticed.

Oh. _Fuck._

_Oh, fuckity-bitchly-blops! Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn. Shit on a stick and toast. _

_The whole _Company _could probably see her making a little bitch of herself!_

It seemed Balin had just finished his little retelling, because the Company really was staring at her now. The family Ur, at least, seemed to have gotten over their dislike of her, they all chuckled over at her for her use of vernacular. She offered a shy smile back, glad to have them on her side.

Still, though, this wasn't some little joke. That little emotional moment of her could cost her a place in the Company. what if Thorin didn't let her come, after all?

_Azog's ugly _ass-crack! _This was bad. _(She didn't notice, but she spoke this thought aloud and the entire Company stiffened in their seats. Thorin winced and Dwalin looked murderous, Balin paled and Gandalf stifled a sigh. Kili was curious, but Fili took a long look at her, the one-armed fiend she threatened near them earlier. Could she have meant Azog the Defiler? He was dead. Suddenly, Fili wasn't so sure. What he was sure about, was that she had just made herself the temporary enemy number one to most of the Company. Mahal help the crazy bint, who still looked oblivious and distraught.)

She regretted not listening to the retelling. It might've helped her a bit at this point.

Dwalin slammed a fist on the table, evoking a strangled scream from Georgie's distressed throat.

"_Who are you_ to know that thrice-cursed name, Girl!", he thundered at her, completely fed up with the casual secrecy of the girl. If she thought her shaking was badly before…

"Now, Dwalin, that is no way to speak to a lady-", Gandalf tried to admonish.

"I will speak to that _wretch_ any way I choose until I get a straight answer out 'f her!",

"MASTER DWALIN!", Bilbo roared suddenly, after watching her shrink into herself for the second time that night (though this time was unintentional).

Thorin had his doubts upon meeting the hobbit. Would the smaller man be able to keep up with the gruff nature of the dwarrow or the unavoidable perils of the journey?

Thorin Oakenshield felt a bit of his doubts melt away in the wake of the hobbit's rage.

Bilbo became living ice, not only had these dwarves rudely pushed themselves into his home (he ignored that Georgie had told him they would be there earlier), they ate most of his food, and had the manners of trolls. This blockheaded _mountain_ of a dwarf had just pushed the little man over the edge, his paternal instincts came out to dance.

"You will never address Georgiana in such a disrespectful way ever again if you want to stay welcome in my home. You will allow her to explain herself- quietly and respectfully, all of you in fact-", the master of the house ordered unwaveringly to the dwarrow in his home. Turning to the young lady in his care, "-and she will give you straightforward answers to your questions when she is finished. _Is that understood?", _Bilbo demanded.

Everyone nodded, like properly rebuked dogs, their assent. Even Dwalin seemed abashed at the fierce scolding he had received from his host.

"He's right, of course.", Dwalin said softly to the girl. "I had no right to speak to a young lass in such a way, even if said lass is more secretive than any I've ever met. Please accept my humblest apologies." Over the course of his apology, Dwalin had stood up from his seat, made his way to stand directly in front of her- Georgie startled by how gigantic Dwalin really was, it hadn't registered until that point, but here in front of her, he overpowered her by his very being.- and bowed deeply upon the completion of his apology.

Georgie was gobsmacked.

She looked around the room in askance, the few eyes she managed to catch screamed for her to accept the humbling of the proud dwarf.

"A-apology accepted. Thank you, Mr. Dwalin.", she stuttered out.

A polite throat cleared, Thorin's actually. As much as he was glad further drama had been prevented, he wanted to get the girl's story out of the way quickly, so he could get to business with his Company.

"Oh! Right...my turn. Well, ye see…"

"Oh, get on with it, princess!", grumbled the exasperated Bofur, causing Georgie to blush to the roots of her hair.

"I'm not from Middle Earth-America, actually- and I know how I got here, but not how to get back to my world! Gandalf, the overly mysterious jerk, brought me here to protect the line of Durin from any future perils that might befall them, because when I saw what was going to happen I got all sad and protective and crap and-and I just really wanted to help! so he sent me here- well, actually it was Galadriel...She's probably the best, most respected elf in the world, er, this world that is (I'm pretty sure Dobby or Legolas or Elrond is the most respected elf in my world- They're all really popular, though I kinda prefer Elrond's family, Elrohir and Elladan and Arwen only sometimes, are really cool beings, at least from what I know of them, I've never actually met them)-", her words were incomprehensible to most within the Company at this point, as her nervous tongue sprinted away from her control.

Bilbo began to interrupt for clarification, but she steamrolled right past him, "Georgie what-"

"Oh! Right, sorry. I ramble sometimes when I'm nervous-or excited-or scared- or knowledgeable about something! I'm not quite sure which it is now, but it sure is hap'nin'!", a nervous giggle. "Okay, right. Yeah. Galadriel chose me to come to Middle Earth, to join this quest, so I could protect the line of Durin- obviously being The Majestic Thorin Oakenshield and his goofball nephews, Fili and Kili-", a squawk of protest from said nephews.

"As I've been informed tonight-actually right before I picked up Thorin- Gandalf was the one who brought me here upon the Lady's request.", she paused for breath and to half-heartedly glare at Gandalf, a bold action to the dwarrow and hobbit in their Company.

"Totally and utterly _AGAINST _my prior knowledge or consent, might I just add! I mean, really! You couldn't have asked nicely first? I totally would've agreed- It's Middle-damn-Earth, for Christ' sake! Not to mention I'd be protecting my favorite dwarves in the Company!", she addressed Gandalf, having temporarily forgotten about the other people in the room. Said people were absolutely flabbergasted, being no closer to tangible answers than they were twenty minutes ago.

"Lassie, would you _please_ explain? You've mentioned protecting fully trained and battle-hardy dwarves at least thrice now! The Line of Durin runs strong and is not so easily extinguished.", interjected Bombur, getting his first words of the night in.

At this painful reminder, Georgiana lost her ire at Gandalf in favor of somber remembrance of the events of the movie and book. She decided to start small, giving them a preface.

"Where I'm from, the world has advanced far, _far_ beyond what you could possibly comprehend here. There are large metal machines that can glide on stiff wings, taking passengers anywhere in the world they'd like to go in a matter of hours, where once it'd be impossible or lengthy. There are whole histories of artistic movements; music going from ballads and legends (like what's sung here a lot), to choral, to theatrical productions, to solos, to technology making most of the popular music. Art going from painting portraiture to different artistic styles (some of which I could probably demonstrate if you asked and I had the time). FOOD! Food going from simple meals to seven course dinners the size of your fist and only meant to be tasted and not solely for sustenance. Hell, in my world the technology is so advanced, you could write a message out to someone from half the world away and have them receive it within the minute!"

"This technology makes popular culture possible. It's exactly how it sounds. Culture is influenced by what's popular at the time. Especially if that thing is a book or a movie. (A movie is a moving, speaking picture that depicts a story of some kind. Like if you could capture a full play in a small box and play it over and over again according to your whim instead of waiting for the play to recirculate.)", she got a few interested gasps at that.

"One of the most popular epic tales of my world, is the tale of the Company of Thorin Oakenshield and their quest to reclaim their lost homeland, Erebor."

Bilbo looked like he would have a heart attack.

"To ensure that unnecessary changes are avoided, I won't go into details-", the statement was met with furious protestations. "-But, I will tell you all that I know how this quest is meant to end. I can tell you it ends with a crap-ton of tears and a whole shit-heap of regrets for a lot of you.", she continued solemnly, but not unaware of the plethora of sharply in-taken breaths her statement was met with.

"Inevitably, quests shape and craft bonds among warriors that are... unrivaled by other affections. By the end of this quest, every dwarf here will be like family-kin- to the dwarf on his left and right. By the end of this quest, when you have cleared the mountain of your little dragon problem, fought for the right to govern your own fuckin' kingdom by yourselves and start preparing for life after adventure, every member of this company will be trusted and love amongst each other like no one else before or after this journey ever will. Do you all understand that?", she took a breath, cataloging the steel faces of the Company, only Gandalf looked at ease.

"The biggest obstacle on this quest won't be facing down that annoying dragon or finding our ways through the wilderness toward the mountain. The biggest, most inescapable obstacle for this Company will be Azog the Defiler.", she addressed the congregation of dwarves, hobbit and wizard.

"I'm sorry, who is Azog the Defiler?", asked Bilbo with polite expectancy. He had taken the news of her otherworldly status very well for the easily shocked hobbit she knew he could be. Georgiana couldn't have known, but Bilbo had long expected his tenant was not from around here. She was just a bit too strange, too foreign, to even pass off being from over the Misty Mountains, and they had a strange culture, the race of man from Gondor and Rohan did! He wouldn't have guessed another world, but he did know she was special.

Besides, young ladies from Middle Earth simply didn't know all of the bawdy, raunchy songs and innuendos and jokes that Georgiana Chavez knew by heart.

"The Defiler is the most vile creature to ever walk this earth, Bilbo Baggins. We'd all be much better off never meeting him if we can help it.", supplied Gandalf.

Bilbo paled considerably.

Georgiana sighed and turned to Thorin, Fili and Kili (and Dwalin and Balin, who were seated close by), "I know that as soon as you get far enough, Azog will begin hunting you in earnest. We probably have a few weeks we don't need to worry. I know the day he will begin his hunt, though not the exact date, I know that at one point he will get close enough to force the Company to make a long-distance sprint for safety and I know that he will be on your tail ends until we finally reach Erebor. The reason I need to come along on your quest is so I can help y'all avoid him in any ways you can. If I told you tonight, not only would the quest be changed beyond repair, but you'd probably forget something big halfway there, or get yourselves lost irreparably while trying to avoid their trail. I can't let that happen."

The Company took a moment to let her words, now slow and strong, to sink in. They were all nodding pensively.

"Besides!", started Georgie in a much brighter tone. "Someone needs to look out for my dear Mr. Baggins along the way!"

Bilbo snapped to her, "What!? Me? I'm not- Georgiana, really! I'm not going on this quest! I couldn't possibly….What reason would I have for going?"

Gandalf stepped up to explain, "Far to the East, over ranges and rivers, beyond woodlands and wastelands, lies a single, solitary peak."

Suddenly the meeting much more closely resembled the movie.

While Gandalf was explaining the advantages to having a Burglar-hobbit, Thorin was asking Balin to write up Georgiana's Company contract and Fili and Kili were excitedly adding their input into the plans for the quest.

Georgie tuned out a bit, recovering from the ordeal it was to explain her situation and still not get an answer in return about if she could join the quest. At this point, she was just gonna tag the hell along and hope they wouldn't frackin' stone her or something equally stupid and barbaric!

Before she could totally lose herself to the calming song lyrics she had been trying to call to mind, her attention was rudely snatched away by Fili, who had just begun speaking.

"We may be few in number. But we're fighters, all of us! To the last dwarf, man, wizard and hobbit!", he declared proudly, and a bit boyishly, reminding Georgie of the fabled kings of old, who might've accompanied King Arthur at the Round table for tea or some shite.

"And we have a wizard in our Company! Gandalf will have killed _hundreds_ of dragons in his time!", Kili added gleefully.

Gandalf looked highly uncomfortable and Georgie didn't even try to hide her raucous laughter or the vengeful smirk blossoming on her face. Serves him right! If she had to go through discomfort at the hands of inquisitive dwarves, he could, too!

"Oh, well. No, uh, I...I wouldn't say…"

"Yes, Gandalf! How many was it, then? The dragons that you've slain.", threw in Georgie with no remorse.

"You also have in your Company a world-traveller! One keen of eye, eager to serve and determined to see this journey succeed to its fullest!", Gandalf, that sneaky bastard, tossed out to the wolfish dwarrow.

She was going to kill him. She only hoped Galadriel didn't mind the lack of Grey wizard for use in terrorizing the people of Middle Earth.

"He's right! She knows everything! We can't possibly fail now!", Kili, blessed, overeager and dear, though he was to her, was a complete dumbass.

"Enough! If we have read these signs, do you not think others will have read them too? Rumors have begun to spread. The dragon Smaug has not been seen for sixty years. Eyes look East to the mountain, assessing, wondering, weighing the risk. Perhaps the vast wealth of our people now lies unprotected. Do we sit back while others claim what is rightfully ours? Or do we seize this chance to take back Erebor?", Thorin questioned his people.

"You forget the front gate is sealed. There is no way into the mountain.", Balin informed, quite annoyingly.

"Way to be a Debby Downer, Dude."

Balin only acknowledged her insult insomuch as he could glare at her disapprovingly.

Gandalf grinned, "That, my dear Balin, is not entirely true."

Thorin was in awe looking at the squat, dusty key like it was his soul in metal form, "How came you by this?"

"It was given to me by your father, Thrain, for safekeeping. It is yours now."

_Gandalf, stop being so damned mysterious all the time. You don't need to have everyone become putty when you speak to them. It's really rude, man!_

Luckily, she had kept her mouth shut as she thought this. She wondered when-

"If there is a key, there must be a door!"

-there it is! "Fili, your superior use of intellect absolutely astounds me! Where have you been hiding your brilliance?!", Georgie teased.

Kili guffawed at that. Fili blushed, punched Kili's shoulder and glared at Georgie.

"These runes speak of a hidden passage to the lower halls.", Gandalf added, a bit too smugly for comfort.

"There's another way in!", it was Kili's turn to make an unneeded and obvious statement. He seemed quite proud of himself.

Georgie facepalmed and sighed. Fili caught on and snickered.

"Thorin you must be so proud of your nephews' mental agility."

"They have their days.", he grumbled.

Gandalf went on to explain the hidden door and how Bilbo was a necessity.

Bilbo fainted when Bofur began his colorful description of the dragon, Smaug.

Everyone rushed over to him, Georgie fetched a vase of water and dumped it on him.

"Struck by lightning! Struck by lightning!", the poor man shrieked upon waking.

Georgie knelt at his side, supporting him and rubbing soothing circles on his back and shoulders.

"You're fine, Bilbo. Nothing happened. Nobody's gonna strike you with lightning. Dragons aren't even that scary! I'm right here, nothing will get you with me here.", she mumbled soothing nothings into his hair to calm him down, glaring fiercely at an abashed Bofur.

After a moment or two, Bilbo calmed down enough to feel embarrassed. The poor, little man felt he had every right to be! For all that she was a marvelous house guest, his tenant had a horrific habit of being overly familiar with his person, it wouldn't do at all! Perhaps a short trip with these dwarves would teach her about boundaries? The idea merited further thought.

For now, Bilbo just wanted a bit of space and his armchair. Mortified, but always polite, Bilbo decided to put some gentle distance between them, shooing her off of him with rose-cheeked platitudes. ("ah, thank you, Georgie. I'm fine, I'll be fine now.")

She helped him up, asking if he needed anything, to which he asked for tea, thanks.

While he was recovering his dignity, Thorin approached her with her own contract, a much shorter document with hasty, but still more beautiful than her own could ever hope to become, handwriting.

"If you are to be an official member of my Company, you will need to sign the contract. It covers funeral arrangements, monetary reward and other terms identical to the Halfling's-"

"Bilbo. His name is Bilbo Baggins. You should get used to saying it, he'll be around a very long time.", she corrected absently as she read through the paper.

She didn't need to, she knew she would sign it anyway, but it was a good habit of hers.

"Yes, well. It's similar to Master Baggin's, then.", Thorin supplied uncomfortably.

She chuckled. It was a start. Bagginshield was practically cannon, she needn't worry much over the strength of their soon-to-be friendship.

The only notable difference in Bilbo and her contracts, was that Georgie would have the chance to vie for a home in Erebor, with a governmental position (to be determined later) should she want it, upon the successful completion of the quest on the condition that she fulfilled her word and the Durin heirs survived.

It did not mention that Thorin had to survive.

Her heart broke for him.

She took the proffered pen from Thorin's hand and signed without hesitation or second thoughts of any kind.

Turning to look at him, she touched his arm and swore, "I'll do my best to protect you, too, Your Majesty. I'm honor-bound and loyal to you more than any other dwarf. Even over Bilbo, perhaps."

"Though the thought is appreciated, my nephews come first. If it ever comes down to it, protect them first.", he ordered with a softly resigned look on his kingly face.

"I promise." _I promise that if it kills me, all three of you will lead long, wonderfully mundane lives at the end of this._

He nodded and went to find Balin.

A fire lit behind her sunflower field eyes. She would save them, all of them. And help Bilbo. She turned to gather her and Bilbo's things, knowing Bilbo was being convinced by Gandalf and would appreciate a loaded pack tomorrow morning when he would join the Company of Thorin Oakenshield late.

Only one dwarf saw her go with the heat still breathing in her grassy orbs.

He went to find his brother.

**Hey, people! So, seven chapters before my first author's note. Not too bad, eh? I figure I should clear some things up, seeing as the reviews I've gotten were all from curious guests. (all of whom should make accounts so I can chat you up in a bit more detail than out here in the ether)**

**This isn't my first fanfic, but it is the first story I've considered even vaguely decent. I took two other stories down because they were so cringe-worthy and awkward. I have my fingers crossed that this one is coming along better! **

**Now to the questions and comments.**

**Two of you asked if this would end up a Fili/OC fic. I honestly have no idea. At this point, I'm not sure how I would go about writing that relationship in. It might happen, it might not. But I can definitely see how you could think it's heading that way. **

**At this point of the story, those two have just met. There is no instant chemistry, neither of them is going to stay with the other out of unadulterated love, Georgie isn't gonna stay just for Fili. They just met that day! The reason they click so well together is a combo of reasons. **

**Georgie is equally loyal/ devoted to/ protective over each dwarf in the Company (and Bilbo and Gandalf). The reason its so visible with the younger Durins is b/c they're closer to her age (and probably remind her of her friends back home) and are easier to connect with. They still jack around, still laugh at nonsense. That makes her instantly comfortable with them. Kili reminds her of Max. And Fili is that guy that's really sweet and won't mind if she blows off a bit of steam by flirting shamelessly with him. He's that friend. Those two aren't smitten (yet, if the story goes that way, and it might), just open.**

**Fili puts up with (and dishes back) Georgie's flirtations, probably because it's been so long since he could relax enough to woo a random girl. He was probably quite the stud muffin before he had to settle down in preparation for the quest. Thorin wouldn't let him or Kili come along if he saw them still goofing around with barmaids and shopkeeper's daughters like dwarves under their majority. Those two probably had to work for a few months to make it seem they were mature enough to tag along. When Fili meets Georgie, he's just flirting with her to have a bit of lighthearted fun where he can. Nothing indelicate (unless its from her), just fun. It feels nice to get some attention from a nice girl again. **

**Kili just gets the chance to laugh at them.**

**If this does end up going in that direction, rest assured. Georgie isn't going to magically become a Mary Sue. I'm trying really hard to keep her realistic. When Fili/Kili first saw her she wasn't some Barbie doll, she was "sturdy", (I played around with the word thick in early drafts), she's a curvy, mostly unathletic (you'll really see that in the warg chase scene) girl with arms and legs a bit fluffier than others and much less used, but with potential for strength and power of limb. She won't get skinny, probably ever. She's a curvy thing, short and squarish (not round, but not lithe either). She also doesn't act like a proper lady would, though she'll have moments when she'll try really hard at it. She might succeed sometimes, but probs not. She laughs like a teenaged boy. She smiles like an imp. No, I don't plan on making her "oh so bootiful", a hawty or anything else Mary Sue-ish. **

**She'll probably learn defense from one of the dwarves. She's already prepared herself to learn on the go. **

**I'm still working on the things I want to change.**

**Sorry for the monstrous Author's Note and the equally monstrous chapter lengths! It can't be easy to read through in one sitting. I promise I'll work on writing shorter chapters, but be patient with me, this is my first serious attempt at writing.**

**Much love,**

**PB**


	8. Dorothy in Reverse

She swore she had no idea how she woke up in her bedroom back home.

It was impossible! There was no way she was already back so soon! Maybe she was dreaming...

She had only _just_ finished packing Bilbo and her own packs! She still had to double check that she included her emergency lady supplies, Bilbo's second (and third) surplus pipeweed bags (she never approved of his smoking, but she understood that he might need the bargaining chip if push came to shove with the Company. It was the finest pipeweed in Middle Earth, according to Gandalf, and Thorin might appreciate the gift if it came from the burglar.), all of their socks and everything else she could think of that needed doing while she could be there and not here!

She had been settling herself into bed- the Company having sung (and _oh, how blessed I am to have heard it!), _Bilbo gone off to bed, Gandalf kicked out to smoke in the garden (he had tried lighting up in the living room, but Georgie would have none of it), and everything that needed doing as a host having been done- when everything went black, as if she had fainted and she _fell asleep._

Maybe _this _wasn't the dream. But could she really dream up three weeks of Shire vacation? Georgie didn't think she was that creative, but maybe she was losing her mind.

She jerked upright in her queen bed. Took a few gulping breaths to calm herself

No. She wasn't really back and she was in full control of her faculties. This was the dream.

A cardinal chirped outside. The wind whispered past the window.

_She could hear wheels whirring down Main Street a few streets over._

Okay, so maybe it was real. She was really back.

_Why?! _

That didn't matter right then, she needed to ask different questions. Shoulders and hands and neck quivered. The charms of her necklace jingled violently and she had to fight to stifle nervous giggling.

_How? I'm supposed to be with Bilbo and the Company…(maybe I dreamt the whole thing up.)_

She took a few deep breaths. In. Out. In. Hold. Out. In. Hold. Out. _Calm down and stop being such a pussy..._That thought sounded remarkably like Melanie, but was still pretty rude of her to think_... Calm down and stop being a little bitch? No, that's no better and it still sounds like Mel. _

_Think, Georgiana, think! Focus! Stop being an idiot!_

Good God.

She was a complete and utter _moron._

She threw the blanket off and checked her clothes.

_Thank you, God._

They weren't her usual sleep pants and baggy t-shirt.

She was wearing a green, cotton _nightgown_.

_It wasn't a dream and I'm not crazy! _

Suddenly, she barked. A loud, hot, quick burst of relieved air leaving her body. Then, she started laughing in earnest.

_I seriously almost had a panic attack over nothing._ She grinned. _I really need to lay off the TNT after work! The Drama is becoming too much! _She giggled, the kind that had her shoulders shaking and diaphragm jumping. She took a few moments to calm down and smile that she wasn't crazy.

It was actually _really wonderful_ being back home, now that she knew for sure she could travel back and forth. She didn't exactly know _how, _and of course she knew she'd need to figure that out eventually, but she didn't care at the moment. She was _home _for the first time in almost a month! She nestled back into her covers, warm and soft and smelling like Spring fabric softener. Her back rejoiced by burrowing into her mattress, which was (to her) perfectly lumped around to plush softness. She inhaled the dust from her shelves and the linger of cheap body sprays and half-decent perfume on the air around the room.

Finally, she got out of bed, stretching her sleep-stiff muscles, craning her neck to the ceiling and rolling it around a bit, before (literally) _rolling_ herself out of her bed and onto the flower carpeted floor, just because _she could _and it was _her floor. _She missed being able to lie down on her own carpet. The rug wasn't very thick and she might as well have lied down on Bilbo's hardwood floors for the difference the "plush" brand of carpet made, but _oh_ did it feel _exquisite_ to feel her carpet on her back and then knees and then under her feet.

She made her bed and sorted the clothes that were stuffed or folded into her dresser. She changed into some of her comfiest clothes, a pair of bootcut jeans, a starchy-but-flexible t-shirt and a baggy Seattle sweatshirt.

For now, she decided, she was going to enjoy her, hopefully brief, coming home.

A few minutes later, a large bowl of granola cereal made its way into the sink and ice cream was started in on.

She checked her phone. It was the morning after she went to see The Battle of Five Armies.

She did not see that coming. Originally, she figured time would pass the same way in both worlds, but maybe this is what Gandalf meant when he told her that her lifespan would be a bit longer than normal.

She really hoped he only meant a _bit. _It would _suck_ to outlive her friends and family.

For the next few hours, she reconnected with a few of the friends she hadn't spoken to in a while, checking on them in case she wasn't to return for a while.

After, she turned up some music (Thriving Ivory for then, Maroon 5 after) while she cleaned up her small house, reading to Adam Levine when that was done and relishing in the technology she was surrounded by as she enjoyed her modern creature comforts.

But in spite of how wonderful her day back had been, Georgie knew that all vacations came to an end eventually when there remains work to be done. She needed to try going back now.

When she attempted to return, she wanted to have a few things with her, small things to remind her of home while traipsing through the terrain of Middle Earth. The first was her battered copy of _Phantom_, followed by her toothbrush, some modern girl supplies, and a large bundle of handkerchiefs.

Settling herself onto the bed, she tried meditating. She tried something she read in a Harry Potter fanfic once, Harry was trying to become an animagus and had to meditate, she closed her eyes and tried to become aware of every element of her body, starting with toes and fingers and moving inward to her core and then up to her head.

Although she felt a lot more relaxed, and almost fell asleep, she opened her eyes to find herself still on her bed.

She tried thinking about the Shire, and its rolling, evergreen hills. Peaceful, beautiful and homey.

Still home. Crap.

Now, she was getting worried. _Okay, just try something else, it's fine._

She thought of her mom and dad, Melanie and Max. Her friends from College and from highschool. She thought about everything she's accomplished since then and how she wanted to leave it all behind.

It was a very powerful feeling she was getting from that last try. Made her feel all warm and giggly inside.

Still here. Fuck.

Maybe she should try something a little less detailed? _There's no place like Middle Earth. There's no place like Middle Earth. There's no place like Middle Earth..._

Evidently, simple wouldn't help her much. _Oh, how I long for the days of easy problems. Give me crayon wars any day!_

What if she thought about the people of Middle Earth, instead? Or the places.

Yeah, she'd try places first, less creepy.

Moria, the Shire, the Blue Mountains, Gondor, Rohan (freaking pansies that they were, stupid Theoden King, getting mind-controlled so easily…), Mordor, Rivendell, the Iron Hills, Silverlode, Enedwaith, Minas Tirith, Erebor.

She felt the longing to one day see all of those places, even the bad ones, felt it tug at her heartstrings.

There! She felt something! A little something, and it might have even been mistaken for gas, but it was there!

She thought harder, Galadriel, Gandalf, Elrond, Arwen, Elrohir, Elladan, Haldir, Celebrian, Celeborn. Too many elves, the feeling was fading. Maybe it would work better if she thought about things she had personally connected with?

She thought of Hamfast Gamgee and how much she wanted to bid him farewell and thank him for his help.

Of Lobelia Sackville-Baggins and her almost encounter with the woman. (Georgie was coming home from a long day at the apothecary's and another pre-adventure supply run when she had seen a young woman snootily dishing out snide comments to some of the booth holders with whom she had become friends. Because the other woman hadn't yet seen her lurking behind the stalls with their owners-Georgie enjoyed chatting with the hobbits, who were as talkative as she was-, Georgie was able to slip a toy snake into Lobelia's shopping basket, right beside a lovely pie, for the woman to stumble upon later. The snake was paid for, of course.)

Georgie thought of the shenanigans to which she wanted to introduce Bilbo. She figured he could still enjoy a good prank, despite how prim he was in his young dotage.

The feeling was coming back now, stirring her chest, as if a strong wind were beginning to blow on her. Though, to say this wind blew _on_ her would be a mistake. This wind blew straight through her chest and back as if she were a tunnel and not a person. She didn't bother containing her grin of excitement.

_Who else have I met in the Shire?_

_Bingo!_

She thought of rugged, bald Dwalin and his gentler, whiter brother, Balin and how she wanted the opportunity to have a nice _long _conversation with them both. About weaponry and training or Erebor and the cultures surrounding from the respective brothers. She knew they would have much to say on both.

She thought of the Ur family and the brothers Ri. Bombur, she knew would be eating out of her hands if she ever told him about the foods from this world and she couldn't wait. Bifur, she could already tell was on her side, and she'd love to thank him and try talking to him, for the challenge of nonverbal communication and for the nonjudgmental company. Bofur...well, she just wanted to talk to him about anything! Maybe request a story or two…

Dori, she wanted to talk tea. She wanted to ask Nori to teach her pickpocketing, so she could finally steal Melanie's phone without her notice at the next family gathering. And for Ori, she wanted to apologize for her insatiable curiosity and request a more Dwarf-acceptable means of learning about the dwarrow. She wouldn't just give up her hunt for knowledge of the legendary people, but she would ask if there were culturally acceptable ways for her to learn.

She only glossed over Oin and Gloin, picturing them in her mind and lightly thinking of medical discussions with Oin and childcare conversations with Gloin. Both would come in handy regardless of the world in which she would be stationed.

The gust of wind had become an internal tornado, twisting her guts in their places and filling her lungs. The inner wind fought to freeze her thoughts , but she focused as hard as she could on her goal. She was almost there, she could feel it! _I just need to think a little more deeply..._

Lastly, she thought about her reason for going to Middle Earth in the first place; the heirs of Durin.

Of Thorin, she pictured how his face would beam when they finally reached the mountain and he could open the halls of his ancestors to his beloved Company, and his thrice beloved nephews.

With Fili, she imagined planning intricate pranks to pull on Kili and Thorin and Bilbo- pranks so flawless, they wouldn't be caught, or if they were, it would be worth it!

The last thought Georgiana Chavez had before the torrential winds blew her away from her home, was of Kili and how hard they would laugh if she ever got the courage to really scandalize the Company of dwarves. Maybe, when the time came, Kili would help her stage a crazy fight or some outrageous emotional talk with Fili...or better, _Thorin! I can see their faces now!_

She laughed herself right back to Bag End.


	9. Bilbo Baggins' Boring First Day

He woke up strangely early. Of course, like most hobbits, he didn't make it a habit to arise later than second breakfast-or first, if he could help it! Still, Bilbo Baggins was a touch confused as to why exactly he had woken up so early that the sunlight, which usually had crossed his armchair to greet him in the mornings, had only just begun to ooze in through his window.

_It must be earlier than nine, perhaps even earlier than eight!, _thought the gentile hobbit as he stretched and collected his sleep muddled thoughts. He was only just beginning to wonder what it was that had woken him up when he heard it.

_Thump thump thump._

"Master Boggins? Are you up yet?", called a young voice.

Poor Bilbo couldn't, for the life of him, recall to whom the voice belonged. Nor could he recall _why_ the holder of the voice was in his home, getting his (easy enough, he thought) name wrong!

_Thump thump thump._

"Master Boggins? Really, you cannot _possibly_ snooze on while this great oaf knocks on your door, can you? I daresay that would be a talent all its own!", came a second voice, not two moments later. This voice was a bit deeper than the first, and drew to mind blonde braids for some strange reason.

As this new voice bickered with the old ("_Oaf!? Who're you calling an oaf, Brother? You're more likely to be _oafish!" "_Me? Oafs are notoriously rude, I am a gentledwarf! Though I can certainly think of someone who acts oafish! YOU, for instance!"), _Bilbo pondered this new information.

_Dwarves and braids, hm? How peculiar! Dwarves wear braids just like hobbit lasses, how funny! Still, dwarves...Dwarves, dwarves, dwarves…_

"_Dwarves!", _Bilbo shouted excitedly, at last remembering why there were strangers in his home.

"Er, yes? Dwarves we are, yes.", answered back the first voice, who Bilbo now believed belonged to one of the younger dwarves, er, dwarrow currently in his home, Kili.

A short smack was heard, accompanied by a complaint before the second voice chastised, "Way to state the obvious, Kee! _Very _unlike an oaf!"

_Hm, Kili, Kili, Kili….Kili and his older brother...Oh, Georgie would know this! Let's see, Kili and his older brother…_

"Fili!", _that's what it was! "_Fili! Lad, where'd you and young Kili wander off to? There are things to be done yet before we may set out."

Bilbo got dressed while the third, much older voice, of...Balin sought the two young dwarrow.

"Master Balin! We were just assuring for ourselves that our host was awake and preparing to take his leave with the rest of the Company.", called out Fili.

"Aye! You needn't have worried, Master Balin! We were only doing what any _responsible_ dwarrow would've!", added Kili, who sounded smug.

Bilbo heard Balin grunt as he approached the door as the hobbit routed through his drawers for a clean shirt, "And you pestering Master Baggins has nothing at all to do with finding his more feminine guest so you can pester her, I take it?"

Bilbo's keen ears perked up at this and he shoved his arms into the first shirt he could find, rushing through the rest of his morning routine to avoid missing this conversation.

If Bilbo had woken and finished dressing sooner, he would have seen the red tint on the boys' faces, one from getting caught and the other from giving his brother one more thing to tease about.

"You mean Miss Georgiana? OH, _Fili_ here just wished to bid the lady good morning! There is nothing _pestering_ about that! And besides-"

"We had trouble finding her on our own, Master Balin, as Kili probably scared her off with his oafish nature. So I decided to enlist the help of her favorite male in the house. One Master-"

"Boggins! Who knows her a great deal more than Fili or I do, and would therefore-"

"Know exactly where to find her!"

"In the case that it was actually _Fili's_ trollish charm that frightened the lady away!"

At this point, Bilbo had finally finished dressing and threw open the door, before Balin-or worse, the bothersome brothers- could get another word in.

"Who is ready for breakfast?", the hobbit-host asked cheerfully.

He was greeted with a trio of, "Master Baggins!" He chose to ignore that two of these greetings were mispronounced.

"I trust you are well rested?", began Balin, politely.

"Oh, he must be very well rested to have slept through the caterwauling Kili was doing earlier!", Fili answered for him, to which Bilbo hm'd and started for the kitchen.

"I do not caterwaul! And even if I did, it would be as music next to the screeching of your voice!", rejoined Kili.

Bilbo ignored them both and answered Balin that yes, he had a lovely lie down and was eager to begin the day, and who else was awake if he might ask?

As they entered the kitchen, Bilbo received his answer.

Every last dwarrow from the night previous had found their own corner of his kitchen in which to relax and enjoy a delicious smelling breakfast.

"Nevermind, Master Balin. I seem to have answered myself."

But where was Georgiana? Bilbo looked all about the kitchen and, as he did not find her there, looked in askance of the two brother-dwarves.

"If you're wondering where she is, she's the reason we went to wake you up. We've looked all over the grounds-", began Kili.

"Frightened a few neighbors, I should say!", added Bofur, cheerfully.

"-In the smial, anywhere we could think, really! Only, Uncle wouldn't let us go all the way down to the market-"

"-said it would be too easy to 'lose our way'."

The brothers looked at each other for a long, silent moment, before cracking into grins and giggles.

"Did you check on top of the hill, under the tree? She sometimes goes there at night to stargaze. Maybe she fell asleep up there? It's happened before.", Bilbo supplied.

The dwarrow each sported faces of contemplation, answering sheepishly as one, "We hadn't considered there, actually."

"I did. Checked earlier, while everyone was still asleep. Only, it wasn't so much checking as it was me satisfying a curiosity.", threw in Ori, shyly.

In actuality, the young scribe woke early needing to void his bladder and afterward decided to assuage his guilt for his rude outburst the evening before. Even if he still did not fully welcome the idea of a human woman attending the quest, it gave him no right to yell about it like a child. And so he had meant to find the young lady in order to apologize.

Bilbo looked at the scribe in brief disbelief. Then, shaking his head clear of any rude thoughts that may have come up in retaliation to the man, began fixing himself and Georgiana a plate full of breakfast.

"She'll turn up when she means to, always does.", he assured calmly, though he felt a growing worry build in his chest.

Almost immediately after his statement, Gandalf sauntered into the shrinking kitchen, smugly adding, "A bit like a wizard, our young Miss." He was still chuckling as he stole the man-sized seat from the roundest dwarf...Bombur?...along with a buttered roll.

"Let us hope she does not share the same code of punctuality as a wizard", muttered the lead dwarf entering after the Grey Wizard, who Bilbo believed was named Thrain? No, Thror? No, something else 'Th-'..."Thorin?"

"Yes?", the dwarf in question acknowledged Bilbo expectantly.

"Oh! No, sorry, I was just, hm, I was just trying to recall names. You see it's quite rude to, um, to not know who you'll be journeying with for the next few months.", stuttered Bilbo nervously.

"Oh?", asked Thorin lowly, voice reminding Bilbo of rich, brown earth being shoveled aside for flowers. "And, pray tell, Master Baggins, how many names you have thus far mastered?"

There came a few giggles from the King's nephews, accompanied by some small packs of coins being passed about under tables and behind chairs.

"Well, let's see…", began the hobbit, trying not to shake. He looked to the left corner of the room, deciding to start there, "There's Bi-Bifur! Then, um, I believe that's Bom-no! Bofur, _then_ Bombur! They're all cousins, yes?"

"Quite.", nodded Thorin solemnly. "Continue."

A gulp. "Next, are…" _Red hair, red hair. Fili has reddish hair, so does Bombur and Nori! "_Next, is Nori! Followed by his older brother...Ori-no, no. D-Dori! Older brother Dori, then Ori...Who is seated by Fili and Kili-you're nephews."

Thorin was beginning to fight off a slow building grin. He was pleased to see that gandalf had not exaggerated the man's intelligence by much. Being able to name nine out of thirteen dwarves was nothing at which to smirk and he mentally applauded the halfling.

Bilbo noticed a few nods of encouragement sent his way and continued. "The dwarf sitting to the right of Gandalf is Balin, and his brother, Dwalin is by the counter. The last two...um...he's...uh…"

With only two dwarves to go, the Company had begun to cheer encouragement for the little man.

"Come on, Lad! It's not difficult!", called...Bombur, stuffing a piece of toast into his large mouth.

"Ye can do it, Halfling!", shouted another.

"I bet on you, Master Boggins! Don't make me regret it!", added Fili, who was quickly joined by Kili, much to the disapproval of their kingly Uncle.

Bilbo tried to recall Gandalf's introductions from the evening before, but all he could remember was that the red-bearded one had a young son, Gimli, whose name Georgiana immediatedly brightened upon hearing, and the ear-trumpet wielding brother was a healer.

_Healer, healer, healer...healers use medicine. Medicine comes in the form of ointment...Ointment, ointment,oint- "_Oin! You-", he pointed to the correct dwarf, "-are Oin! Which means you-", he, again, pointed to the correct dwarf. "-must be Gloin!"

The kitchen erupted into loud cheers and merry laughter. Money pouches were tossed around while Thorin congratulated the Company burglar on his keen memory, silently applauding the money he just won from Gandalf, who had bet against twenty minutes ago.

"Alright, alright! That's enough!", Thorin ended the revelry after a few good moments. "We must prepare to leave Bag End, now. Fili, Kili, tend to the ponies. Ori, Dori, please set to rights Master Baggins' Study and Kitchen. Bombur, Bofur, Bifur, pack up all food that can be taken on an extended journey...On second thought, Bombur, I want you to help Nori, Oin and Gloin with cleaning up our quarters from last night. Balin, Dwalin and I will oversee that everything gets packed away properly and set with respective ponies. Any questions?"

"Um, yes!", Thorin turned to the bright red halfling with a single, raised eyebrow. Bilbo would get very familiar with this raised eyebrow in the coming months. "What should Gandalf and I do, then?"

Thorin had forgotten about the last two, no, three Company members, preferring to take care of his dwarrow first, Bilbo saw, though was happy to note Thorin covered his lapse well, as he easily supllied, "I believed you, the girl and the wizard would need to finish last-moment packing. You should do that, or make arrangements for your home to be cared for while you are away."

"Right! Thanks!", with that, Bilbo went off to pack. He nearly tripped over a large, green travel pack that rested beside his bedroom door. It had a note with sharp, scratchy handwriting upon it, reading, "Bilbo. I've been putting this together for a week now. It has all of the essentials I could think of, including a handkerchief. You're very welcome. Love, Georgie."

Under the note lay his maroon travel jacket, which he put on while silently thanking his young charge for her consideration. He returned the favor by finding her own travel pack and carrying it to the ponies outside, telling Fili, who he believed was a touch more responsible, to watch the young lady's things, but not snoop! While he went to find her.

Thirty minutes later, with nary a sign of Georgiana, Thorin finally tired of waiting and told Bilbo to instruct his employees to send her their way if they saw her that morning.

Bilbo fretted a bit, but Gandalf reassured him that she would come.

That statement begat a whole round of betting on whether the human girl would really show or not.

Bilbo, Gandalf, Fili and Kili, Bifur, Balin and Thorin( and privately Ori) bet that she would make her presence known before the Company reached the outskirts of Hobbiton. The rest of the Company either bet she would not show up or would show sometime before they exited the Shire.

An hour passed, as the Company-lead by Thorin until Fili queried the wisdom of letting the dwarf notorious for getting himself lost lead them out of the Shire- made its way to Bree.

The journey was _slow_.

The conversation was slightly lacking, as the Company of dwarrow seemed perfectly content to silently marvel the topography of Bilbo's homelands. The same "quaint, little" lands Bilbo had explored ad nauseum, and by now knew better than anyone had right to question him about.

When Bilbo allowed his unexpected housemate to convince him to come along on this "mad, dangerous" quest, he had expected it to be a touch more exciting than Dori and Oin discussing the medical merits of the native shrubbery or Dwalin and Gloin marveling at the tiny and "easily breakable" fauntlings that happened to run past the strange, pony caravan.

The entire Company, with the odd exception of the Durins and Balin, were gobsmacked when the mountainous Dwalin was seen marveling, and- though he tried to hide it- _cooing_ at the "adorable, wee bairns", who were brave or curious enough to attempt conversation with the "scary dwarf". Bilbo had to admit, it was a rather adorable sight and he was certainly glad he hadn't missed it as Georgie had! (He might not have ever believed the tale otherwise, though he would be sure to tell Georgiana all about it.)

But, as the Company was still largely distrustful, or in the very least wary, of their newfound burglar, Bilbo was left out of most of the morning's conversations.

He did try to participate every now and again. The Baggins in him would never forgive him if he didn't at least make the effort to speak with the troupe of dwarrow. Yet, despite his best, most wholehearted efforts, most of the Company remained aloof.

All poor Bilbo could do was sit quietly, and uncomfortably (though he tried to keep his complaints to a minimum), and listen to the quotidian observations the dwarrow kept making about a land he knew like the back of his own hand!

Bilbo swore, if he had to sit quietly as _one. More. of these insular Dwarrow. _noted, patronizingly, how _homely_ his Shire was, or how the nearby hobbits were so much more _peaceful_ and _certainly not built for fighting like the sturdiest of dwarrow were,_ he would take the white, embroidered handkerchief Georgiana had so deliberately packed inside his jacket pocket and stuff it down the throat of the dwarf unlucky enough to have denigrated the customs of hobbits last. _That would teach them something about the 'dove-like nature' of hobbits! _Bilbo Baggins was _certainly_ not so far from his tween years that making this japing bunch eat crow for their bigotry was beneath him.

Yavanna, but Bilbo wished Georgiana would hurry it up already and join them!

As the hobbit, who was more likely to go postal on the Company with every passing minute, fought to restrain his more violent urges-a Baggins will always find more _proper_ forms of revenge, after all- Thorin was eyeing the shifty man from the front of the troupe.

"Master Baggins!", the kingly dwarf called deeply, with his voice- which Bilbo couldn't help but compare to melted granite ore, both being thick and smooth, flowing freely and with a certain self-made assurance that Bilbo could not yet fathom. Thorin's voice, Bilbo thought, much like melted stone lead the observer to reach an unexpected calm, being both soft and low, firm and coaxing. It was no small wonder Thorin Oakenshield was the leader of this Company. With a voice like that, Bilbo was positive he could _lead_ more than half of the Shire to do his bidding! Even his dreaded cousin, the bellicose Lobelia Sackville-Baggins, would be at Thorin Oakenshield's mercy should he turn his natural weapon on the unsuspecting woman!

Not that Bilbo was immune to the persuasive layers of that voice.

Not that Bilbo, a Baggins of Bag End in the Shire, would ever allow himself to focus more than the likeness of a passing fancy on the soothing smoothness of the Company leader's voice! That would be absurd! Thorin was only one dwarf, after all, and he was so much more important than Bilbo, himself, was! To fancy even friendship would be a fool's hope, certainly! And, for that matter, since when did Bilbo Baggins _ever _put so much thought to an acquaintance's _voice_, of all silly things?!

He must have been spending a bit too much time with Georgiana Chavez if he was waxing poetic about some bloke's ruddy voice! He'd have to have a little chat with the girl about keeping her very improper, though also very funny, observations and opinions to herself from now on.

Speaking of chatting, Thorin was still calling Bilbo!

"Er, yes?", Bilbo answered, finally regaining his head.

"Ah! So the burglar _can _hear, after all!", Thorin caustically threw back., much to the amusement of his fellows and the embarrassment of Bilbo.

"Um, yes? I beg your pardon, I was a touch distracted just now.", Bilbo supplied, waging war against the deep, florid flushing of his cheeks at the thought of what had distracted him so.

"It does not matter, Halfling-", at this, Bilbo lost his battle with blushing, only now it was an angry rather than humiliated flushing that bloomed upon his cheek. "I only meant to call you to ride at my side for a league or two, so you may guide us through your homelands. I believe you would be more at ease with this task than Balin, as he has not come farther than Bree through the lands of the Shire for many a decade."

Bilbo managed to control his flaming cheeks while he responded, "O-of course, your Majesty! Er, Master Oakenshield! Right away, sir."

Bebother it all! That really set Fili and Kili off laughing at him! Bebother and Confusticate all of these dratted dwarves! Er, Dwarrow!

Bilbo ducked his head as he maneuvered Myrtle around the elongated pack of ponies towards the front, keeping his head only high enough to see where he was going and low enough to avoid the chuffed eyes of his new peers.

Thorin didn't seem to appreciate Bilbo's unsure behavior when the hobbit made his way over, grunting at the seemingly shy man to look at him while they talked.

_Oh, joy! _Thought Bilbo, sarcastically. _Just what I needed to improve my day! A lovely chat with his Highness about paying attention during mind numbing quests!_

He was in for a bit of a shock, therefore, when Thorin asked him how he was faring on his first quest, showing what seemed to be genuine interest.

Bilbo answered honestly, that he had expected quests to be much louder and more boisterous than the near silent wandering they had done that morning.

"You will learn to love these moments of calm, Master Burglar, for I expect they will be few and far between the closer we journey to my homelands.", Thorin advised calmly.

"Oh?"

"Yes.", began Thorin, gearing up for his first real conversation with this hobbit. He explained, "I have been on many a quest in my lifetime, you see. Some where I was a voluntary participant, others not so. Each journey, of course, had its own purpose, some regarding trade routes, one or two trips to reacquaint myself with distant relations. But each journey, without fail, had at some point encountered some form of hardships or run-ins with less-than friendly characters. It is wise to enjoy the quiet moments of this journey, mostly because this quest in particular has the potential to be the most harmful. Keep in mind, Burglar, that we will face by ourselves a live dragon before Erebor is reclaimed."

Bilbo could find no fault with this sound, yet terrifying, logic. Not only had Thorin explained in a more casual way than Bilbo had expected, especially having seen some of his interactions with his rowdy nephews, but it had also begun to sink in that Bilbo could lose his life on this quest.

_Not to mention, Georgiana won't be safe the whole way through, either._

Bilbo nodded solemnly, before asking, "You mentioned other journeys. What were some of your more enjoyable outings?"

Thorin chuckled deeply at hearing a quest called an 'outing', answering.

"Once, before Smaug the Terrible stole the Kingdom of Erebor, before I had even reached my majority! My siblings, Frerin (my brother) and Dis (my sister, mother of my nephews), and I were sent to accompany Balin on a 'short trip' to the Iron Hills to promote prosperous trade between the dwarven homelands. My father had entrusted us to the care of Balin, thinking, or I believe more accurately praying to Mahal, that the trip, with its sober business and dull nature, would allow us to mature or take interest in the business dealings of my grandfather's growing empire."

Balin, who had been listening with old heart, must have seen the bewildered look on Bilbo's face, because he cut in with an explanation before allowing Thorin to continue his tale, "In those days, Erebor was the mightiest of the Dwarven strongholds. The kingdom could, and did, boast caverns full of glittering gold, small mountains full of the evidence of our craft and expertise."

At this, Bofur added in, "Aye! Dwarves are the best craftsmen in all of Middle Earth!" The statement was followed by proud cheers of agreement.

"Ye see, Lad-", began Gloin. "Each dwarf claims a trade, which they will specialize in and excel at for the rest of their long lives. Some dwarrowdams become so dedicated to their trade, in fact, that they won't hear a word about marriage!" His statement earned a few good-natured chuckles, some dwarrows remembering their own mishaps with unwilling dwarrowdams.

Ori, however, was still desperately trying to preserve the secrecy of the culture, as he spluttered loudly and objected to Gloin's big mouth.

He was quickly told to relax, because they all had to _get to know each other_ somehow!

He huffed, but did not object any more as Thorin continued his story.

"Yes, the kingdom of Erebor was plentiful and gave way to huge successes during its golden era.", he recalled fondly. "But on this particular trip, Frerin and I decided to smuggle some of our pets with us. Dis, the always obedient, objected immediately. She claimed that we were disobeying our father's orders by bringing animals on a 'serious' journey...at least, she did until we convinced her that it did not count as disobedience if Father never outright told us we couldn't. She brought along an easily hidden animal, her raven, Bertok. He was a mean-spirited bird. But he was strangely kind to Dis."

"Frerin-for the life of me, I do not know how- found a way to hide his dog under a pile of blankets in one of the caravan wagons for most of the journey. This was no easy feat, that dog was almost bigger than Balin! Black, with thick fur and thickly muscled limbs. It was Frerin's playmate when I could not be there for him.", Thorin's voice colored almost unnoticeably with regret and Bilbo felt for him, wondering if Frerin was still alive to spend time with. He supposed not, otherwise Frerin likely would have been here with the rest of the Company.

"What was the dog's name, Uncle?", asked Kili gently, trying hard not to break the rare open trance into which his uncle had fallen with this little hobbit.

"Leka."

"That's an interesting name. What does it mean?", asked Bilbo.

"It means _defender_ in some dialects of Khuzdul.", Ori begrudgingly supplied when no one else did.

"Yes. Leka was a good dog. Very loyal to Frerin and unexpectedly well-behaved."

"Uncle, what animal did you sneak?", inquired Fili, barely withholding his patience.

His uncle chortled softly, "I brought my housecat, Aurnia."

"Uncle, you really named your cat, Golden Lady? Why?", questioned Kili disbelieving.

"Because the elves have a legend about a witch who lives in Lothlorien. Many call her the Golden Lady. As the elves would tell it, she is the most pure and shining creature to ever grace the lands of Middle Earth. At the time I received Aurnia as my pet, she was only a kitten, we had been forced to entertain a company of Thranduil's diplomats for a number of weeks. It seemed they had only just returned from a visit to the 'Golden Wood' and had nothing better to talk about than this mystical, Golden elf witch."

"She's not a witch, Thorin Oakenshield! She's supposed to be a very kind person, actually so be nice.", called Georgiana from far ahead. Somehow, she had found her way back to them in the same style of strange clothes Bilbo had met her wearing. on her shoulders, she carried a small bag almost overflowing with the clothes she wore the night before, and some personal luxuries from her home.

Bilbo was very glad to see her, and before they left Hobbiton! What fortune Bilbo seemed to be having! He caught a few pouches of coin thrown at him while they caught up to the young woman, who stood by with a look of pleased disbelief on her face.

Thorin threw a half-hearted glare at the girl, to which she responded by throwing up her hands placatingly and offering a swift apology beside encouragement to continue his tale.

"I'm glad you decided to join us, Girl. Your belongings are with my eldest nephew. Find a pony to share quickly, so we may continue our ride.", Thorin instructed, almost, but not quite put out from his storytelling mood.

Georgiana ended up sharing a pony with Fili, much to her chagrin and Kili's glee. Bilbo was a bit unnerved by how quickly Thorin's blonde heir and his charge got on, but dismissed the thoughts in favor of Thorin's story.

"As I was saying, my cat's name was Aurnia and she was so named for the brilliance of her coat, a brilliance I was hard pressed to find in the myth of a distant elven queen. I do not believe the elves ever caught on.", Thorin mused.

"The journey was set to last the three easy months between spring and fall. Normally, the journey from Erebor to the Iron Hills is only a matter of weeks, less in an emergency. But we traveled North to the Grey Mountains, then West as far as the Forest river, before turning back and onward to the Iron Hills to meet my cousins. In that time, Bertok, Leka and Aurnia stayed safely stowed away in covered cages, beneath mounds of blankets and, in Aurnia's case, nestled quietly atop the same mound. They went along with us, completely unnoticed for almost the entirety of the trip, which would have been a coup for us, as our first totally successful prank on my father or Balin. Sadly, upon reaching the Iron Hills, Dain, who was an unpleasant dwarfling, though he has since grown to be a respectable dwarf, found our companions and decided to attempt to steal them away." Thorin broke off his retelling, laughing quietly at the idea.

"This proved to be a _very bad idea, _when it was discovered Dain's awful luck with animals. The unfortunate lad tried to pet Leka, who was friendly and licked his hand. Dain's hand grew inflamed and itchy within minutes. He tried to hold Aurnia, and the normally calm cat seized hold of his arm, scratching and biting him, leaving teeth holes and long trails of red up and down his arms. Lastly, Dain grabbed hold of Bertok and tried to release him into the air. He had hoped to see him fly, as the ravens of Ravenhill were famous for the beauty of their glide. Instead of flying a long, graceful ring around Dain, as Bertok would have done for Dis, the sour bird soared high overhead in a short, tight ring, before diving to attack the head of my poor cousin. The lad was so downtrodden and _loud_ that the entirety of Erebor's diplomats and Dain's father's personal guard came rushing to see what the fuss was. They came expecting to fight off invaders or vagabond thieves. What they really found was my cousin crouched on the muddy ground trying to fend off an angry cat, protecting his head from a vengeful raven and trying to hide from an overfriendly dog!", Thorin finished to the sound of raucous laughter from the Company.

"My, that is quite a memorable journey!", Bilbo complimented, trying hard not to simper at the dwarf. Baggins of Bag End do not simper at strangers. Even when they tell such beautiful tales to take one's mind off the dullness of travel.

"Yes.", smiled Thorin for the hobbit. "And I hope to one day tell the tale in the halls of my fathers. When we reclaim Erebor. Perhaps you will be there, also, during the great feasts and celebrations when this quest has fulfilled its purpose."

Bilbo blushed to the roots of his hair, but smiled shyly as he replied, "Perhaps."

Not long after Thorin regaled his Company with the Unfortunate Tale of Dain and Durins' Pets- as the Company would affectionately refer to it as- the Company was made to set up camp for the night. Bilbo was surprised, and even a little bit disappointed, with how quickly the first day of his adventure flew by, but he finished his assigned tasks and ate his dinner and settled in to sleep feeling more content and happier than he could remember being for many years.

His last thought before welcoming his sleep was of a young, rambunctious Thorin, and his siblings, a golden cat, a black dog and a sour raven.

"_Perhaps, Thorin."_


	10. Georgie Nabs Fruit or Busted by Thorin

Georgiana was not surprised at all that her friendly, neighborhood hobbit was the first to saw logs that first night on the quest. Nor was she surprised that he made it a habit to drop off first every night for those first two weeks (after his Company duties, of course). After all, they were both discovering how difficult it was to drop their sedentary lifestyles in favor of the constant exercise this quest required.

She wouldn't lie. She was absolutely terrified of all of the running she knew would come up.

She wasn't exactly the fastest chick she knew, nor the most agile...or fittest...or strongest… In fact, she was content with her knowledge that most staircases left her winded and she would never be overly athletic. It was a fair statement to say that she was very much a lady-shaped log. (She was squishy enough that she couldn't call herself a stone, like she could call some of the Company within the safety of her mind. Dwalin, Thorin and Dori came to mind.)

But back to Bilbo.

Being used to light gardening and _some_ walking, Bilbo was understandably exhausted by the lengthy walking and lugging around of his massive supply pack. Thanks to her foreknowledge, she knew their packs would lighten quickly and had packed accordingly.

But the way Georgie saw it, Bilbo got the better end of the deal! He was able to start the journey on an excellent foot with his awesome first day. He got the whole day to bond with the Company, taking valuable first introductions and making steady memories, while Georgie had only popped in around what she guessed was midafternoon, leaving her not tired at all and with a distinct lack of a First-Day-of-Quest Memories.

This left her at a bit of a disadvantage for the first week or so, as she had trouble capturing the dwarrows' interests for longer than a few sentences, while Bilbo fared slightly better and had gotten a few dwarves to speak with him regularly since he got most of the first day awkwardness out of his system.

She sighed morosely at the loss.

Since her first choice interlocutor was currently dead to the world, Georgie decided to try her luck with the others in the ragtag bunch.

There was Gloin, over by his brother, Oin, and Dori. But, Georgie thought they looked deep into conversation already and she didn't want to disturb them.

She looked for other options.

Oh! Over by that large tree with the twisted, above-ground root was Nori and Ori and Bombur and Bofur. She had loads she could ask Nori about his sharper handed skills, she was insatiably curious about how, exactly, one trained themselves to pickpocket (or if he even had petty thief skillsets like that. Maybe the stories had gotten it wrong? It could happen!), but perhaps she should find a moment to speak with him separately. He didn't exactly seem like the type of dwarf to partake in useless chatter with people he barely knew.

Ori, she was sure, still had to be put out about her accompanying the Company, while Bombur and Bofur were, perhaps, a bit less friendly to strangers? She knew they were lovely characters in the stories, but would Bofur really be all that welcoming straight off? Bombur? Probably not. Now that she was thinking about it, Bofur would probably try to tease her, but since he didn't know her very well, she couldn't be sure his teasing would be kind-spirited.

Regarding Bombur, she was dying to question the cook on how one could improve their kitchen work! She had always been crap in the kitchen, knowing the theory and recipes to do things, but never getting enough physical practice and always screwing something up. How long did it take Bombur to accomplish his mastery? Probably not very long, he certainly whipped up that night's stew like a pro!

She did end up making a small, non committed movement toward the rotund dwarf, but decided against it, since he looked so happy talking with only Nori, Ori and Bofur.

She shrugged, though no one saw. That was alright, there were- she made a quick count in her head, fingers tallying in the air- seven more dwarves, er, dwarrow, plus a wizard she could chat with.

Bifur didn't look busy! In fact, he was walking towards her now!

She smiled up at him, tossing a greeting to him from her spot on the rock she had claimed by Bilbo's bed roll. (It was quite a sturdy, smooth, comfortable thing. She had been very pleased to find it. Honestly, she had forgotten it wasn't the bench from her backyard at home!)

He looked down at her, gave a little grunt and a small nod in her direction, slowing a bit...before walking right past her and into the trees behind her.

Oh. She blushed and shook her scrunched face to clear the mental picture. He probably needed some _personal_ time to _relieve_ some of the stress of the day.

Oh, crap. How was she going to find time to use her own bathroom time out here in the great outdoors? Georgie took a moment to route through the little, black sports bag she had filled with modern conveniences.

Hand sanitizer. Check. Toilet paper. Check. Black, rubber bands for her hair? (She had to dig a bit for the case, small as it was.) Phew! Check. Knitted hat. Check. Large plastic Ziplocs? Check. Toothbrush? Check. Towel. Sun screen. Blank paged notebook and pens and pencils and erasers and sharpener. Checks. The biggest bottle of otc antibiotics and modern first aid she could find (and afford). (The first aid kit contained the usual as instructed by Red Cross: a large bottle of rubbing alcohol, extra wound dressings, triangle bandages, tweezers, gloves, breathing masks- twenty-eight, thermometer, cold compresses, burn cream, antiseptic wipes, two bottles of aspirin and tylenol and a note telling her to go back to her world for prescription painkillers if the need arose.) Lastly, a few Gillette razors for when she got the chance to shave.

Well, that unnecessary inventory killed about twenty minutes. She cringed, not wanting to think of it as "killed time". More like she used her time, since she hated to waste time. Well, she could say she knew how to budget time...

That might have been another two minutes of time wasted thinking about how she didn't just waste her time.

This quest is turning out to be _sooo_ interesting.

She sought out _anyone_ else to talk to. Dwalin, Balin, Thorin and Gandalf of course were huddled together discussing God only knew what.

But that meant Fili and Kili weren't with them. Hm.

She stood up and looked for them around their campsite, a small clearing surrounded by lush bushes and short trees a few days after their supply stop at Bree.

All of a sudden she felt two sets of phantom hands grab an arm apiece and yank her back down onto her sitting rock.

She couldn't hold in her yelp of shock, which was loud, sharpish and incredibly girly. Most of the Company, with the exception of a knocked out Bilbo, turned to glare at her for being so loud, His Royal Grumpiness even called her out for it!

Blushing, she glared up at the two troublemakers who had scared her, "What in the Queen's bloody navy was _that_ for?" She received odd looks from both brothers before they decided to ignore her other-worldly reference. (Their Uncle had no queen yet and they couldn't think of any other kings.)

"Apologies, Miss Georgiana. That being, who often is confused for a stray orc that stalks me, wished only to bask in your glorious presence-", started Kili before he received a hard whap to the diaphragm by said orc-ish brother.

"_Actually,_ Kili here, lump of boil that he is-"

"Bless his heart.", threw in Georgie, grinning to the scowling archer and winking at Fili.

Fili caught the wink and laughed, continuing through Kili's cries of protest, "-decided that annoying me for the entirety of this journey would be a waste of his time, since he now has Master Boggins-"

"Baggins", corrected Georgie absentmindedly.

"-and yourself to include in his attacks of infancy."

"Fili worries over you like a mother hen and has done since looking out for you all day the first day of the quest! He only relaxed when you showed up in the middle of Uncle's story!", Kili blurted, triumphantly embarrassing Fili and Georgiana.

Fili, blushing like a tween, saved face with a calm smile and the ready explanation, "Twas nothing, to be sure." He finished, proud of himself for the quick fix, "I was merely looking after your things and waiting to give them to you when you joined us again. As for the rest… Though I am sure Kili has no gentile bone in his waifish body, I was raised to be a gentledwarf." His chest inflated with machismo as he ended proudly, "That means watching over the ladies of the Company."

Georgie felt her eyebrows rise of their own accord, bringing the tips of her lips up with them. _Ladies? Who's the other girl in the group?_

She decided to let it go. He was probably talking about Bilbo, anyway. She shook her head, chuckling at his nonsense.

To his brother, she stage-whispered, "Is he always this smooth?"

Kili looked a bit confused at first, but caught on quickly, along with a bemused Fili, "Oh yes. He talked us both out of all sorts of trouble when we were younger, too! People called him 'charming.'"

The trio grinned goodnaturedly as Georgie turned back to Fili. "Doesn't surprise me much. You are _quite charming."_ , she teased, voice adopting shrillness as, with the last words, she flapped her arms about impersonating a cartoon Southern Belle.

Kili suddenly found himself on the floor with his laughing.

Fili kinda smirked at her a bit.

"But really, what was that all about? I thought you guys would be more prim and polite towards proper young ladies in this era?", she overemphasized 'proper young ladies' with an imitation of a Disney Harridan and held a hand to her chest to indicate herself.

"You're not exactly _proper_, though. You're just, Miss Georgiana and you're a part of this Company.", began Fili, matter-of-factly.

"And since nobody in the Company-"

"-with the exception of Master Baggins-"

"-could ever really be called _proper_, we'll treat you just the same as everyone else!"

"Rudely, Miss Georgiana.", finished Fili.

Georgie laughed heartily at their synchronization, being at once freaked out and wildly impressed.

"Alright, fair enough! But anyway, what are you two up to? Anything interesting? Anything I can help with?", she asked rapidly, trying to be subtle about how incredibly bored she was.

The boys made a big show of pondering her question, rubbing mustaches, or in Kili's case peach fluff, and tapping their elbows from their place on the ground.

"Now that you mention it, we are doing something…", Kili began this time.

Fili picked up the punchline with a cheesy grin, "Talking to you!"

"Y'all are goofy. Anybody ever tell you that?", at their shaking heads, she stated, "Well, you are. How about this, since none of us are currently doing anything important, how about you help me with something. Just something small to kill the time before we really need to get to bed."

When they agreed, she nodded approvingly and directed through her small smile, "Alright-y, help me find the prettiest plants around here. Like at least two from both of you. I'll need you two goofballs to find a sapling you like that you think might be a native to the Shire, a flower and a shrub. all that you think won't be found anywhere else on MIddle Earth. What you'll do is find the plants really young, which shouldn't be too hard since Spring is only half finished, and uproot them as gently as you can, that way the roots don't die or get mutilated. We need seeds or nuts if you can find them, and roots. When you find them, and I only need two from both of you, probably only one, really, as long as its a different plant, and bring them back her so I can put them away. Sound good?"

"I am confused as to why you want us to help you garden at this time in the evening, but since it's around the time Kili and I would normally be training anyway, we will do our best.", Fili agreed.

"We should try to meet up within the next hour, to avoid trouble.", Kili added smartly.

"Sounds good to me. Thanks, guys, meet you here in a bit!", with that, Georgie rushed off into the trees seeking Shire treasures while the boys went the other way.

Since the Company had stayed so close to the Brandywine all day, they ended up being really close to some of the Shire's best orchards. Georgie discovered this gladly when she came to the corner of a pear, apple and peach grove. It sorta reminded her of the fence in the back of her dad's house.

The fence met at a strange angle in the back, creating a little triangular nook separating three yards. The perfect hiding spot for Hide and Go Seek growing up.

The corner created by the three orchards was very similar, being mapped out like a boxy puzzle with a tree of each kind in all three corners providing unnecessary shade from the lowering sun. Though, unlike her dad's fence, this fence wasn't taller than she was or made of wide, thin boards meant to keep neighbors out, instead being a simple rail fence she easily climbed through.

She ducked under one of two rails in the fence to get to the first tree, an apple tree. The tree was healthy, with lots of premature apples already growing on lower branches. They would probably turn a deep, crisp red before autumn began. Georgie was therefore rather shocked to find a perfectly ripe-though small- apple laying at the base of the trunk, which she swiftly grabbed and shoved into her sports bag to bring to the Durin heirs.

She climbed through the fence to her right, next, grinning as she took a long, clean whiff of peaches and apple and dark, coffee soil, sweetened with wafts of pear from yards away. She didn't know in which season peaches usually ripened, but she did find more than one resting on the ground. Two that were perfect for nibbling, having no wormholes, bruises, moldy spots or what-have-you's on the delicate skin, a miracle by itself! In they went into her sports bag.

Lastly, she crossed the unclaimed area and over the fence (to spice things up a bit) to the pear grove. Unlike the other two, she couldn't find any on the ground, in fact, she had to climb quite a ways to reach the lowest pears. They, too, went into her sports bag.

She had a bit of a dilemma getting down again. She scoffed. _Understatement of the century!_

See, the way Georgie figured, it shouldn't have been a big deal.

They were _just_ little dogs! Little mongrels who were probably only a few weeks past that age when all animals were cute and harmless, being smaller than a fully grown hound and larger than a pup, with mongrel coats of black, brown and white and floppy ears. It was a pack of around six in total, she thought- They kept running around and over each other, so Georgie had a hard time counting- but they were old enough to look fierce as they yipped and nipped at her ankles.

She tried to rationalize her fear by saying they couldn't honestly do that much damage, _plus_ she would be facing much more ferocious creatures than what she was pretty sure were the recently born dogs of Farmer Maggot, (Or, wait, Sam and Frodo and Merry and Pippin would deal with the good Farmer's dogs in another sixty years or so! So these must be the grandparent dogs of those mongrels.) but fear is an irrational beast.

While she was clutching the branch she had climbed upon and contemplated how in the world she would get past the pack of preteen catastrophes before Farmer Maggot showed up, trying desperately to think of the dogs as cute and playful puppies rather than bloodthirsty, vicious predators (their resemblance to German shepherds was uncanny!), she failed to catch the snickering duo who had approached the pear tree.

"Having trouble, Miss Georgie?", called a gleeful Kili from no more than three feet away, causing Georgie to scream bloody murder.

It wasn't her fault, really. She blamed the dumb dwarf that didn't understand she responded poorly to being startled.

She couldn't help her facepalm, dragging her left hand down her face, right hand still clutching the trunk. "Kili.", she growled his name like a threat, voice filled with all the murderous intent she could muster. Evidently, it wasn't much, because his only response was a raised brow and a smirk.

There was no winning with this one, was there?

"Where's Fili?", she asked after an exasperated sigh.

Her answer came in the words whispered directly into her left ear, so close she felt the vibrations and the mustache braids more than she heard the words.

"Behind you."

She was proud of herself for having enough sense left not to scream bloody murder like her terribly dog-frayed nerves demanded.

Instead, while she focused on shutting herself up- gasping in a great gulp of air- instinct took over.

In the span of roughly three seconds, which began when she felt- rather than heard- the vibrations on her ear, she dropped into a simulacrum of a crouch on her perch, and threw her elbow back quicker and harder than she ever realized she could.

Poor Fili, who had a weak hold on his branch to begin with and whose boots were barely on the trunk, didn't stand a chance.

At the blow to his lower stomach (but thankfully no lower), Fili lost his hold on the tree, falling back to the ground and landing hard on his back with mighty flaps of his arms and a loud grunt. (Luckily, the pear tree had pretty low branches, so he didn't fall very far from the tree.)

Georgie, likewise, lost her questionable balance and fell forward on her belly in the dirt, also with a groan.

Thankfully, her fruits were fine!

When she picked herself up, she noticed Kili had placed himself on the ground, playing with Farmer Maggot's Monster Pack, laughing his head off at the disaster Georgie had caused.

She was just helping Fili- and his _many_ knives, which freaked her out a bit since she didn't want him to get stabbed accidentally falling from a Godforsaken pear tree before the Quest even had a chance to begin!- up off the ground, taking a selfish moment to pat his muscles under the guise of dusting him off, when she heard the first shouts of Farmer Maggot rushing (as much as the chubby hobbit could rush) down the rows of pear trees to scold them.

"Come _on! Hurry up, you two!", _Georgie cried urgently. She didn't like to think about what Thorin would do to them if they got caught by Farmer Maggot, who would no doubt accuse them of stealing his crops no different than troublesome Took fauntlings, which he was now calling them, actually.

Kili shooed the pups away, Fili grabbed Georgie's arm and they _ran._

They ran for what felt like only a few short seconds, barely a minute, before they burst through the bushes of the campsite.

Understandably, their less-than-subtle entrance freaking the Hell out of Thorin and a few of the other battle-hardened dwarves.

They leapt from their comfortable positions around camp, weapons at the ready in an instant and pointed at the troublesome trio.

When Thorin realized the Company was in no immediate danger, he grit his teeth, stomped toward the panting three and seized his nephews by the backs of their necks, Georgie being herded uncomfortably and strategically with the other two.

"What in the name of Durin did you three think you were doing?! Do you have none of the sense with which you were born! You three could've just given away our position to Mahal only knows who! If we were anywhere but the Shire I would be moving the Company to make camp somewhere else. You could have jeopardized the safety of this Company and I demand to know why!", bellowed Thorin when he had pulled them aside of the camp and sat them down like toddlers in preparation of their incoming lecture.

Georgie tried to arrange her legs comfortably after being semi-tossed onto the ground, she was hoping to avoid explaining, but to no avail. Meekly, she answered, "Finding more firewood?" She couldn't withhold the wince when she heard the question in her own voice.

Thorin gave her a _look_, filled with dumbstruck disbelief, as if he couldn't believe she was stupid enough to expect that half-assed excuse to work, much less that she actually tried it!

Thorin should mass produce that look and sell it to the companies that made the Parents-of-Delinquents programs, it certainly shut her down!

He could probably make a killing if he went through with it.

Heh. Killing.

_That's what Thorin's gonna be doing to us in a few seconds_.

She honestly had to chomp her bottom lip to keep from grinning through her terror. It was an abhorrent habit she picked up when she was little and her dad would scold her and it stole a place on her face every time she got into trouble for as long as she could remember. Strangely, she only smiled like that when she was getting a talking to. Never when she was given a real reason to be afraid.

Oh. Fili was speaking.

"Uncle, we really were collecting supplies. Only, we ran into a pack of-"

"- ferocious beasts, sir. Miss Georgie, being inexperienced with much fighting and not knowing how best to defend against such large animals-"

"-called to us for aid. Like the gentledwarves you raised us to be-"

"-we _couldn't possibly_ allow the young woman to remain in such distress! And so-"

"-we immediately dropped what little supplies we had acquired and came to-"

"-her rescue!", the brothers finished convincingly, though it looked like they were fighting just as hard as she to keep their own mischief grins at bay.

Thorin seemed to appreciate the theatrics of his nephews much more than her bland explanation, raising an almost bemused brow at them before speaking.

"Indeed?", Thorin asked expectantly.

When they all enthusiastically nodded, he continued with a cloying impersonation of concern. "Then Miss Georgiana will need _extensive_ and _intense_ training to cover her _grievous_ disadvantage", the Kingly dwarf sneered at her. "It would be best to accomplish this during whatever restful moments we find on the road, and before we meet any real dangers", he ordered, pacing in front of them, looking disgustingly royal with starched posture and hands clasped behind his back.

A very sadistic and passive aggressive king, if Georgie could have said so.

"Fili!", he turned on the leonine heir. "You will start the girl's training with basic hand-to-hand combat. After such a point as I deem her ready (or she drags you two into more mischief) I want her to learn strategy and close-range weaponry."

Thorin paused for a moment before adding, "I also expect her to know how to hide her weapons efficiently and how to maintain them. You will do this for however long it takes her to ready herself for sparring with the others as punishment for trying to lie to me about however you three managed to terrorize the local hobbits."

Fili honestly didn't feel he had been punished. It was more that he had been given a necessary chore that no one else wanted.

Thorin hoped the task would help Fili hone his leadership skills and teach him a semblance of the humility he would need as king.

Then, it was Kili's turn. "Kili!", Thorin barked. "As Fili will be handling weapons management, strategy and hand-to-hand, you will teach the girl everything you know about long-range weaponry. Bows, spears, projectiles. Everything. You will also teach her constant vigilance-"

Georgie almost fainted for holding back the Harry Potter reference she wanted to make.

"- defensive maneuvers, how to stay out of sight when necessary and tracking. This, you will do as punishment also."

"What? Why!? For what crime do I deserve punishment?", stammered Kili, indignantly.

Georgie almost kicked the annoying dwarf. Honestly, the nerve! She wanted to tell him off, but didn't know how to start.

Thorin beat her to it.

"For aiding your brother in his misguided attempt at secrecy", Thorin finished smugly. "Oh, and as Fili will begin with hand-to-hand training, I want you to begin with evasion."

Addressing his pair of errant nephews, but glaring fiercely at her, Thorin ordered brusquely, "Use whatever teaching methods you deem necessary. Refrain only from actions which would hinder this quest."

Georgie didn't think Thorin understood how little this rated as a punishment for the Durin siblings, at least it seemed like they didn't count their orders as punishments: they kept grinning like mad whenever Thorin turned the other way. (Even Kili, who moments before sat imitating a petulant Kindergartener.)

One such time was when Thorin turned to address her. The brothers looked especially eager to hear her punishment doled out.

The majestic slavedriver turned to her slowly, probably to build up the tension. He had no need of it, of course. He grew tension in spades. Besides, one disappointed look and Georgie would've been a goner. Not that she would willingly tell any of the dwarrow that before they found out on their own!

"As for you, _little_ _girl_", he began scathingly, all glower and low-thrumming voice. "you will follow their every instruction _without_ complaint of any kind, aid them in their chores when called upon- them and any other dwarf here who calls."

That order gained matching smirks, one mustached and the other peach fuzzed.

Thorin continued, oblivious or uncaring, "In addition to your training, if Dwalin, Balin or I am too busy, you will practice what you learn in your lessons by sparring with the Burglar."

That seemed fair enough to Georgie. She didn't want to be a burden and she was sure Bilbo felt the same. She understood Thorin's decision well enough, though she certainly _did_ _not_ like it.

He must've seen her look of resignation as confusion, however, because he needlessly explained, "You and the Burglar, both, have want of strength, endurance and stamina, all things I expect you to gain and maintain through the course of this journey, though Fili or Kili are to help you train. We have no need of _useless_ _freeloaders_." He spat the last derisively,"I allowed you both a place in my Company and I'll not allow anyone who travels with my name to become _helpless_ or unfit for the challenges we will no doubt face. Since you are here, you will work. _Hard_."

Georgie gulped, unashamed of her abhorrence of long-term strenuous exercise. She tried looking on the bright side, at least she would lose a few pounds like she promised herself for New Year's.

Any silver lining she found melted into a scowl when she caught the sadistic looks on Fili and Kili's faces. They were probably already planning unique torments and pranks in the name of her and Bilbo's "training".

"Do you understand?", Thorin demanded impatiently. Evidently, Gandalf and the other old farts of the Company were more interesting than she thought.

Fili cleared his throat loudly when she didn't answer right away.

"Um, yes, sir, Mr. Oakenshield, sir!", she coughed out, saluting him and thinking "Oh, Captain, my Captain".

Thorin sneered at her, but she caught the roll of his eyes and the upward twitch of his mouth as he turned back to his companions for the night, boots thumping the ground with somewhat majestic, but really more goofy, percussion on the dirt.

So he didn't hate her much, after all. That was a relief, though she doubted he would ever be an open softy.

She apologized to Fili and then Kili for the misadventure she had caused that evening. They responded with illegal grins and assurances that she would be demanding apologies from them over the next few weeks. She groaned, low and wary, at the thought.

She settled her bedroll by Bilbo that evening, not wanting to be vulnerable to midnight pranks by the goofball brothers she had befriended. Before she could get comfortable enough, right when she had closed her eyes and was rolling around for the perfect position, someone _flicked_ her forehead.

_Of all the injustices!_

She crunched tighter into her thin blanket, which had miraculously fit into her pack, and waited for the annoying perpetrator to vanish.

She got another flick, this time on her nose and from a hand that smelled differently than the first. This one smelled like gloves and hand sweat, rather than dirt and dog fur.

She ducked her head further hoping, foolishly, that Fili and Kili would get the message.

They didn't.

Instead, they began poking her.

The poking was kinda fun for Georgie, (if she would admit it to herself) though it embarrassed her to no end. Everyone enjoyed being tickled, didn't they? Georgie did, which was why she only sort of minded when the diabolical duo discovered her insane sensitivity for being tickled. She wriggled so hard at their pokes and jabs that she had to open her eyes and give them attention, lest they get her to yelp so badly she woke- or startled- the whole camp. For as much as she loved tickling and being tickled, now was absolutely the wrong time and place to do it!

"What do you two hooligans want!?", she groused.

"Nothing of too much importance, Your Majesty.", started Fili. "We just wanted to share our findings from earlier with you, before we could forget in the morning."

She was about to ask what findings they were talking about when Kili took her left hand, turning it over to place a weird looking nut into her palm. It was white with red streaks, reminding her of a tiger, shaped like a , Fili took her right, repeated his brother's action with the bulb of a flower of some kind. If she had to guess, she'd say it was a flower of some kind with a long stem. Tulips and Irises had bulbs like that one.

She was so happy they remembered! Even more that they found plants that were really interesting. She couldn't wait to ask Bilbo all about them so she could start cataloguing them and putting them in a baggie.

Before any of that, she yanked both dwarves down to her level and pulled them into a tight embrace, hugging them tightly like she had when she met them in person for the first time, whispering her thanks quicker than her racing heartbeat.

"Thank you. You have no idea how neat this is going to be by the end of it! I can't wait to plant these!" Her face screwed into one of intense consideration as she spouted, "Of course, we'll have to wait until we establish a nice garden area, fertile soil, _loads_ of sun, enough shade. The works."

Grinning evilly, she stated, "You two are a part of my little scheme now. That means rules; Don't tell Thorin. Or Bilbo. Or Balin. Or Gandalf, though he'll probably figure it out or we might need to ask him some things about properly storing these to last our journey safely, but for now, let's try to keep this between us, okay?", she ramblingly instructed.

They agreed after she told them about her plan and the trio finally settled down to sleep. Gandalf watched over them with fond eyes, chuckling at their youth, before checking on the rest of the Company.

**Many apologies for the slow update! Hopefully this long chapter makes up for it(even if it is mostly filler)?**

**PB**


End file.
